A Gamer Forever Voyaging

Kokotoni Wilf (ZX Spectrum)

2012-01-18T20:13:00.009Z

I've played some games with some stupidly-named heroes in my time. I've played Nodes of Yesod. I've played some Final Fantasy games, if only briefly. I haven't really played a Zelda game, but I know they've got some stupid names. It's kind of expected that characters will be named unconventionally. But what on earth would posses you to name your hero Kokotoni Wilf?

Released in the front half of the Eighties, Kokotoni Wilf was the first ever release from renowned company Elite. It's very highly regarded among Speccy owners, and indeed, I remember quite enjoying it at a friend's house. So in an off-period, having trawled through my archives, I thought I'd play it again for the first time in over twenty-five years.

I'm sure I've seen better dinosaurs on the wall of my kid's classroom.

Kokotoni Wilf is the poor, put-upon assistant of Ulrich the Magician. Ulrich is apparently so powerful that he is able to keep all the dangerous dragons of the world asleep. The spell, though, is about to expire, and Ulrich must renew it. Unfortunately, the powerful Dragon Amulet, a might artifact essential in casting the spell, has been broken and scattered across time...

That seems a bit irresponsible to me... how could you let something so important get smashed to bits? Anyway, Ulrich might be powerful, but he's also old and apparently his spell repertoire does not extend to magically collecting the pieces of Amulet, so it's up to Wilf to get out there and physically do the job.

Someone explain to me how that big thing got in this small cave, please.

It's a tricky task, so to give his manservant a bit of a hand, Ulrich give Wilf a pair of magical wings, so he can get to those tricky to reach spots. These will come in handy in your passage through time... jumping over dinosaurs and the like could be a bit beyond a man!

I can't say I remember just why I enjoyed this so much back then. I mean, I had an Atari 2600 which had considerably better sound than the Spectrum. And it's a very hard game to love on appearances. Initially, it looks like something a primary school class conceived and drew, with bright primary colours splashed across childish-looking characters.

Yeah, nice work, smarty-pants. Icarus could do that too, and where did it get him? Eh?

And then, the gameplay itself is terribly slow. For all he's got wings, Wilf limps around from screen to screen with all the urgency of a crippled sloth, which doesn't make the game very exciting.

For all that, though, there's something quite compulsive about Wilf's hunter-gathering exploits. Maybe the trip through time has something to do with that; or maybe it's that urge to see what's on the next screen (for better or worse). Maybe it's just that you don't want to be beaten by its infantile creations.

There you go, old reviewers... three games and I'm onto 1066AD. It's not that hard...

Kokotoni Wilf picked up all kinds of awards on its release, and even to this day is rated very highly on the excellent World of Spectrum website. Those rose-tinted glasses must be prettyy powerful, because it's really not that good. But it's not a dead loss either, and in those days when imagination counted for more and we were more prepared to imagine ourselves in a dinosaur-filled wonderland, I expect it was fairly easy to lose a good few nights after school to this.

As a kind of postscript, I had a read of the reviews for this on World of Spectrum, and was quite surprised to find that a fair number of them appear to have been written by people who couldn't be bothered to play the game properly before reviewing it. A few reviews mentioned not getting past the dinosaur section, which was only twelve or so screens of a sixty-screen game. To be fair, I haven't played it properly either, but at least I put a bit of effort into it, and it's not that hard. It gives you an even greater appreciation for the skills and application of the ZZAP! lads (and by association, the CRASH lot as well). I suppose a lot of games were released back then and time was at a premium, but it explains why ZZAP! 64 and CRASH were so far ahead of the rest... they appear to be about the only ones who actually enjoyed playing games!

Ganymed (Commodore Amiga)

2012-01-16T19:04:00.004Z

So, after writing my top 11 iOS games of last year, I fancied a break before I started on the big boy games. So I was scrolling through GameBase, and as I went through the Amiga games, clicking on random games and looking at screenshots, I saw one that featured AT-ATs. Fantastic! Let's have a go at that.

Echo station 3-T-8, we have spotted something a lot like Imperial walkers, but that aren't actually Imperial walkers.

The game was, and indeed is called Ganymed. An odd title for sure, and no doubt a riff on Jupiter's moon, Ganymede. That moon is largely covered in ice, much like the planet Hoth in The Empire Strikes Back, where AT-ATs march relentlessly in, smashing anything in their path.

And so, with that connection made, I settled down for a good blast.

You know, there have been some really good games featuring large walkers that you must shoot down. Parker's own The Empire Strikes Back, on the Atari VCS/2600, was a tense, thrilling blast, where you took your fragile snowspeeder to battle the Empire's mighty walkers. I spent hours on that game, which may well have been the very first game responsible for giving me an aching thumb.

Who'd have thought that blowing up a metal beast would result in an explosion of jam and custard?

Then there was Jeff Minter's Attack of the Mutant Camels. Although this had a distinctly British sense of humour added to the mix, the core gameplay was much the same, and probably accounted for a lot of knackered fire buttons on computer systems across the globe.

Ganymed is not a really good game featuring large walkers. It is, in fact, a shit game featuring large walkers. Essentially, it's the old Atari Empire Strikes Back game, with arguable better graphics and inarguably worse gameplay. Each level sees you take off in your ~~snowspeeder~~ ship, scrolling from right to left to confront the giant metal beasts, of which there are three.

You're just running around like a headless chicken.

Yes, each level contains a not-exactly-unmanageable three enemy walkers. Defeat them and you whizz off to the next level. Take a couple of hits and you die. Let them reach the right of the screen, and it's game over, quite unceremoniously and without fanfare. Just a message saying "You lost all your ships".

And that's it. It's rubbish. Of all the things to stop on randomly, I managed to hit Ganymed. Out of 50,000 games over 18 systems, I landed on Ganymed. I won't be making that mistake again.

Top 11 of '11 (iOS) - the rundown.

2012-01-13T22:03:00.003Z

Just in case you feel like posting any of this anywhere (and I'd love it if you did), here's the top 11 as a list of links, so you only need to post one link rather than all eleven.

Number 1 - Silversword.
Number 2 - Minotaur Rescue.
Number 3 - Jetpack Joyride.
Number 4 - Forget-Me-Not.
Number 5 - Hard Lines.
Number 6 - X-Baseball.
Number 7 - Bug Princess.
Number 8 - Monsters Ate My Condo.
Number 9 - PicoPicoFighters.
Number 10 - Groove Coaster.
Number 11 - Space Junk.

So there we have it... my favourite iOS games of the year. Looking at that, I think it's a damn good list. But what do you think? Please let me know!

Top 11 of '11 (iOS). Number 1 - Silversword.

2012-01-11T17:20:00.011Z

A lot of you might not have heard of my number 1 pick. And, it's fair to say, I may have been wearing rose-tinted glasses whilst picking it. But so what? It may be very retro, and not terribly original, but you could say that about a lot of games in this list. It's not a "Top 11 all-original all-new-concept games" or a "Top 11 non-retro games" list. It's my favourite iOS games of 2011. And Silversword is my very favourite of them.

Bit of a dump, this, innit?

When I was a lad, back in the mid-to-late-80s, I owned a Commodore 64. One day, I wandered into the computer shop as normal, and there on the shelf was a game called The Bard's Tale. I'd read the review of it in ZZAP! 64, and it sounded amazing. But it was disk-only. Or so I thought...

I picked it up to have a look at it, and saw that this version came on two cassettes. And it was only £2.99! There was no way I could turn that down, not at that price. So I bought it, and trundled off home to play...

Cat got your tongue? Oh... no. I see that it hasn't.

It wasn't what you would call an immediate game, The Bard's Tale. To a novice, all the rolling characters and stuff was a bit highbrow. The game did give you a pre-rolled team to play with if you wanted, but where's the fun in that? Once you got started, exploring the ruins of Skara Brae was genuinely thrilling... until one of you got killed by a low-level monster and you had to either start again or create a new character.

Eventually, you'd learn to fight your battles carefully and save after every one. It was the only way to make progress, and it was very slow going, but you could cut the tension with a broadsword. After a long time spent creeping about you'd be able to level up, becoming more powerful and finding better weapons and armour. And then you'd feel brave enough to tackle your first dungeon...

Come on gang, let's get powerful!

The Bard's Tale took me thirteen months to complete. I can say, with complete honesty, that I enjoyed every second of it. Yes, even the multiload. Yes, even the epic fight with four groups of 99 Berserkers. On occasions such as these, I'd just read ZZAP! 64 or listen to my Yngwie Malmsteen albums. Happy days.

Here's where the point emerges. I've been looking for a game like The Bard's Tale for years. I could play the original on an emulator, but time has robbed me of much of the patience I need. The Etrian Odyssey games fit the bill even if they are really, really hard. But they're on the DS, and I don't carry that around with me (shamefully, I don't use it much in the house, either). But Silversword, on my iPhone, is perfect.

Hey, look! The circus in town!

It really could be The Bard's Tale IV. The game has that distinct style you'd expect of a Bard's Tale game... three windows, one at the bottom displaying your party, one at the top left showing you the game world, and one at the top right giving you a description of anything interesting that's happening. A heart-warming sight, indeed.

So, once you've had a read of the instruction manual, you'll be ready to go. Hang on a minute... what? That's right... Silversword comes with a 41-page instruction manual. It's a real rarity nowadays, and is very welcome. If you're particularly enamoured, you can buy (for £1.99, through In-App Purchases) the Silversword compendium, which is an expanded version of the manual running at 74 pages.

Jeeesus Christ! Run away! Run awaaaaaaay!

I've forked out for that, although you're not missing that much if you don't. You'll get illustrations and more details on the character classes, which are nice additions. Of more practical use are the creature and item lists. These seemingly-exhaustive documents provide all kinds of information... values of items, who can use them and what benefits they give, for example, and creature types, hit points and XP values. This could be seen as being a bit spoilerish, but if you don't buy it you've got nothing to worry about, and if you do you're probably going to be playing the game enough to find it of real use.

Silversword begins with you in the Ruin Camp in the realm of Tarnak. There's a team pre-assembled and waiting... rather like a new car, you can take them out for a "test drive" while you get used to the game, its controls and how it works. They're a decent bunch, and if you want to play the game with them you most certainly can. However, it's much more enjoyable to roll your own characters, and go to battle yourself with a bunch of your mates or heroes by your side. I have a load of real-life musicians that I like battling with me... yes, I'm just that sad.

Ahhh, that Sister Elenore is a Saint!

Once you're out and about, you'll find yourself in the ruins of Castle Cranbourgh. It's best to have a bit of a wander and familiarise yourself with the surroundings. At first, you'll be spending a lot of time here. Luckily, the game auto-maps itself, and it allows you to make notes at points of interest. This is a great feature, and saves massively on the cost of graph paper!

The wrecked town around the castle contains an armoury, weapons store, training hall and shrine. From these you can buy armour and weapons (obviously), level up when you have the experience, and heal wounded characters. You'll also encounter characters in the town that will prove useful if you can complete certain actions...

Alright, gang... we're going in...

Set foot a bit further afield, and you'll find towers and dungeons, and new, fiercer creatures. That's why you have to take baby steps... stray too far and you'll get creamed. This kind of "grinding" is either loathed or tolerated it seems... I really don't mind it in games like this, because I genuinely enjoy the whole process. Just pottering about and figuring the lie of the land is good.

Another benefit of doing this is that the more you perform certain actions, the better you get at them. So spellcasters are more likely to cause more damage with a spell the more they use it, for example (not exceeding its maximum, of course). So it does pay to beat up the little guys, although whether it's worth the time it takes is debatable.

Alright, now it's brown trousers time!

Your actual quest is very vague. You don't really know what to do or where to go. But I actually like this aspect of it. It means that you piece together the storyline as you go. Or at least, that's what I'm expecting. I haven't got all that far yet, at least, I don't think I have. I've no idea how big this game might be. But I'm going to find out... even if it takes me thirteen months, or longer... there have been loads more Yngwie Malmsteen albums released since then...

Silversword is my number one iOS game of 2011. It's a Universal app, and is currently £2.99... exactly the same price I paid for The Bard's Tale about twenty-five years ago.

Top 11 of '11 (iOS). Number 2 - Minotaur Rescue.

2012-01-09T12:52:00.012Z

If 2012 is the Year of the Dragon, then 2011 was the Year of the Yak. Programming veteran Jeff Minter turned his bearded head towards Apple's devices, cranked up his Minotaur Project, and Llamasoft turned out four new games. It was like 1983 all over again.

Of course, anyone with a knack for code could knock out four games in a year, but that wouldn't mean they would necessarily be any good. Of Llamasoft's games, three of them were genuine contenders for this list. The only one that wasn't, for me personally, was trippy puzzler Deflex. There's nothing wrong with that game, in fact I do quite enjoy it, but I'm not very good at it and, well, there were at least eleven games I enjoyed more.

Whooo, bendy bullets!

The other two games that missed the list were Minotron: 2112, an excellent reworking of Minter's Atari ST classic Llamatron, and Goat Up, the first ever Llamasoft platform game. Minotron is a twin-stick Robotron-inspired shooter that sees you blasting all manner of bizarre and hostile objects, including telephones, footballs, bags of chips and the like. Goat Up brought to mind Rainbow Islands, as it scattered untold amounts of bonus goodies your way as you leapt ever upward (and eventually downward). They're very good indeed, but I'll write separate posts about them at a later date.

But the game I chose to put on the list, the game that is not out of place in any way at number two, is Minotaur Rescue.

It's a hybrid of many games, is Minotaur Rescue. It looks just like the old Atari VCS version of Asteroids, if it was thrown into a Space War machine. And then had some of Minter's own Gridrunner Revolution added to it. At least three shooting games in one. Bullet-tastic!

That sun makes me want to eat a banana toffee. Or play Atari VCS PacMan.

One of the main strengths of Minotaur Rescue is the control method. The game uses an autofire method, which is the firing mechanism of choice for yer iDevice shooter. It really doesn't make sense to have a fire button on a screen, unless your game has an excellent reason for not using autofire.

Coupled with that, though, is the swipe control system. It's a little tricky to get used to at first, but once you master it (or even get mildly proficient at it) you'll be whizzing about all over the screen like it's second nature. It's a far better method than using a virtual joystick, certainly for this game, and adds an extra level of control that you'll find very welcome in time...

The object of the game, of course, is to rescue minotaurs. Actually, it isn't... that's just an element of the game, and a chance to earn stacks of bonus points. The object of the game is to shoot things and not get killed. Yes, it's that simple.

It's hard to control the stream...

Complicating matters a little is the sun in the middle of the screen. It pulses away happily to itself, unless you get too close at which point you'll discover it has its own gravity, and will destroy you if you get too close. As if that wasn't bad enough, it'll destroy anything else that gets too close. Uh-oh.

That means that you have to manage its size as you play. That's easily done... destroy all the asteroids and pick up all the minotaurs before they get swallowed up, and all will remain well and relatively unthreatening. But it's inevitable that you'll miss some...

You can, though, use the sun's gravity for your own good. The gravity also affects your ship's bullets, so you can position yourself on the screen in such a way that you can bend your bullets around the sun to destroy asteroids. Learning how to do this effectively is beneficial but not hugely important (at least, not on the small-screen version - I haven't played it on the iPad)... there's not much that's that far out of reach and that you'll need to destroy urgently.

Check me out, with my million points!

Causing further problems are the enemy craft that sporadically appear and try to kill you. At first, you're only attacked by UFOs from the original VCS Asteroids. But as time goes by, others join the fray... a Star Raiders TIE-Fighter-esque ship, a Defender Baiter, Combat jets... all will weigh in with attempts to destroy you. If you've played any of these games in the past, they're likely to bring smiles to your face as they're having a go at you.

Failure to keep the sun from expanding will see it turn into a black hole, and then you're really in trouble. Black holes swallow everything in sight, and you'll have a giant problem just keeping yourself out of there. It reminds me a little of the end of the world in Defender, where only great skill will see you extending your game.

Once you've got got to grips with the control system, the first few levels of Minotaur Rescue are quite simple. Luckily, Llamasoft's excellent tried-and-tested level select is available, and you can choose your starting point up to any level you've previously completed, picking up your previous best score once its completed. It's a brilliant way of making sure you don't get bored with the early levels once you're good at the game, and should be standard in all new arcade games.

This is a different kind of Combat...

As a package, Minotaur Rescue is fantastic. For 69p you get two versions of the main game (default game Solar Minotaur Rescue Frenzy and Survival), plus Deep Space Minotaur Madness (a different variation on the main game with no sun), Tanks, and Jets. Tanks and Jets are Minter-arranged versions of the games from Combat with eye-melting visuals and subtle gameplay refinements...

Minotaur Rescue is a true star of the App Store. Llamasoft's aim to recreate new arcade games in an old style has been perfectly realised with this title. It's great for a quick blast, or if you want to sit down for a long session of minotaur rescuing. It plays tremendously well, is always enjoyable and rarely frustrating... and it's cheap. If you've got a current generation iPhone/iPod Touch or an iPad, you should really give it a try. Although Llamasoft titles don't appeal to all, if you click with it you'll have a fantastic time. Surely 69p is a small gamble for the amount of fun you could have?

Minotaur Rescue is a Universal App.

Top 11 of '11 (iOS). Number 3 - Jetpack Joyride.

2012-01-08T18:26:00.006Z

Every so often, a game comes along that, for whatever reason, becomes a juggernaut. We've seen it in the past... Angry Birds, World of Warcraft, Horace Goes Skiing. This year saw a juggernaut arrive with a jetpack strapped to its back... Jetpack Joyride.

Jetpack Joyride is touted by many as being another entry into the "running man" genre of games... you know the ones, like Canabalt and Solipskier, where you have to head from left to right as far as possible, before some obstacle or other brings everything to a crashing halt. It's a very popular game style on the iPhone, probably because such games are very easy to play. However, it's actually more like those old Flash "copter" games that were all the rage years ago.

Oh yeah, baby... now we're rollin'!

Any game is only as good as its hero. Luckily, Jetpack Joyride has one of the best heroes in modern gaming... a man going by the extraordinary name of Barry Steakfries.

The name may be ringing a bell with you at this point... that's probably because he's been seen before. In fact, he's a recurring character in developer Halfbrick Studio's games. And why wouldn't he be? You can't go throwing away a character like Barry Steakfries!

Ooh, they look hot. Better keep away.

What of the game, though? What makes it any better, different, any more worth playing, than the games I've already mentioned? Well, obviously the jetpack gives it a different mechanic, for starters. Running and jumping has a certain feel to it. Flying a jetpack is completely different, and takes some adjustment (unless you're still hooked on copter games, that is).

Fortunately, flying a jetpack is also great fun, especially when it fires bullets at the ground. This might not be as much fun for the scientists that are running about, but they're all expendable commodities in the quest to, ummm, get as far as you can whilst wearing a jetpack.

Have you met my friend? He's called Mr. Cuddles.

This quest has its rewards, though, in the form of... goooooold. Shiny gold coins, in fact, which are suspended in mid-air, ripe for collection. These come in handy because, when you're inevitably brought sliding on your chin to a bitter end, you'll be dumped back to the start, and to the in-game shop. That's where you can go a-spendin' all your lovely coins.

This is where a large part of the game's appeal lies. You can buy all sorts of stuff in the shop, from new outfits to improved jetpacks to vehicle upgrades to missions. Hang on a minute... vehicle upgrades?

Rat-a-tat, rat-a-tat. Haha, see those scientists run!

Oh yes, I almost forgot... at points throughout the game you can pick up a vehicle to help speed you on your way. These include the Bad As(?) Hog, a Harley-type motorbike that's cool as hell, to a crazy freakin' teleporter that's, well, a bit rubbish really, to Mr. Cuddles, a giant robot dragon. These things are great, but in reality they only offer you a limited amount of protection.

You see, this being a top secret lab, they have deterrents against thieves, and those deterrents come in the form of lasers. Giant, powerful lasers that, much like the lovely gold coins, are suspended throughout the complex. One hit is enough to see you brought to a halt, which is why it's important to pick up a vehicle and stay with it. Because if you hit a laser, it's the vehicle that gets destroyed, and not you. Quite important, that.

Barry Steakfries, lying dead, coz he landed on his head.

When you do eventually come to an unfortunate demise, it's not necessarily game over. If you've picked up a Spin Token, a floating 'X' that you might see through the game, you'll get to play a fruit machine. Prizes range from coins to an explosion which will propel you a bit further to a second chance to, well, nothing. And you know which of those you'll win most often.

Jetpack Joyride is a very polished game, but that's only ever half the battle with a game. Most importantly, it's great fun, and it's nailed that crucial "just one more go" factor. It's a game that you'll keep on your phone or Touch, because you never know when you'll fancy another crack at it... you just know that you WILL fancy another crack at it. It's inevitable. Also, at the moment, the game is free. You know what to do.

Top 11 of '11 (iOS). Number 4 - Forget-Me-Not.

2012-01-08T00:26:00.009Z

Of all my top 11 iOS games of the year, if there was one I might have left out, it would have been Forget-Me-Not. And yet, it sits at number four. So why would I have left it out? Quite simply, because I'm rubbish at it...

On reflection, though, lack of ability is not a reason to penalise a game. Especially not when it's as good as Forget-Me-Not.

It would be easy to give Forget-Me-Not a couple of goes, dismiss it as too hard and never touch it again. Because although it looks like a simple old 80s arcade game, there's a surprising amount of depth to it, and it takes a fair amount of play and perseverance to go beyond merely scratching the surface.

Waka-waka...what?

Forget-Me-Not sees you placed in a series of randomly-generated mazes. Each maze is filled with flowers, which you must collect. Once you have all the flowers, a portal is opened which enables you to progress. But to open the portal, you must have the key...

That's not so difficult, the key is openly on display at the start of every level. All you need to do is pick it up. The only slight problem is that each maze is inhabited by various critters, and they all want that key, too...

Fortunately, you're armed, and with your constantly firing weapon, most creatures can be dispatched reasonably quickly and painlessly. Or rather, they can be if you've got a long corridor and some distance between you. Less fortunately, many of the mazes are quite cramped and twisty, and if you get jammed in you're liable to take some damage.

Hey, cool! I can explore AND get my five a day!

It's possible to repair your damaged health. Well, apparently it is, anyway. Shooting a critter leaves behind a mountain of fruit, which can be picked up... but only for points. To gain health, you must find a green potion. I've never found one yet! I've found a red one... that gives your shots extra power for a time, which is handy. But the green potion remains a mystery to me.

The game has many other subtleties and features, too. For instance, "grinding" along walls builds up a resistance to collisions, although this lasts for a very limited time. It's like a friction-powered shield. Too much of a good thing is bad for you, though, and if you grind too long you'll explode!

Another interesting gameplay feature is that bullets will wrap around corridors and you can damage yourself, but if you have the key, this will block bullets. Of course, those sneaky enemies might steal the key from you, and then you're in even more trouble.

Use keys to open doors. Mazes come in many shapes and sizes.

I hate to throw any negatives into the mix, but there are people out there that aren't keen on the game's swipe controls. Personally I think they're fine, although I've had a couple of moments where I haven't turned when I've wanted to. But it never results in insta-death, and I still think it's better than having a joystick on the screen, so you have to take as you find.

For such a simple game, it could take you a long time to figure out Forget-Me-Not's complexities. That's certainly been the case with me. But it hasn't been for the want of trying. If you'd walked into an arcade in the early Eighties, Forget-Me-Not could have stood proudly among cabinets such as PacMan, Amidar and Tutankham... games that are all brought to mind whilst playing. But that's not to say Forget-Me-Not is dated... it's a great addition to any iDevice. If you like the sound of it, it's available for the princely sum of £1.49.

Top 11 of '11 (iOS). Number 5 - Hard Lines.

2012-01-07T22:32:00.007Z

There are so many games released on the App Store these days that if you haven't got a big name or publisher behind you, it must be a bit of a nightmare to get noticed. It seems to take a fair amount of luck, or maybe being in the right place at the right time. Occasionally, though, just having an excellent game is enough.

Hard Lines is an excellent game. It's another very simple affair, at least on paper, although a number of variations give it masses of longevity. Hard Lines is a cross between the classic Snake game, and the light cycles from Tron. That might sound a bit dull, but this game has tons of personality...

Nice to see Al Pacino made his way in here...

You might wonder how a game featuring a few coloured lines can have any personality, but you just play it and you'll see. Every snakey-Tron-type-line-thing that comes on screen "says" something, and almost every line is either funny or geeky enough to get you grinning.

There are six game modes in Hard Lines. You get the classic Snake, where the more you eat, the bigger you get. That can go on a bit, so to stop you from getting bored, your snake tells jokes on the way around. It's quite bizarre, but I can no longer imagine playing a snake game without it.

I'm sorry to hear that. Soon, I'll make you dead.

There's a Survival mode, which is self-explanatory. DeadLine is a mode where you have three minutes to score as highly as you can. This mode forces you to be more aggressive in the pursuit of high scores. Time Attack puts fifteen seconds on the clock, and you have to pick up the dots to add time. Other snakes roam the arena though, trying to force you away. It's a really tough challenge, and a welcome addition.

The other modes are Gauntlet, where other snakes are constantly teeming onto the screen. There's not much room for manoeuvre here, and it's only a matter of time before you're boxed in and killed. The final mode is Pinata, where you must "Kill them all and NOM their entrails. KILL THEM!". Killing a snake leaves behind a trail of dots which should be eaten (picked up) for points. You need to be alert if you want to score highly... any killed snake leaves its bits behind, whether you've killed it or another snake did, so be ready to swoop in and pick them up.

No. You're not. Trust me.

Hard Lines could have failed in so many ways. It could have been dull, for starters, but it plainly isn't. It could have played horribly, especially on a touch screen, but the swipe controls work tremendously well. The six game modes are all enjoyable in their own right. Some modes last longer than others, so you can pick and choose depending on how much time you've got available.

It just goes to show that you don't always need an original concept. If you can take something that's been done to death and give it a twist or a real shot in the arm, then people will go for it. Hard Lines is the best Snake game there has ever been. It might even be the best six Snake games there have ever been. I bought it for 69p, but at the time of writing it's free. Free. Go and get it.

Top 11 of '11 (iOS). Number 6 - X-Baseball.

2012-01-07T11:20:00.006Z

And now, from the sublime to the ridiculous. Or rather, from a wonder of modern technology (Bug Princess) to the height of simplicity. My number six iOS game of 2011 is X-Baseball.

Baseball. America's game. Nine men on each side, taking turns to try and belt a ball out of the stadium. Trying to outwit them is the pitcher, standing atop his mound with his array of different throws. It's a classic strategic battle.

That one might be sailing for the fences, but the pitcher's already winding up another...

X-Baseball distills the battle considerably, and instead makes arguably the most addictive time-killer I've played all year. It's unquestionably the simplest. Many's the time a game's controls have been whinged about as too complicated or unresponsive. I don't care how picky you are, you can't say that about X-Baseball. All you do is tap the screen to swing the bat.

It's not exactly a reaction test game... X-Baseball presents you with a side view of proceedings, where you, as the batter, must hit every ball that's pitched at you. It sounds simple, and really, it should be. But you'd be amazed at how easy it is to lose concentration and miss.

And that's a birdie. Oh, wait... wrong sport.

As you probably know, in baseball it's three strikes and you're out. X-Baseball is a little more generous than that. If your strike count reaches three, you are indeed out, and it's game over. Luckily, someone is on your side. Every so often, after you've had a strike, one of your fans in the crowd will throw you a bunch of bananas. If you manage to hit the bananas, a strike is wiped from your count.

X-Baseball is not a game where you score home runs, or in fact any kind of runs, actually. Instead, you score points for successful hits, with the value depending on your timing. That makes X-Baseball a very addictive high score game, too. And there are other ways to get points. Various things will fly overhead during the course of the game... birds at first, but don't be surprised to see men wearing jetpacks and even UFOs if you get far enough. Hitting any of these with the ball will net you bonus points. I love this, it reminds me of arcade games like Track and Field.

OK, this seems like a bit of a mis-match.

If you survive long enough, the starting pitcher will get worn out, at which point a replacement is brought in. Unfortunately, the replacement is a massive gorilla looking not unlike a purple Donkey Kong, and he puts some real oomph into his pitches. It ramps the difficulty up a fair bit, and if the game was quite frantic before, it's quite mad by this point.

For a baseball game stripped of so many of the game's characteristics, XLarge have really knocked it out of the park with X-Baseball. It can be maddeningly addictive (or frustratingly addictive, depending on how badly you do), and games don't last very long, so if you're hanging around waiting for a lift or something, this fills your time in perfectly. It's not the best game ever, but I've been thoroughly hooked since I downloaded it, and that's what's important with a game. X-Baseball is free, so there's no reason why this shouldn't occupy 2.4MB of your iThing's memory, whether you like baseball or not.

Top 11 of '11 (iOS). Number 7 - Bug Princess.

2012-01-05T17:45:00.006Z

I love a good shoot 'em up. Didn't I just say that? Oh well. One of the premier exponents of the shmup is Japanese company Cave, who have given us some of the craziest, most eye-wateringly difficult shooters of all-time. And yet, despite the difficulty levels, they remain fun and playable, which means that every new Cave release is awaited with some anticipation.

Recently, Cave have turned their attentions toward the iPhone. It sounds ridiculous, even attempting to shoehorn arcade machines featuring a million bullets per minute onto a screen the size of a large stamp, but that's what they've done. What's more, they've done it with aplomb.

Scream! It's The Beetles!

Bug Princess, which you might have expected to be called Mushihime-sama if you have any knowledge of Cave games, is their "latest" offering, although it's a conversion of an arcade game from 2004. Have any of you played it? I haven't, but I'd love to see a Cave arcade machine.

Arcade shoot 'em ups have moved on a bit from when I were a lad. Back in the day, you were more likely to die from being rammed by an enemy craft, and you'd have done very well to score 200,000 points. Now, especially with Cave games, you'll die after being hit by bullets. That's guaranteed. However, when you die, you will very probably have many millions of points. That's a trade-off against the difficulty... at least you're rewarded for your pain.

Hmmm. I normally like lobster.

There's a bit of a story, but all you need to know is that you fly up the screen shooting bugs, insects, arachnids, arthropods... all manner of creepy-crawlies. And they in turn will shoot you. I'm not kidding. They'll spew out so many purple projectiles that you won't see right for hours after you've finished playing.

Weaving a path through these is the main skill you'll need. The game shoots automatically on your behalf, leaving you to concentrate on squeezing through minute gaps. You'd think that might be a problem on a telephone, but it's a testament to Cave's designers that it's not just possible, but extremely do-able. In fact, I managed to 1CC the game on the Original mode... something I've never done on any other game like this.

Don't buy this game if you can't bear to look at insects. Or purple.

You might think that this game must be too easy, then, but the Original mode is just a prelude to the main game. Complete it, and you'll unlock Maniac mode, and then there's the Ultra mode to go for. These modes ramp things up considerably, being more difficult (obviously), but they also introduce new gameplay mechanics... chaining comes into play, giving you the chance to get much, much higher scores.

Bug Princess is an absolute joy to play. I find myself surprised to say that, but it's a true wonder of modern technology. Being able to successfully navigate streams of laser death using just your fingertip on such a small screen should be nigh-on impossible, but it's intuitive, straightforward and totally painless. If you have any lovefor arcade shoot 'em ups, you owe it to yourself to get this (if your iThing supports it)... with the varying difficulty levels, there's something for everyone.

Bug Princess is £2.99 at the time of writing.

Top 11 of '11 (iOS). Number 8 - Monsters Ate My Condo.

2012-01-04T15:56:00.004Z

Monsters Ate My Condo is brought to us by Adult Swim games, and is copyright of The Cartoon Network. I am forty years old and not cool, so I don't know what Adult Swim is. But it must be alright if it can give us a game like Monsters Ate My Condo.

You're possibly wondering what the hell I'm talking about. Monsters Ate My Condo is actually a match-three game. But it's almost certainly the most mental match-three game you'll ever play.

I love match-three games. This is strange, because I'm generally almost allergic to puzzle games, which is how the match-three game is generally categorised. But, if done well and with a twist, I find them tremendously enjoyable. Among my favourite match-three games are Puzzle Quest and Zookeeper, both fantastic examples which stray from the path of the mundane and liven up the formula with their particular takes.

Waaa-haa-haaaa!!! Where's me money?

Monsters Ate My Condo is very unusual, in that you have to match three within just one column. Usually, a game will have its pieces laid out across a grid for you to do your tile/jewel/animal-swapping. This game gives you one big tower of condominiums to match.

It's as odd as it sounds. As the condos drop from the sky, monsters stand on either side, dancing, grinning and looking ridiculous. One of them looks a bit like Eugene Krabs. I like that one.

There are four monsters in total, and each is a different colour. Conveniently, the condos come in four different colours. And, get this, those four colours are the same colours as the monsters! You'd never have guessed that, would you?

If you have to feed a monster, feed him properly. Or give him Chewits.

Your goal is to make blocks of three or more condos of the same colour. Do that, and the set of matching coloured combos will disappear. Not only that, but if a monster of the same colour is on screen, it will step aside and be replaced by one of the other monsters.

This adds a bit of extra strategy to the game. To play the game, you have to swipe out condos that impede your progress. Swipe a condo block to its like-coloured monster, and you'll make it happy. Feed it a block of the wrong colour, though, and it'll get mad. Too many wrong colours and it'll attack your tower, making it imbalanced. And if the tower topples over, your game is over.

Matching three or more doesn't just get rid of those blocks, it will also re-stabilise your tower. So it's important to give yourself as many opportunities as possible. Having said that, it's possible to manually pull the blocks, Jenga-style, back into place without actually swiping them out. It's just a bit fiddly... you might as well swipe it into a monster's gaping maw.

Looks like things are going great, considering!

This all sounds terribly easy, but of course, obstacles pop up as you progress. Concrete blocks will fall into the tower, and these can't be matched with anything. They don't cause any harm, they're merely an obstruction... but you'll want them out of the way. Create a block of three or more on or around it to get rid of it.

Of more concern is the flaming condo. This one will explode when a timer runs down, so you'll have to move fast to erase this threat. Again, you need to match three or more on or around it, but be quick about it!

There's so much going on in Monsters Ate My Condo, I could write for ages. But that's a waste of playing time. You can level up, which means your tower grows higher. You can create bronze, silver, gold and diamond condos, which are worth more points and which power up the monsters for a time, activating their special abilities.

Or rather, they were. Oh well, time to start again...

Games can last a long time, so unlike previous entries in this list, it's not necessarily great for killing five minutes. You could always pause it, I suppose. If you like high scores though, this could be your game... get good enough, and you can score BIIIIILLLLIIIOOOOONS!

Monsters Ate My Condo is really good. It takes the match-three game in a different direction, and throws in a large amount of the silly. It's a combination that works tremendously well, and has had me addicted since I bought it. It could do the same for you, especially as the universal app is just 69p. If you've got any liking for matching three of anything, Monsters Ate My Condo should be right up your apartment block.

Top 11 of '11 (iOS). Number 9 - PicoPicoFighters.

2012-01-04T00:59:00.009Z

If you've been reading my ramblings for any length of time, you'll know that I love a good arcade shooter. I cut my gaming teeth on Galaxian, and since then have always gravitated towards shooty games.

I probably wouldn't have heard of PicoPicoFighters if it hadn't been for Stuart Campbell's short-lived but superb Free App Hero. Then again, a trawl through a few of my friends' Game Center records would have seen me stumble upon it, but let's pretend we don't have such conveniences...

Peeow! Peeow! Die, blue alien things!

PicoPicoFighters looks almost exactly like an arcade game circa 1984. If that's not enough to get you interested, I don't know what is. It's about as simple as vertically-scrolling shoot 'em ups get. There's no storyline whatsoever, which is great... who wants some dopey backstory getting in the way of proceedings?

There are four stages in PicoPicoFighters - that's yer lot. You know what, though? It's plenty. It'll be some time before you've seen all four. In fact, it'll probably be some time before you've scored 10,000 points. Getting through them in one go will take some doing... thoughtfully, the developers have made them selectable (unlockable).

You're not the boss of me.

Controls-wise, this is not one of those games that's saddled with a fixed on-screen joystick and fire button. Instead, you draw your way around the screen. You have free reign to move wherever you wish, by dragging your finger wherever you need to go.

That's probably the best way to go here, but unfortunately, it's the game's one slight failing. Your ship is small, and it's quite easy for it to get lost underneath your finger, meaning that negotiating the hail of bullets and enemy craft can, at times, be more luck than judgement.

Alright, things could be about to get a bit hairy...

Still, it's a small flaw and to be honest, it's not something that has caused me too many problems in playing the game. It's a real rush when you make it through a particularly difficult section, even if there's not much time for respite. Levels are short, but bastard hard, which makes it great for killing off a few spare minutes. I love a good shoot 'em up, and PicoPicoFighters is one.

Oh... PicoPicoFighters is free!

Top 11 of '11 (iOS). Number 10 - Groove Coaster.

2012-01-03T13:59:00.013Z

I'm a bit of a sucker for music/rhythm games. Frequency, Amplitude, Guitar Hero, Rock Band, Rez, Child of Eden (yes, I count those last two)... all have provided me with hours of good times. So when I heard of one hitting the iPhone from the creator of the excellent Space Invaders Infinity Gene, I was sold.

If any of you played Space Invaders Infinity Gene (and I'm sure that plenty of you did), then you'll know that it took the basic idea of Spacies and twisted it into something barely recognisable but brilliant. Groove Coaster didn't have the advantage of a classic framework to build on... so exactly what kind of game would it be?

You know what? You're right. I am cool.

It turns out that Groove Coaster is exactly what the name implies. Your avatar rides along a crazy track, looping and swooping in time to the music. At key points on the track, you have to tap the screen in time with the tune. Every time you're successful, you build and add to a chain, with perfect timing giving you a higher score. Miss a beat, and the chain is broken. Bye-bye, high score and S-Ranking!

So, Groove Coaster is a very simple game. But there's a lot to it, in the form of unlockables. For starters, each level has to be unlocked in turn. That's not exactly a problem or a hardship, by the way... it's just a natural progression. However; you can only play a level on Easy difficulty on your first attempt... there are Normal and Hard difficulty levels to be unlocked for every track.

Space. Invaded.

Even completing a level doesn't mean you've done the best you can. Sneakily, the game has thrown in the ability to "ad-lib", an idea which has been pinched from Rock Band's "Freestyle" mode, unless I'm mistaken. To fully capitalise on this, you're going to need to have an understanding of the music, and of its beat. From this, you should be able to guess the points where extra notes could fit. Find them, and maximise your score. Guess wrong, and you could break your chain...

This adds an element of risk/reward to the game, although I'm not sure if I'm entirely comfortable with it. On the other hand, the game might be too easy without these... it's much harder to account for a player's timing issues when all the plyer has to do is tap the screen at the prompt (as opposed to "playing" the notes on plastic instruments).

Groove is in the heart.

As of the most recent update, the games has around twenty tunes, and with a minimum of three playthroughs of each one purely to complete every level, there's a good amount of game here. Even better, each level is short. That means that nothing outstays its welcome, and it's perfect for bite-sized, time-killer gaming. And the high-score element means you're always likely to want that elusive "one more go" that games developers are dying for you to need.

Groove Coaster is a lot more fun than it might have been. It has the odd frustration... occasionally, the shape of the coaster tricks you into thinking there's a beat when there isn't, and your chain is ruined. But even that can be overcome with experience. With high scores to be obtained for every level, avatars and skins to be unlocked and different difficulty levels to be beaten, this is a quality release. As of writing, Groove Coaster is 69p on iPhone/iPod Touch, and it's also 69p on the iPad. I think it's well worth that asking price.

Top 11 of '11 (iOS). Number 11 - Space Junk.

2012-01-02T22:12:00.005Z

OK, I'll be honest... this one only sneaked in because I used the year as an excuse to make a bigger list. What can I say? It was really hard, cutting out over a dozen good candidates!

Space Junk only came to my attention fairly recently, but in that short time I've been quite hooked on it. And that's strange, because Space Junk is pretty much an Asteroids clone, and I don't like Asteroids...

Look! Space shuttles! Really!

My problem with Asteroids, I think, stems from the way all the controls are accessed via buttons. So rotating the ship is done with your left hand and everything else (firing, thrusting, hyperspace) with your right. For me, that was a bit like trying to pat my head whilst rubbing my belly. I was rubbish at it.

Space Junk is similar, but instead of a ship you control a jetpack-clad spaceman. I don't know why that feels better to me, but it does. Perhaps the control scheme, which features the tried, tested but not always working on-screen disc for movement, plus buttons, helps. It's very easy to spin your spaceman around quickly to deal with any dangerous space debris. Better than using left and right buttons, that's for sure.

I'm not surprised the ice caps are melting. That sun's blinding!

I always found Asteroids' rotation too slow. This method, for me, makes the game a lot more playable for instant arcade fun. When you die in Space Junk, it's much more likely that it was your own stupid fault, and not the limitations of the game or interface. That's important.

Another plus point is that you can choose the orientation of the screen. For me, it works better in landscape mode, but it feels a bit more Asteroids-like in portrait mode. A lot of games force you to play in one orientation... I appreciate having the choice.

For some reason, I feel a little taller...

Space Junk looks very nice too, like it could be a genuine vector graphics arcade machine. It's more colourful than the majority of those old vector machines, and I presume it's a simulation of vectors, but it's pin-sharp and a real retro treat for the eyes, although you could be forgiven for thinking otherwise from these pictures!

I've been very impressed with Space Junk... it scratches my arcade shoot 'em up itch quite nicely. There's a choice of game modes... eventually... you have to unlock the others, which is plenty of incentive to play the game even more. I'd certainly recommend this to anyone that frequented an arcade in the late seventies/early eighties. It's currently £1.49 from the App Store on the iPhone and iPod Touch and on the iPad, which is fifteen tens in arcade money. You should easily get your money's worth out of that.

Top 11 of '11 - the iOS version. Introduction.

2012-01-02T16:57:00.006Z

I was never all that bothered about iOS games. Yeah, I had an iPod Touch (1st Generation), and there were some nice little diversions on there, but nothing that really grabbed me enough to make me want to play for ages, or to come back to it repeatedly.

Mos Speedrun. Look, it's not you, it's me.

But as time passed, I found that more and more interesting-looking games were being released, games I actually wanted to play. So I tried to download a couple, only to find that they didn't support my ageing system. That was a bit annoying, but I wasn't buying a new iPod Touch just to play a couple of 59p games.

Time passed by, and my phone contract came up for renewal. I figured now was the time to combine my devices, and get myself an iPhone. Lovely. And I hadn't paid a fortune for it (although I will have done by the end of the contract, but that's another story...). Not only that, but an added by-product of upgrading was that I now had access to all those lovely-looking games I'd had my eye on. Excellent.

Magnetic Billiards: Blueprint. There's just not enough attraction.

I've taken full advantage of that in the past few months, to the point where I've had to narrow down my list of top iOS games of 2011 from 24 candidates! It was really hard to cut some of them out, too. I could have done a top twenty, but if you were reading last year, you'll know that it took me forever just to put my top ten games of the year onto "paper". So I've been cruel and ruthless, and heartlessly cast some aside.

It's at this point that I'll just mention that these are my favourite iOS games of the year, from those I've played. I'm not lucky enough to have access to games devs, so I have to pay for all my apps and games. Because of that, I haven't played stuff like Infinity Blade II, which I'm sure is spectacular but it's also a fiver, and I'm reluctant to spend that sort of cash on iPhone games. Call me crazy, but there you go.

Quarrel Deluxe. Look, I don't want this to turn into an argument.

What's missed the cut, then? Mos Speedrun, for one. It's very good, but I just didn't play it enough to warrant putting it in my top 11 of the year. I must make more of an effort with that one, though. Magnetic Billiards: Blueprint is another big-hitter that didn't make it. It's brilliantly well done, for sure, and I know many people that have got loads out of this game. But it's just not for me... my anti-puzzle brain couldn't grasp the complexities needed for massive scoring.

There were other worthy efforts, too. Ready Steady Bang is a game I played a fair bit, and got some great two-player laughs out of. But when it came to this list, there maybe wasn't quite enough to it. NBA Jam and Sonic & SEGA All-Stars Racing shoved true arcade and console quality into the palm of my hand... astonishing achievements, really. Zookeeper, a game which lit up my DS screens for months, did likewise with my iPhone. And for fans of word games, Quarrel Deluxe provided loads of board game-esque entertainment, and almost sneaked its way in at the last minute. Oh, and do you think I should play more of Tiny Tower?

NBA Jam. I think we can see where this is going.

So many good games, so few spaces on an end-of-year list. But I felt that the ones in the last couple of paragraphs deserved mentions. But now, with little further ado, I'll throw this post up to the masses and get to work on actual posts of substance... my top 11 iOS games of '11. I'll be interested to see what people think of this...

...and the winners are...

2011-12-31T16:09:00.003Z

Alright everyone, there's going to be a belated Christmas present coming to some of my readers. It would have been nice to have more people entering these giveaways, but not to worry. The aim, of course, is to have more people reading my blog. It would be nice to think I've at least accomplished that, heading into 2012, but I suppose the proof of the pudding will be in the stats. Erm... that doesn't really work, does it?

Enough idle banter... here are the winners!

The Mark of Kri - Tony Mansfield, if he wants it!
Rayman Forever – RetroWench
Hitman Trilogy – Shuyin
Alpha Protocol – Josiah Y
Sonic Generations – Bryony Ramsden
VVVVVV – nobody!
Grand Theft Autos – Bryony Ramsden
Oddboxx – gnome
Space Channel 5: Part 2 – Shuyin
Gaming Soundtracks – Nobody!
Psychonauts – Steve Morton
Indie Humble Bundle 4 - Ashcroft

Congratulations to all those above, and commiserations to those who missed out. If you didn't win anything, keep an eye on my Twitter feed... I may (will) be offering some consolation prizes in the next day or two...

Get in touch with me if you've won anything, I'll need details for sending out the prizes.

Happy New Year!

Games of the year?

2011-12-31T12:30:00.002Z

With 2012 just around the corner, the time has come for all self-respecting publications to consider, and then publish, their top games of 2011. And once they've done that, I'll have a go at mine. Just kidding! Ideally, I want to get my list up while 2011 still resides in the memory banks (and not in April, like I did last year...).

But what on Earth will go in there? 2011 was a fantastic year for games! I've played tons of top quality efforts in the last twelve months, so narrowing it down could prove to be very, very difficult (maybe it will be April when I'm finished, after all...).

I've made an early decision to produce two lists, one for iOS games and one for "proper" games. Which is not to diminish from the little uns... in fact, some of those games have been among my very favourites, with real imagination and joy to be had. No, this way I can include more! Yeah, it's a bit of fence-sitting, but I just can't see any way to do a top ten otherwise. Unless I do a top twelve... or a top twenty... or... GAH!

Oh well, we'll see what I come up with in the fullness of time. In the meantime, enter my giveaways (if you read this in time), have a great New Year and I'll see you back here very soon!

On the twelfth day of Christmas, A Gamer Forever Voyaging gave to me... twelve indie crackers!

2011-12-29T17:49:00.006Z

This is a biggie.

I'll say it again.

This. Is. A. Biggie.

The last giveaway of my Twelve Games of Christmas is... the Indie Humble Bundle 4!

The Humble Bundles are magnificent affairs, whereby some of the finest indie games developers get together and sell off their games on the cheap, in the name of charity. So we get loads of good stuff to play, and charities get a stack of cash. Everybody wins! Erm... except for the devs... although I suppose they get to feel all warm and fuzzy at the good deed they're doing. Well done, indie devs!

Now then, I paid more than the average price for this gift bundle, because I'm such a giving soul. So what does that mean you'll be getting, if you win? Well, you'll be getting these games:

Gratuitous Space Battles
Cave Story+
Jamestown
Bit.Trip Runner
Super Meat Boy
Shank
NightSky HD
Crayon Physics Deluxe
Cogs
VVVVVV
Hammerfight
And Yet It Moves

Not only that, you'll be getting the soundtracks to all of them as well! That's just flippin' awesome.

So come on, enter this one. You'll get stacks of fun out of it if you win, and it's all for a good cause! Just post a link to this article somewhere appropriate... go on, give it a good plug! Then post a comment in here telling me what you've done, and you'll be in with a chance of winning a dozen great games and their soundtracks! It's worth it just for Jamestown if you ask me, that's brilliant, but there's not a duffer on here and most games are superb. Enter! Now!

On the eleventh day of Christmas, A Gamer Forever Voyaging gave to me... nauts that are psyching?

2011-12-29T17:48:00.005Z

I was going to give away some kind of Pipemania game today, but I couldn't find one that wasn't on an emulator. So instead, I'm just going to give away something excellent! And that excellent game would be... Psychonauts!

Awwwww! How cute?

I first played Psychonauts... right when it came out, actually. In fact, I wrote a short review of it for excellent-but-resting-indefinitely games mag, Way of the Rodent. That was when I was living in America, so I've been a fan of this game for a long time.

Age hasn't diminished it any, it's still great. It's a platform adventure of the most imaginative kind. You play Raz, a kid who has run away from his life in the circus (hang on, don't you usually run away to join the circus?) to join a psychic summer camp.

Yeeeah, He doesn't look mental, at all...

Unfortunately for Raz, the camp only allows students that they have recruited, so-called "Psychonauts", so once he's there, the camp leaders phone his parents to come and collect him. Hang on, what? They do, though, realise the Force is strong with this one, and allow him to stay and take part in some of the camp's gentler activities.

That's when the game goes around the bend. The actual camp just acts as kind of a hub. The real levels of the game are like nothing else you've played... As a psychic wunderkind, you have the power to enter other peoples' minds! And this, you must and will do.

Christ. He'd need a lot of Fairy Liquid.

These levels and boss battles are spectacularly imaginative and brilliantly warped, providing an incredible insight into the game's characters... and, I suspect, the designers! You'd probably expect nothing less from the mind behind the likes of Grim Fandango, but it's really quite mental and has to be experienced to be believed. And you can experience it, as I'm giving away a copy on Steam!

Here's the scoop: post a link to this write-up somewhere appropriate, then post a comment here telling me what you've done. That'll put you in the draw. Good luck!

On the tenth day of Christmas, A Gamer Forever Voyaging gave to me... ten gaming soundtracks...

2011-12-29T17:37:00.006Z

This giveaway is a little bit different. Rather than give away games, I'm giving away their soundtracks. Now, I could have just ripped a few MP3s and e-mailed you Rob Hubbard's Greatest Hits (which would have been awesome), but I'm above that. Instead, I've got you ten complete albums... soundtracks from some of indie gaming's best!

There are tunes here from the likes of... Super Meat Boy! Minecraft! VVVVVV! And a few others besides. You could spice up the MP3 player of your choice to no end, by adding some of your favourite recent gaming tunes. Or maybe even some stuff you've never heard of before.

This stuff is all DRM-free, and available to download as either 320kbps MP3s, or in FLAC format. So if you like the sound of that (see what I did there?), then all you have to do is publicise this blog/giveaway somewhere appropriate, and then post a comment here telling me where you've gone and sprayed my scent. Then you'll be in the hat! Easy!

On the ninth day of Christmas, A Gamer Forever Voyaging gave to me... all kinds of dancing...

2011-12-29T17:35:00.003Z

You won't find nine ladies dancing in this giveaway. There are some ladies dancing, and one in particular. And there are lots of aliens dancing, too. That's because today's Steam giveaway is Space Channel 5: Part 2!

This game is just the geekiest type of cool. It's so cool, it's not cool. Set 500 years into the future, you play sexy ace reporter Ulala, facing off against the Rhythm Rogues as they kidnap innocent people and force them to dance. The bastards! Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to dance the enemy off their feet and save the day... and get the best ratings you can while doing it!

Up, down, up, down, shoot! Shoot! Shoot!

It's a really strange game, truth be told, but very charming and great fun to play. It even features an appearance from "Space Michael", namely Michael Jackson, who was a renowned lover of video games, of course. And you wouldn't exactly see him as a character in a beat 'em up, would you?

There's not much more that needs to be said. It's a simple game, and a simple giveaway. Do the old "plugging this link in a relevant place" thing, post a comment here letting me know where you've done it, and you might need to get your dancing shoes on!

On the eighth day of Christmas, A Gamer Forever Voyaging gave to me... eight types of ammo...?

2011-12-29T17:15:00.007Z

Bit on the cryptic side, this one. There's not really any way you could guess what game features eight types of ammo. Or rather, there are probably loads that do, and it could be any of them. But come on, it's really hard to tie things into this!

Anyway, the game I'm thinking of in this instance is... Oddworld: Stranger's Wrath.

Yes, you can win the slightly strange Western-themed FPS classic! And not only that, because I'm nice, I'm actually giving away the Oddboxx - all the Oddworld games in one handy package (well, it's not really a package, it's a series of downloads on Steam). What a great collection of games!

It's an odd sort of place, this.

The first Oddworld game is Abe's Oddysee, which I distinctly remember playing on the Playstation. It's a side-scrolling platform game in which you, as Abe, must free enslaved creatures before they can be turned into food products at the factory where you work. It has to be said, one of the main reasons I was ever drawn to the game was its bizarre and somewhat dark storyline! Always did have a liking for the slightly twisted...

It's a lot of fun, with plenty of humour to lighten proceedings. This is welcome, because there are moments of frustration in the game. Still, it's well worth sticking it out till the end.

A bolt of lightning!

With Oddworld: Abe's Oddysee being so successful, a sequel was inevitable. Indeed, the path of Oddworld had been mapped out to include five games, right from the off. However, in a move that would cash in on Oddysee, a spin-off sequel was released that was not a part of the main storyline. That spin-off was called Oddworld: Abe's Exoddus.

Exoddus continues at the exact point where the first game finishes. This could be said about every aspect of the game... there's not a lot new there. It's a bit less frustrating, due to a newly-implemented save system, but other than that it's the same bizarre, tripped-out platforming goodness that the first game was full of. It's cracking old-school action.

Like a mouse on a wheel!

Not exactly hot on the heels of these two came the next Oddworld game... Munch's Oddysee. As you might have guessed, this introduced a new Oddworld character. It also introduced the 3D viewpoint that is the norm in most platformers nowadays (and was thenadays, too!). I haven't played this entry in the series, so I don't know what it's like. Critics weren't as keen on it, though, although it still managed to do reasonably well, scores-wise.

And so, finally, we come to the centrepiece of the collection - Stranger's Wrath. Which I haven't played yet. I really ought to... I know several people that highly rate it, with one fella rating it as his game of the year for 2005 (2005? Was it really as long ago as that?).

A man's got to know his limitations.

It's a hybrid of a game, featuring first-person shooting action and third-person platforming bits. It brings new meaning to the term "live ammunition"... the things you fire at enemies are actually living creatures! Any game that allows you to shoot wasps at things has to be worth playing.

There you go, then. Four classic games, one classic series. Yours for the taking. You probably know the drill by now, but if you don't... go and plug this post somewhere relevant, and then come back here and post a comment telling me where you've put it. That'll put you in the draw... go for it!

On the seventh day of Christmas, A Gamer Forever Voyaging gave to me... seven Grand Theft Autos.

2011-12-26T19:13:00.007Z

OK, as giveaways go, this one is pretty epic. Seven Grand Theft Autos? How much game is that? Enough to last you until next Christmas, if you're so inclined...

So, what the fuck is in this fucking Grand Theft Fucking Auto giveaway, then? Here's what you can win:

You'll never catch me, coppers! Oh, wait...

Grand Theft Auto (the first one ever!).
Grand Theft Auto 2.
Grand Theft Auto III.
Grand Theft Auto: Vice City.
Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas.
Grand Theft Auto IV.
Grand Theft Auto: Episodes from Liberty City (GTA IV add-on comprising of The Lost & The Damned and The Ballad of Gay Tony).

See how fucking nice I am? Giving someone all that lot? That's not just a pile of fucking videogames, it's a fucking history lesson. And for nothing, too. Well, almost nothing... all it costs is a bit of spamming of this blog, somewhere on that there internet, and a post in the comments telling me where you've posted it. Easy. Oh, and you'll need Steam, too.

You're looking very earnest there. What?

I haven't played a lot of Grand Theft Auto, myself. I played the first one when it came out... I enjoyed the APB-style viewpoint, but I can't say I ever played it properly, instead finding great delight in just running people over. After that, I never really saw the appeal. I left GTA2 alone altogether. GTAIII, I bought on the PC. I did have a reasonable go at that, enjoying the free-roaming aspect of the city and the amusing radio stations.

Then came the real game-changer... Grand Theft Auto: Vice City. Seller of eleventy-billion copies, everyone's played it. Except me... I rented it from Blockbuster when I lived in the States, but the disc was scratched, and I only got five minutes into the game. They didn't have any more copies in when I took it back, and I've never bothered with it since. Sacrilege!

I'll be honest, I have no idea what's going on here. But I like it.

Not only that, but I've never played San Andreas at all. I think just about every friend I have has raved about it, but it's never appealed to me at all. Someone's going to have to try and talk me into it at some point, but nothing about that game grabs me. I'm really selling this giveaway, aren't I?

When GTA IV came out, I took the day off work. I got an early bus to town, stood outside Woolworths with a couple of other likely fellows, and bought it as soon as the shop opened. I savoured the opening sequence, took time to familiarise myself with the controls and the city, sat in my apartment watching the telly (hilarious stuff).

I love a bit of California Games...

Once I started to actually play, I did really enjoy it... it was worth taking the day off for. Until the point where I missed a mission trigger, that is. Then, I spent three hours wandering around with nothing happening. And you know what? Those three hours killed the game for me. Once I realised what had happened, my enthusiasm for the game had gone, and it didn't come back. What a shame.

Still, it's an epic, alright. And with two highly-rated add-on packs coming with it (highly-rated by one of my mates, anyway... he loved them), there's a ton of gaming to be had. I actually own those add-ons on the 360... I do feel like getting back into GTA IV.

Shefki Kuqi was growing increasingly frustrated at his lack of first-team opportunities.

I can't imagine there are many people out there that don't own at least one Grand Theft Auto game. So the chances are that if you enter this giveaway, you're going to be duplicating something. Not to worry though... when you're getting it gratis, that's a nice problem to have. Want a shot at winning? Just post a link to this blog entry somewhere, then post in the comments, letting me know where. Make sure it's a gaming-related place where you plug it though (or Twitter)... there's not much point putting it on Alan Titchmarsh's forum. Cheers, and good luck!

On the sixth day of Christmas, A Gamer Forever Voyaging gave to me... six Vs a-slaying.

2011-12-26T18:37:00.004Z

Hey! Whaddya know? I'm revisiting another game! And this time, it's the rather wonderful VVVVVV.

I've actually written about this twice before... the first time was on 28th March 2010, which was when I first played the game. Wow. Was it really as long ago as that? The second time was when it made it into my top 10 games of 2010. It really is that good.

Because it's Christmas, I'll be nice and not show any spikes.

There's not much I can say about VVVVVV that I haven't said in those two earlier posts. Run around a spaceship full of spikes to try and rescue your crew. You can't jump, though. You can flip gravity, which is your jumping alternative. And you'll die a lot. That's the game, right there.

As if it didn't sound old-school-awesome enough, it's very Commodore 64-ish in style, so if you had a beige breadbin in your youth and don't own this game already (and are a Steam user), post a link to this giveaway somewhere, then post in here telling me where you've done the deed. That'll give you a chance to win the magnificent VVVVVV!

On the fifth day of Christmas, A Gamer Forever Voyaging gave to me... five (thousand) gold rings...

2011-12-26T18:35:00.005Z

Alright, I haven't played this game. I've played the demo on the 360, which had some very nice graphics (maybe too nice...) and whizzed around at a fair old rate. And I bought the 360 version for my nephew, on the 360. Hang on a minute, what am I talking about? Why, Sonic Generations, of course!

Ring-a-ding-ding! Sonic does what he loves best.

That's right, you can win yourself a PC copy of the latest Sonic the Hedgehog game (on Steam)! And what's more, by all accounts, it isn't shit! So it must be well worth your while getting hold of this one.

Anyway, it sounds like fairly typical Sonic fare, but with a few twists along the way. Race at breakneck speeds through familiar and unfamiliar landscapes, collect gold rings, jump on robot heads, battle bosses. That's how it's been for 20 years, and it's been massively successful (commercially, although not always critically). You wouldn't expect it to change, but at least they try to freshen it up on the new consoles.

Neeeeeeeooooownnnnnng! This thing really moves!

So, are you a Sonic fan? Do you want this game? It's averaging 82 on Metacritic, which ain't bad at all. Why not post in here to discuss Sonic the Hedgehog in general? And then, enter the giveaway... spam this giveaway in an appropriate gaming place, and then let me know in here where you've done the deed. Once you've followed those steps, you're in with a shout!

On the fourth day of Christmas, A Gamer Forever Voyaging gave to me... four calling birds?

2011-12-26T18:34:00.006Z

When I first started this blog, I had the intention of occasionally going back to a game I'd written about, revisiting it and posting my thoughts on the game once I'd completing it. You know how many times I've done that so far? None. Not once. I might have written about a game more than once, but not in a retrospective manner. But that's changing today.

Aaahhh... there's nothing like a warming winter fire.

The game I'm giving away today is Alpha Protocol, a game I first played on the XBox 360 and first wrote about on August 15, 2010. I really enjoyed it then, and fully expected to play it to completion... but then, as usual, I was distracted by the shiny and the new, and Alpha Protocol was put on the back burner.

Something about it kept jabbing away at my brain, though, and I kept getting the urge to play it. And so I would, for an hour or so, making a little progress and then putting it away again. It's not the ideal way to play any game, especially one that's so heavily story-oriented. And then, last month, I started it up yet again, but got hooked enough to get to the end.

Something tells me she could be a bit of a... pistol? Does it look like she's got nice... guns? Austin Powers has got nothing on me.

Alpha Protocol is billed as "The Espionage RPG". And indeed, there's an element of role-playing to it, with you earning points so that you can level-up your skills throughout the game. Depending on what you choose to improve, you can either be a suave and sophisticated ladies' man, with a silver tongue and smooth-as-silk stealthy movement. Or you can be a brutal crack-shot agent, with awesome hand-to-hand skills to match.

A lot of people online complained about the poor nature of the gunplay and the stealth in Alpha Protocol. And yes, initially, there's a fair bit lacking. The controls are woolly, aiming isn't especially accurate and there are frustrations in the way you're led down certain pathways, with scope for exploring levels pretty much eliminated.

Oh no! Such carnage! What a waste of arcade machines!

But if you persevere, you'll be rewarded. Many of these elements improve as your levelled-up abilities improve, making the game more fun to play. But that's only the half of it...

The real star of this game is the dialogue, or rather, the way the dialogue is handled. There's a lot of talking here, but it's all necessary, and it's done in a way that makes the game quite gripping. It's certainly more intriguing than your average game, I feel. There are many characters to interact with, and when talking with them, rather than give you a choice of lines to speak, you're given a choice of mannerisms. The way you respond determines your success.

Look at that expression. You'd think I'd come home at 4am with lipstick on my collar.

It could be disastrous, but it really works incredibly well. You have to get to know each character you're interacting with, so that you know how to stroke them in order to get what you want, or how to wind them up until they snap. And depending on how your interactions go, you might or might not open up other missions or opportunities.

I really feel that this is a brilliant engine, and although Alpha Protocol does have its share of gameplay weaknesses, it really is worth sticking with until the end. Not only that, I'm planning to replay it in a completely different way, to see how else it might play out. There won't be a sequel, but the premise and conversation system is so good it would be a real shame if it didn't get used again.

Surely if "Headslam" is an option, you'd use it every time?

You can see just what I'm talking about, if you own a PC and use Steam. I'm giving away a copy of Alpha Protocol on Steam. All you have to do is post a link to this piece somewhere appropriate (Twitter, gaming forum etc.), and add a comment here letting me know how you've plugged me, and you'll be in the draw. Good luck!

Oh... four calling birds? Well, there's an Achievement in the 360 version for "romancing" the four main female characters in the game. And as they call you regularly in the game... well, there you go!

On the fourth day of Christmas, Sky sent to me...

2011-12-26T18:20:00.002Z

... a plug.

My blog, and the giveaways, were derailed when my internet connection went up the Swanee on day four. After a couple of phone calls to Sky, my ISP, they said they would send me something in the post. I figured it would be a new router, but it turned out to be a plug for the router. I was a bit dubious, but whaddya know, it worked!

Internet connection restored, I can get on with the giveaways, but it's all out of sync now (and I wasn't doing any on Christmas Day, sorry!).

I've got some brilliant stuff to give away... well, I think it's brilliant. So please, to make it more fun, publicise it wherever you feel it's appropriate. That's your ticket to winning stuff anyway, so go for it!

On the third day of Christmas, A Gamer Forever Voyaging gave to me... three hitmen

2011-12-16T17:14:00.004Z

I'll be honest with you, Hitman was not a game that was on my radar when it was first released. The word "stealth" was tied heavily to it, and that's not usually a gaming trait that sits well with me. But my missus, believe it or not, quite fancied it, and so it was bought and installed on our PC. And whaddya know, I quite enjoyed it!

Hmmm. Could have done without seeing that.

I always found it a bit odd that you play a top-class stealthy assassin... with a big barcode tattooed on the back of his head. Surely that's just drawing attention to yourself? Grow some hair. Wear a hat. Wear a scarf. Anything that doesn't make you look so distinct... it's not exactly a common design, is it? I bet Sam Fisher hasn't got a barcode tattoo.

Anyway, the object of this game (and in fact, the series of games) is to take out a number of specified targets across the globe. It's alright, they're all evil... you're doing the world a favour, so you can sleep with a clear conscience.

There. Nobody will look twice at you now. Oh, wait...

I mentioned that stealth is a big part of the game, and that I'm not a stealth fan... perhaps the reason that I enjoyed Hitman is that you can (and should) also use disguises! I'm not exactly talking comedy moustaches and silly outfits here (but could it really be any worse that a barcode tattoo?)... instead, you can incapacitate citizens and take their clothes. In so doing, you blend in... as long as you don't do anything out of character for that outfit...

This is a really interesting aspect to the game, one that I found refreshingly different from the usual "hide in the shadows" guff. Couple this with what I thought was a genuinely interesting storyline, and it's easy to see why Hitman was, erm, a hit.

In a quiet moment, Agent 47 plays at being David Beckham.

There are new Hitman games on the way, but what better way to tide yourself over than with three, yes, THREE Hitman games for the PC? I'm giving away The Hitman Collection on Steam for one lucky reader. This includes Hitman: Codename 47, Hitman 2: Silent Assassin and Hitman: Blood Money. Not bad, for nothing! All you have to do is plug this blog somewhere appropriate (Twitter, your favourite gaming forum etc.), and then make a post here telling me where you spammed me, and you're in the draw! Good luck!

On the second day of Christmas, A Gamer Forever Voyaging gave to me... two Rayman gloves

2011-12-15T21:30:00.005Z

Recently, I've been playing the XBox 360 demo of Rayman Origins. It's lovely. Proper, old-school 2D platforming, with gorgeous graphics, great level design and lashings o'fun. I liked it so much, I've bought the game as a family Christmas treat.

Hey! Watch what you're doing with that thing!

But Christmas is still nearly two weeks away! What if I can't wait that long? Well, I could always head over to GOG.com, where it's possible to buy PC versions of the first three Rayman games!

The first game in the series was just called "Rayman", obviously enough, and was released on a number of formats. PC owners, though, saw a number of updates. Rayman Gold added a load of new levels, and then Rayman Forever was released, and that included fan-made levels alongside the content of Rayman Gold. Plenty of bang for your buck then... and that's the game I'm giving away this time.

The key to this lies in those white fists...

The plot of Rayman Forever sees you, looking like the weirdest snooker referee of all time, having to save your world. "What's wrong with it?", I hear you ask. Oh, the usual platform game stuff... an evil dark being has stolen the world's provider of harmony and balance! In so doing, he has allowed a range of freakish creatures to infiltrate the world, and they are capturing all the Electoons!

If this sounds bad, well, it is. It's all a bit nonsensical too, but that doesn't matter... all you need to know is you have to leap around gorgeous levels, rescuing some cute critters and smacking around some other cute critters. This is fairly simplistic to begin with, but you gain extra powers and abilities as you progress, making critter-smacking even more fun.

*whistle* Do you think if I ignore it, it'll go away?

Rayman Forever is a classic platformer, although there's not a lot in there that's new. In fact, it takes many of its ideas from existing classics (Ristar is one game that springs to mind... I think it's the hands...). It does, though, bundle those ideas together with wit and charm, and in doing so creates a classic game in its own right. It's well worth a few hours of your time, and of course, one of you can do it for free! Just post a link to this somewhere relevant (Twitter, gaming forum, wherever you hang out), and post a comment here telling me where you've posted it, and you'll be in the draw! Good luck!

On the first day of Christmas, A Gamer Forever Voyaging gave to me... A Game Called The Mark Of Kri.

2011-12-14T21:22:00.005Z

I'm too good to you lot. Last year, I did A Game A Day Advent Calendar, with a different game for each date in December. I loved the idea... but it was hard work, and really difficult to source games for every date! So I decided I couldn't do it again this year. The question was... what to do? Well, Christmas is a time of giving, so I'm going to give away games!

Loosely based on the Twelve Days of Christmas, there will be a range of items up for grabs, although mostly they'll be PC games, and most will require Steam. I hope that doesn't put too many off.

Awww, come on, ref, that must be a penalty!

OK, so having said all that, today's giveaway is a game that I suspect is a little bit underappreciated... The Mark of Kri on the PS2. I said "mostly" PC games, alright?

The Mark of Kri is a remarkable game. It was released quite early on in the PS2's life, and was a quite stunning looking affair, with some innovative gameplay. The story sees you as a hulking warrior who gets duped by some dodgy bloke into running an errand for him. When you get back from the errand, your home village has been destroyed and your sister kidnapped. You have no choice but to go and get her back... and this will mean killing those in your way.

Nothing like a good fight in the twilight.

The game looks fantastic, but it's the fighting system that really sets The Mark of Kri apart from the rest. Using your right stick, you can "sweep" the playing area, locking onto enemies before launching your attack. In this fashion, you can target your enemies more effectively, and you'll find yourself gracefully attacking the closest foe and then blocking an attack from the next in one fluid motion. It's quite glorious in execution, and makes the game great fun to play.

There are other elements here, too. Stealth plays a large part... despite your size, you can't just go blundering through the game. Sneaking up on enemies makes your task a little easier. It also looks better, as they're dispatched in surprisingly gory ways, for a cartoon animated game. You'll also learn to use new weapons, helping to keep the game fresh.

I think we all know what's going to happen here...

The Mark of Kri is a game I've enjoyed immensely over time, and now you can too. I'm giving away one (pre-owned) copy of The Mark of Kri. All you have to do to stand a chance of winning is to post a link to this article somewhere... anywhere. Twitter, your favourite gaming forum, wherever. Once that's done, post a comment here letting me know where you've spammed me, and you're in the draw! Yeah, it's a shameless attempt at getting more promotion for my blog. But at least my readers can get something out of it!

What's going on?

2011-11-26T15:40:00.003Z

Hey gang!

Bit quiet here at the moment, but plans are afoot...

Christmas is coming, and last year I did a Game A Day Advent Calendar. It was actually rock hard to do, and there's no chance of me doing it again this year. But what can I do instead? Well, I've decided to do The Twelve Games Of Christmas. And no, I'm not finding games that have partridges or lords a-leaping... I'll be giving away a game every day for twelve days in the run-up to Christmas!

I'm too good to you lot. Now, most of these games will be PC games, via Steam. Sorry if that rules you out, but there might be the occasional game (or maybe gaming-related item) that's on another format... Haven't decided how the giveaway will work yet, but it'll be based around getting more readers here and followers on Twitter, no doubt.

I've got more, too. Remember the Braybrook series? There's going to be something more based on that. I can't say what yet, and it's not all my own work, but I'm quite excited by it...

And then I'll be thinking about more things to do in the New Year. I'm thinking of doing something around boxing videogames, which could be interesting. There will be more videos, although don't expect commentary just yet... I tried it and it was very uncomfortable! What do you think? Is there anything you want to see me have a go at? All comments and suggestions are welcome...

DoDonPachi Resurrection Deluxe Edition (XBox 360)

2011-11-13T19:34:00.007Z

Oh boy, here we go again. Let the Japanese bullet hell madness recommence!

Rising Star Games are sticking their necks out for us European gamers, and are publishing some very niche titles from the country that specialises in niche titles - Japan. Last year, they published My number two game of 2010, Deadly Premonition. At the beginning of this year, they published a game I enjoyed very much, Deathsmiles. And now they've mined that very same vein, and published another Cave shooter... DoDonPachi Resurrection.

Awwww, look... an easy one. How nice.

I'll be honest... I was never a great fan of the DoDonPachi series of arcade games. I'm a simple man at heart, and I enjoy just flying up the screen, blasting whatever is in my way. DoDonPachi relies on chaining for the best scores, and I could never get the hang of it. It's not just that series, though... I'm rubbish at chaining on anything. That doesn't mean I didn't have at least a reasonable time... the sheer blasting potential means there's always some fun to be had in any game of this type.

It's not a genre that's heavily catered for these days, so even though I knew it would kick my arse to Kingdom Come, I was determined to support Rising Star and buy DoDonPachi Resurrection as soon as it was released. As is their wont, Rising Star have managed to put together a Deluxe Edition. It's not as impressive as the Deathsmiles Deluxe Edition, but you do get a soundtrack CD in with the game. It's slightly disappointing that the Black Label and V1.51 editions are paid DLC, rather than being included on the disc, but they're only 800 and 80 points respectively, so you might as well fork out the extra (I did).

Yeah... time to start concentrating...

So what of the game? Well, it's a batshit-crazy vertically-scrolling arcade shoot 'em up. The fifth in a legendary series, the storyline sees you transported back in time to 2008, to where (when?) some unknown entity is sending vast quantities of material and data through portals which are spreading like a virus and threatening our very existence!

Or something like that. It really doesn't matter that much what the story is, it's just a thinly veiled excuse to put you in a spaceship and give you the opportunity to destroy many, many alien enemies. And this, you will do. You're given a choice of three ships, each equipped with massive firepower. You have a standard, wide-ranging shot, and a more focused, concentrated laser. These can be switched between at will... simply holding down the fire button activates the laser. You also have a supply of bombs, which you can deploy yourself or which can be triggered by an enemy bullet as a last-ditch defence mechanism.

Looks like someone's chucked a bag of liquorice allsorts at me.

And then there's the Hyper. This is a special, massively powered-up version of your standard shot or laser, but you can only use it once it's been fully charged. It's worth the wait, though... not only is it more damaging, it also cancels enemy bullets and counts as hits to your hit counter, meaning you can quickly rack up a large chain, boosting your score tremendously.

It's very rewarding to see your counter rocketing upwards. It's also pretty difficult to keep it that way... at first, DoDonPachi Resurrection is a bit like a standard shmup, but then the madness kicks in and the screen starts to fill with bullets and projectiles. I'm not kidding... weaving in and out of the mass of blue and pink takes a steady hand, a sharp eye and not a small amount of luck, if you're anything like me!

Hyper! Hyper! Hyper!

I won't lie... I'm not great at these games. But the masochist in me still enjoys playing them. I've been playing this sort of game since the days of 1942, and because I'm quite good at the old-school games, I feel as though I shouldn't let the new breed beat me. It's a faint hope, but I do enjoy trying. Sadly, after a week or so, I was ranked at number 81 in the World on the Normal version of the game. That means that hardly anybody has bought it so far, which is terribly disappointing, if that's correct. Rising Star Games need our support, so that they'll keep bringing these games over here. Nobody else will do it, and they deserve our attention. They're not for everyone, but they're for more than have (apparently) bought it so far. If you fancy a real challenge, and something a bit different from Generic FPS #337, and you've got some money burning a hole in your pocket, be a devil... buy DoDonPachi Resurrection. I love it.

Images courtesy of the Rising Star Games website.

Time for change?

2011-11-11T15:45:00.002Z

Hey gang,

I've just been having a look at some of the templates available on Blogger, and I'm considering a bit of a redesign. One of the main benefits of this will be that I'll be able to use bigger screenshots, which can only be good, surely? Although, I'm wary of that, because some emulators will be restricted in the size of the images I can take, and I want uniformity or the blog will look messy.

I'm also wary of overdoing it, as it's easy to go from clean and simple to cluttered and messy. A change might be nice, but not just for change's sake.

So, what do you think? Good idea, or not? I might be doing a bit of experimenting over the coming week or so, so if you see something you don't like, don't be afraid of shouting up in the comments. If you've got any suggestions, let me know, too. For instance, thoughts on a good width would be handy. Is 1024px wide the accepted standard these days, for instance?

Other than that, we're coming up to Christmas. I won't be doing an Advent Calendar this year... it was hard enough getting games for each date last year! I will be doing a top ten in the New Year though... and much sooner than last year's! I've also got a couple of other features lined up. I'll try and do more videos, and I'm going to look into ways to make them better too.

So, I might be quiet... working seven days a week at the moment hasn't helped on that front. But I'm still here, and I'm going to keep this going, so let's see how it goes!

Have I Still Got It? Number 1 - The Human Race (Commodore 64)

2011-10-30T18:44:00.005Z

I've been asked many times if I'd incorporate video into my blog, and I've always thought that it's a good idea in principle, as long as it fits in OK. I've added a few representative gameplay videos lately... I think this is a good idea, although they aren't getting a lot of views. I still think it's better to have them than not... I won't be commentating on them, I prefer to do that through the writing. But sometimes, watching a game in action can be a better memory jog for someone. So they're staying, although I might try and find ways to make them more interesting (all suggestions welcome!).

Another idea I had was to start a new series, called Have I Still Got It?, where I play a game I used to love and be really good at many years ago, and see if I've still got the skillz. I figure that might be a slightly more interesting angle, although I doubt, given my time constraints, that I'll be doing it on a regular basis!

The first game I'm having a go at for this feature is one I've written about before... The Human Race.

I'm not going to go into the game too much... I did that last time. I used to play it so much though... mostly because each level had its own astonishing Rob Hubbard tune. I couldn't get enough of them, and the only way to really listen to them properly was to play the game, and I suppose that was what spurred me on. It got to the point where I could easily complete the game on a single life, which goes to show how often I played it just for that music!

The game itself was a good un, to my mind, and well worth the £1.99, even though it only had five screens. But almost everybody else I've talked to and that knows about the game seems to think it's really difficult! That being the case, it seemed like the ideal candidate for an experimental feature. But the question is... have I still got it? Well, watch the video and find out!

The Human Race - have I still got it?

River City Ransom (NES)

2011-10-23T21:08:00.003+01:00

I've mentioned it before, a long time ago, that I'm not exactly steeped in the Nintendo lore. So there are tons of games ripe for exploration, enjoyment and blogging. That said, it can be hard to stick a pin, as it were, and decide on what to play, so recommendations are always welcome.

One game that I've heard talked about as a bit of a must-play is River City Ransom. That's all I could remember about it prior to today... I didn't know what it was about, what you had to do or anything. What better way to find out than to just dive right in?

Barf? I must have hit him really hard!

I was pleasantly surprised, at first, to find a game that was not unlike Double Dragon or Renegade (it felt a little more like Renegade to me). And, in fact, research showed that this was the third entry in a series that started with... Renegade. Damn, I'm good! And if you haven't heard of River City Ransom and live outside the US, well, it was known as Street Gangs in other territories. Isn't the internet wonderful?

River City Ransom is another in the long line of videogame tales that see your useless girlfriend captured and imprisoned and in need of rescue. One of these days, someone is going to program a game where that happens and the hero just says, "Ahhh, fuck it" and goes out and gets another girlfriend. That would be pretty subversive. Until it happens though, we chivalrous (in-game) fellas will keep on putting our lives on the line, battling past innumerable hordes of bad guys for the honour of our girls.

Oh man, I could murder a decent cuppa (and about a thousand goons).

The game features a number of inner-city locales to batter your way through, including parks, building sites, tunnels and buildings, and each of these locales is the turf of one of the many gangs that are featured. It's not quite The Warriors... each gang is determined only by the colour of their shirts... but it still adds a welcome sense of scope to proceedings.

Also featured in the game are high street shopping areas. In these, a number of shops can be visited and their goods purchased. These goods will go towards increasing your character's stats, be it through the eating of food or drinking of beverages (which will replenish lost stamina and energy as well as increasing maximum levels). You can also buy books which, when read, add extra moves to your character's moveset. This is a pretty cool touch, actually.

They what> The bastards! But I... I... trusted them!

One thing I noticed, bearing in mind that this is the first time I've ever played this game... River City Ransom has obviously been a massive influence on the whole Scott Pilgrim vs The World phenomenon. In fact, I would go so far as to say that the recent downloadable Scott Pilgrim game is almost a carbon copy of River City Ransom. I was amazed at how similar they are... I played Scott Pilgrim on the 360 when it was released, but not having been a NES owner, I didn't realise the extent to which it had been an influence. I suppose it's the sincerest form of flattery, especially as the Scott Pilgrim game was done so well and so lovingly.

River City Ransom is a good game, although its limitations can become a little wearying after extended play. You're only ever attacked by two enemies at once, which is a bit dull... that said, they often attack at such speed that you're easily caught out. I'm not a fan of the way you have to move three-quarters of the way across the screen to push the scrolling... it's a bit awkward. And I never actually saw an endgame as such... I didn't play it through to the end, but every time I died I was just put back to a recent point; there was no Game Over.

Hey, what's up homies? What's that? You want to batter me with bricks? Harsh.

Because the game never seems to end, the repetitive nature of the gameplay can become a little boring. Then again, that's the danger with almost every scrolling beat 'em up. At least you have the extra depth that comes with the RPG-Lite elements, and it's a little harsh to criticise what was obviously quite revolutionary for its time, and is still a pretty decent and fun game when it comes down to it. It's got me looking forward to digging out a few more NES games now.

Why is it called River City Ransom when you're not going to pay a ransom?

All your (Game)Base are belong to me.

2011-10-17T19:23:00.005+01:00

Apologies for riffing on an infamous gaming meme, but it seemed appropriate at the time. If you're thinking that I'm throwing some fair old variety into the systems I'm using at the moment, then it's all thanks to my mate Alan Mamemeister.

Erm... that's not his real surname, but it's his nom de plume on the old interweb. Anyway, I've known him for over ten years online, but only finally got to meet him a couple of months ago. And to make the occasion particularly memorable, he chucked GameBase onto my laptop, along with the emulators and games for eighteen systems.

I said, "Eighteen systems".

I really did say "Eighteen systems..."

As you can imagine, that gives me a hell of a lot of blogging options. Too many, at times... it can be hard to settle on something, especially with so many games I've either never heard of, or haven't played. But it's a good problem to have when you're trying to fill in gaps in your gaming history.

It's a pity my laptop was playing up a bit, because he had loads more that he could have kitted me out with if we'd had time. Maybe next time... never mind, though, he left me with over 50,000 games as it is. At my current rate, I'll get these done by the time I reach Yoda's age...

GameBase is a wonderful thing. Like MAME, the intention is to document our gaming past. You don't just get the games, you get the history. Scans of game boxes, manuals, instructions, sound files... there's all sorts in there. If you're serious about your classic games, I'd recommend you check it out. Now, I think I might play Zero Wing for the blog...

Enduro Racer (Sega Master System)

2011-10-16T21:05:00.002+01:00

Wow. Sega, eh? Just the name causes many to speak in hushed tones of reverence. And indeed, they've been responsible for some of the finest gaming moments of all time. There was a spell in the Eighties where their arcade games were simply incredible, and their name was a cast-iron guarantee of pure joy.

One of the games that caused jaws to drop was the mighty Enduro Racer. Not exactly a follow-up to Hang On, it was a hulking behemoth of a cabinet, with a giant screen positioned in front of a sit-on bike which not only did you have to wrestle around the course; you also had to "wheelie" with it to get over jumps most effectively. After you'd finished a game, you felt like you'd had a real workout.

It's no good doing that, you're bike will smash to bits way before the finish line.

When Sega entered the home console market with their Master System, it was no surprise to find they were plundering their arcade back catalogue... with so many classic names at their disposal, they'd have been foolish not to capatalise on a hungry gaming public. What probably did come as a surprise was their release of Enduro Racer.

I'm sure you've played Enduro Racer in the arcades. If not, you've probably played Hang On. Or OutRun. Or Super Hang On. Or... well, you get the picture. A large part of the thrill comes from racing into the screen at incredible screens, with traffic, scenery and obstacles passing by in a glorious blur. I don't know if Sega were worried that the Master System couldn't handle it, but in their infinite wisdom they decided to program an entirely different game, with an isometric 3D viewpoint, and release it with the Enduro Racer name.

This is where a rocket launcher would come in handy.

It makes for an unusual game today... probably moreso back then, when unsuspecting gamers would have had to overcome their initial disappointment and just get on with it. The format is largely the same... race a course inside a set time limit, jumping over logs and avoiding sporadic traffic and other obstacles. But with the alternative view, it plays completely differently.

To add a bit of a twist, maybe to make the game just a little less "arcadey" for the home market, at the end of every level you can buy upgrades for your bike... if you've done well enough. For every vehicle you pass, you earn a point. Score a minimum of five points, and you have enough for an upgrade. It's basic stuff, and I'm not even sure if I noticed any differences, but it's a welcome attempt at a little bit of strategy.

Wonder if you get a bonus for landing on the car?

Enduro Racer on the Master System does have a certain charm. It's a bit like playing BMX Kidz, or maybe Excitebike (there's a classic I've never played... ideal opportunity now!). I enjoyed BMX Kidz a little bit more though... with Enduro Racer, the first three levels were fairly easy, and then there was a huge difficulty spike on level four. I suppose that with practice, I could overcome this. I have to say though, that for all the game is alright, I never felt any real compulsion to go back to it.

Race! Jump! Crash! Endure!

Hybris (Commodore Amiga)

2011-10-09T22:58:00.005+01:00

I'm constantly on the lookout for new games to play, not just for the blog but also for my own entertainment and education. I've said it before... I've played thousands and thousands of games in my lifetime, but for every one I've played there are probably ten that I haven't.

Commodore's Amiga is a machine that I have fond memories of despite not having owned one until recently. It has a number of games that I really love, but stacks that I've never heard of. One name that I've heard mentioned in revered tones of late is Hybris.

Pew! Pew! Shooty shooty aliens!

I didn't have any idea what it was about, although I'd gathered it was a shoot 'em up. Great... I love a good shmup. My chances of playing it seemed slim, though, seeing as I didn't own it... but then my mate Alan fixed me up with GameBase, and finally I had a hassle-free way to play the game.

If there's one arcade game that Hybris takes its inspiration from, it's Terra Cresta. The backgrounds are similar, the attack patterns are similar, the weapons power-ups are similar... even down to the way you can split your ship for more deadly firepower. And that's all well and good, because Terra Cresta didn't get a release on the Amiga.

Hey, that's not fair! Stop ganging up on me!

There's a plot, but what do you care about that? All you need to know is that you're flying a heavily-armed craft over a planet's surface, wiping out ground-based defences and enemy craft. What matters is how well it's done. And in Hybris it's done really rather well.

The blasting action is satisfying, although attack patterns are somewhat limited, but even with that being the case it's easy to find yourself getting caught out and having to fight your way out of trouble. You get large points bonuses for wiping out entire formations, and you can pick up other bonuses by uncovering hidden objects, Xevious-style.

There are bosses too, of course. The few I've encountered have been slightly more interesting than usual. Nothing spectacular, but with slightly more unpredictable patterns than usual. You need to be on your game to see them off.

You're not the boss of me...

I'm really glad that I picked up on the talk about Hybris. It certainly ranks up there as one of the better shooters that I've played from the home computer era. Pity I never got to have a go back then, but it's always better late than never, and I'd like to have a bit more time with it. Oh, look, here's a video of one of my games! Let me know what you think, I might try and do more of these.

Amiga shoot 'em up Hybris, in action.

Tweet! Tweet! What I'm up to at the moment.

2011-10-09T18:08:00.001+01:00

Hey gang!

The first part of this post is for those that read the blog, but aren't fans of the old social networking. As you might have noticed, I post links to every blog post on Twitter. But I also like to post other, non-blog-worthy gaming things up there every now and again, if you're interested. And then, there are the giveaways...

Yep, every so often, I like to give away games. That's right... give them away! Free! For nothing! Just when the mood takes me. It's usually cheapo PC stuff on Steam, but it's still better than nowt, right? So if you like a bit of a Tweet, follow me and we'll have some fun.

I've been having problems lately when trying to play certain PC games with my Logitech Wingman Rumblepad. It's a fine pad, and it works fantastically well for MAME, but it's struggling with other emulators and, more crucially, actual PC games. Not that matters in some ways... I haven't exactly got a mighty gaming rig, so big new releases are bought on consoles. But a lot of indie games are not mouse-controlled, and so I haven't been getting the optimal experience.

So, today I bit the bullet, ran up to Argos, and got myself an XBox 360 wired controller. And it's a bit of a revelation. It's so simple... just plug it in, the drivers will install and you're away. I expected that. But then I fired up WinVICE, an emulator where I was forced to use my D-pad to play Commodore 64 games, and lo and behold, I was able to use the left stick. Brilliant!

The main reason I bought this controller was so that I could properly play Scoregasm, the new release from Charlie's Games. My Wingman just wasn't having it, and it dragged the game down. But with the 360 controller, it's fantastic. I'll probably write a review at some point, but I will say that if you enjoy twin-stick arena shooters, you'd be a bit of a mug if you didn't buy this.

So I've got that to look forward to, along with getting back to loads of other games that I simply couldn't do justice because of controller issues. Don't know how I'll manage, though... I've just bought RAGE and the absolutely vicious Dark Souls for my 360, and Forza 4 is out next week...

Ready Steady Bang (iOS)

2011-10-08T16:09:00.004+01:00

It's a funny old world, the iOS game/app market. Seemingly innocuous little games can become blockbuster gaming juggernauts, crushing all in their path with their simplistic, easy-to-grasp concepts. And yet, others which are similarly polished and possibly even more fun can fall by the wayside, looking terribly forlorn when you check your Game Center leaderboard and find you're "#23 of 978". There are 250 million+ iOS owners out there... surely every app should be picked up by more than 978 by default?

Come on, old-timer. Put that thing away.

Over the next few weeks, I'd like to give a shout out to a few iOS games that might not get as many mentions as the behemoths that have become part of pop culture. They might not have the profile, but they're irrefutably enjoyable, and all for less than the price of a Mastertronic budget game. And the first game I'd like to pimp to the "masses" is a terribly simple affair called Ready Steady Bang.

If you've ever wanted to be a cowboy or a sheriff in the Wild West, dispensing bullets one at a time in a life-or-death draw against a deadly foe, then Ready Steady Bang is the game for you. What? You question me?

No? Well, if you insist...

Ooohhh, alright... it's a reaction test. In the single player game you take on ten increasingly dead-eyed opponents. You shouldn't have many problems against the first or second, but once you start moving on you'll encounter goes that even The Waco Kid would have trouble dispatching.

That's all well and good, and it's great fun going up against these daftly-named adversaries. It's very satisfying to see your slightly-bigger-than-a-stick-man opponent fall to the ground, clutching his chest after you've beaten him to the draw. And the over-the-top winner's screen is great, displaying your average reaction time in huge numbers. But it's the two-player mode where this game really comes into its own.

Yee-haw! Take that, pardner!

Beating your mates is always fun, but never more so than when defeat comes in an instant. In the last couple of weeks, I've played Ready Steady Bang down the pub a couple of times with mates, and it's an instant winner. Just ramp up the sound on your iDevice, plonk it in the middle of the table with a mate sitting opposite, and away you go. It's like a two-player version of the shootout at the end of The Good, The Bad and The Ugly.

The pair of you sit there, hunched at opposite ends of the table, fingers hovering and twitching above the screen... the announcer shouts out "Ready.... Steady.............. Bang!" Your fingers race to be the first to tap the screen. The loser falls, a broken and defeated man. The winner jumps for joy, being careful not to spill his pint over the iPhone...

Quick Draw McMoz prevails again!

It's fantastic. You could actually imagine this being an arcade cocktail table in a bar. It could rake in a fortune. Everybody has that competitive edge, and playing Ready Steady Bang amongst mates really brings that out. I love this game, and I've brought in a few sales purely on the evidence of a quick session at the bar. For 69p, it's a little gem that should be impossible to refuse.

Ready Steady Bang at the iTunes App Store

Defender of the Crown (Commodore Amiga)

2011-09-26T17:08:00.006+01:00

Cinemaware is a company that had quite a reputation back in the day. Well, actually, they had two reputations... one was as a company that produced very ambitious, highly polished games with tremendous production values, in an attempt to make games that captured the essence of classic Hollywood. The other reputation that was held in some quarters was that they were overrated, producing nothing more than a series of dull mini-games held together by ropey plots. Seems a bit harsh...

Ladies and gentlemen, please bear witness to the arrival of Sir PaulEMoz.

I've only played one Cinemaware game before today, and that was Rocket Ranger. It just so happens that that game is one of my all-time favourite Amiga games. Not having owned an Amiga in its halcyon days, though, meant that I never got the opportunity to sample the rest of the Cinemaware catalogue. The first of their games, and the one that served to hype their name to the heavens, was Defender of the Crown. Finally, twenty-five years after its release, I've managed to play it.

Defender of the Crown is a strategy game, with action sequence mini-games. You find yourself in Ye Olde England, in the time of Robin Hood. And in fact, you're one of his mates. But he's decided he's past all that heroic rubbish, and is leaving it up to you to wrest control of England (and Wales, I guess, as you can have that bit o' land too) from evil hands. That said, he does agree to come to your aid up to three times, should you require it. Mighty generous of him.

I love Eugene Jarvis. Oh, wait...

Once the game starts, you're presented with a map of England and Wales (well, most of it... the map stops at Yorkshire. Racists!). There are six castles on the map, one of which is yours! But you can't just sit in your stately home, Lording it over all and sundry. The crown is missing, and you have to not only retrieve it, but also defeat the other five usurpers and earn the right to the throne.

Many of our land's counties are not under rule to begin with. That's how the game starts, with you taking turns to mop up strategically useful pieces of land. You'll earn money off this land, and this can (and must) be used to build your army. This isn't complicated, or especially deep. The only units you can buy are soldiers, knights, catapults and castles. You'll need catapults to attack the other castles. Knights and soldiers should be gathered in nicely proportionate numbers to ensure effective fighting.

My counties are displayed in light blue. Looks like it's going alright, so far.

Once you have an army fit for a prospective king, you can go and set about one of the other pretenders to the throne. It's probably best to take some of their other counties first, lessening their forces in number before laying siege to their stronghold. You don't get to control fights, but you do get to have a go at smashing the castle. If you can correctly judge the strength at which to hurl each boulder from the catapult, you'll smash a big enough hole in the wall for your army to flood through, and that will be one foe conquered! Or at least, you hope it will... you're never aware how many opposing soldiers lie beyond those walls...

Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelled of elderberries. Now go away, or I will taunt you a second time.

It's then a case of rinse and repeat for the rest of the game. Which makes it sound boring, which is to do it a disservice. And there's a little more to it than that. For instance, at times, tournaments will be called. All the contenders will be summoned to one location where they (and you) will joust, for fame and possibly for land.

On a more serious note, there's castle raiding. This can happen in two ways... off your own bat, or to avenge a damsel from foul Normans. Either which way, you'll break into a castle, do a bit of swordfighting, and if all goes to plan, have your way with a lovely maiden. Get it wrong, and you'll be captured, and will have to part with some of your hard-earned funds in order to secure your release.

Alright lads, we're in! You take this lot, I'll get the wench!

These bits all sound like fun, but the problem is, I can't win any of the mini-games. At all. Well, that's not strictly true... I can knock down the castle walls easily in a siege. But the jousting and swordfighting are proving to be impossible for me. Now, you can win the game without them... I did, on my first try... but where's the fun in it if you're not dominant in everything? You want to win the joust. You want to win the swordfights and rescue the damsels. Of course you do. I feel like a bit of a limp-wristed fraud.

Still, as a groundbreaking bit of strategy-lite, Defender of the Crown is something of a triumph. And I would go so far as to say that, even today, it would be a good introduction to the genre for anyone that's a bit wary (or even scared) of the more dense strategy games. You can count me in that number.

The King of Kung?

2011-09-23T21:18:00.001+01:00

Being a World Record holder can be a massively prestigious thing. Who wouldn't want the fame and glory that comes with being Usain Bolt, running the 100 metres in 9.58 seconds? Or how about Feliks Zemdegs, who can complete a Rubik's Cube in an amazing 6.65 seconds? Maybe you'd prefer the prestige that comes with being Joey Chestnut, eater of 68 hot dogs in 10 minutes? Actually, on second thoughts I think I could do without that one.

Wow. Doesn't that look like a lot of fun?

I'm not a great athlete... being school champion at the triple jump hardly counts. I hate puzzles, we all know that. And although I'm getting a bit of a kite on me as I tap forty on the shoulder, I'm not really that big an eater. Video games, though, are my thing. And there are tons of video games out there. Surely getting a World Record on one of them must be easy? And then you could genuinely say you're a World Record holder. That would be cool.

Now, there are games out there where you've got no chance. I'm no Billy Mitchell or Tony Temple... the real classic records simply aren't attainable for me. But I do have a fairly vast experience of gaming over the last thirty-odd years... and there is one game I always thought I was quite good at. That game is Yie Ar Kung-Fu.

Down you go, fat boy.

I first used to play Yie Ar Kung-Fu regularly at the YMCA in Consett, of all places. It was a cool place, the "YM". They held roller discos for the teens in the area, and they had a few arcade machines in there, most memorable of which was Tron. That was a lovely machine. I was never much good at it, though. Around another corner, however, was Yie Ar Kung-Fu. And that one, I WAS good at.

It's an interesting game, is Yie Ar Kung-Fu. If you haven't heard of it, it's a beat 'em up that puts you in the shoes of protagonist Oolong, who must fight his way, one-on-one, past eleven different and increasingly difficult enemies. Each enemy has his (or her) own fighting style, and in many cases, they have weapons too. Should you be good enough to beat all eleven, then you'll go back to the first... but they're all better and harder second time around...

I was taught never to hit a girl. So I'll kick this one instead.

OK, so Karate Champ came first. And if you look at that game, you can see that it led to games such as Way of the Exploding Fist and International Karate. But Yie Ar Kung-Fu is really the grandaddy of fighting games as we know them today. It deserves our respect on that front. To many, it's an irritating game... to me, it's something of a joy. I can't get on with modern fighting games; there are too many moves, too many commands to input on the controller. Yie Ar Kung-Fu gives you sixteen moves; eight kicks and eight punches, accessed by the eight directions on the controller and one of two buttons.

I can manage that, and I've always been able to. Even from the beginning, I had something of an affinity with the game, and regularly saw myself defeating opponent after opponent and reaching the final bad guy, Blues. He's a tough nut, but after practice I found I could beat him fairly often, albeit after losing a few lives in the process.

This very game here was the first time I'd ever had a Perfect on Pole.

That's the key... having a good supply of extra lives. To get these, you'll need to score points... and to boost your score, you can get Perfect ratings on each opponent. This is, in many cases, easier said than done. "All" you have to do is defeat an opponent without taking a hit yourself... almost impossible against some fighters. Defeat the first opponent, the fat man Buchu, without getting hit and you'll score a 10,000 bonus. This "Perfect" bonus increases by 10,000 with every fighter. Work that out, and you'll see that over the eleven fighters, there's a pretty big score to be had... if you can master them.

So that's what I set about doing. Now, I know that back in the Eighties I could score over 600,000 points, which I always thought was pretty good. Then I kind of forgot about it for a lot of years, until the wonder that is MAME enabled me to play it again. And I played it quite often for fun, not thinking any more of it, until I played it in a competition on a gaming forum. There, I scored 890,000 points... certainly my best. That's when somebody asked me what the World Record was.

And this one, who looks easiest of all, always manages to get a hit on me. Bastard.

I had no idea. The thought had never crossed my mind. I knew there was a website for such things... the fabled Twin Galaxies. But for some reason, I'd never looked the game up there. When I did, I was quite surprised.

The World Record for Yie Ar Kung-Fu on an actual arcade machine was around 600,000. On MAME, it was about 470,000. I'd beaten both of those scores, and quite comfortably! So it was settled. I was going to go for a World Record! Roy Castle would have been proud.

Of course, merely getting a World Record score is not enough; you have to accompany it with evidence. That might be tricky if I owned an original arcade machine, but it's easy in the days of emulators... they all have built in recording functions. What does make it a bit trickier is that you must submit your score on Twin Galaxies' accepted version of the game.

See, now that's GOT to hurt.

If you don't know about emulation, then you won't know that it's constantly being refined and updated. Games are made to run more accurately as time goes by, which is great but can be a bit of a faff on at times. There have been well over 100 revisions to the MAME (Multiple Arcade Machine Emulator) program since it started. Twin Galaxies wants to be fair to all, and so they use a version of the program called WolfMAME, and it must be version 0.106. It took me ages to locate this particular version of the program and the game ROM to go with it!

Once I had everything I needed, though, the matter of setting about my task was simple. Hit the emulator's record button, start the game, kick and punch. I had a couple of warm-up games just to jog my memory, but it was obvious that all my old routines were easily called back into memory. And so it was that on March 24th 2008, I achieved a score of 610,300. Decent enough, if nowhere near my best, but certainly enough to be a new World Record! Not only that, but it beat the arcade version's high score too. I was happy with that, so instead of playing more and getting a much more daunting high score, I submitted my new World's best.

When they said I'd meet a Fan, I didn't think...

You wouldn't think it, but the wait between submitting your score and it being verified and posted on the site is excruciating. You can't stop yourself from checking every day, even if you know they're busy. All sorts of questions float around in your mind. What if they've found something wrong with my game? What if someone else has submitted a better score in the meantime? The possibility that you might not see your name in lights after all is a worrying one.

It took about a month for my score to be verified and them to hit the website. It felt a bit weird to see it there, with a number "1" next to it, but that was that. I was a World Record holder. Roy Castle would have been proud. And although it was on a game that was relatively insignificant in the arcade world, I was proud too.

Bloody hell! You can keep that thing away from me, mate!

Sadly, it didn't last, and withing a few short months some git, erm, I mean some gaming Titan had beaten my score. They'd only managed 679,000... a score I could have beaten comfortably if I'd kept practicing instead of submitting the first effort that counted. But that was that, and I felt a bit deflated. That's not the attitude of a champion. Then I heard of another gaming world records site, called MARP. I thought I'd have a look at that one and see what their best was... and was staggered to find it stood at 9,999,900.

How could that be? All this time, I thought I'd been half-decent at the game. When I saw that, I wondered, what was the point of trying again? I simply couldn't fathom how you could manage a score like that. I really struggled with the game, second time around. Had other players found an exploit and could play it forever, beating all opponents with a single move? I was defeated. I put all thoughts of high scores to the back of my mind...

This bloke's pretty hard. I'm not ashamed of kicking him in the back.

...until the much-maligned Game Room was released on the XBox 360. One of the few companies to sign up was Konami, producers of Yie Ar Kung-Fu. I'd already bought it on the 360, but I forked out again to add it to my impressive arcade collection. Despite using a less-than-ideal controller, I had the top score on the Game Room when I first bought it, and uploaded my replay. But when I checked again a couple of days later, the high score was... 9,999,900.

I was gutted. How could there be so many people out there that were SO good at this game? I thought it was really hard! But then I remembered that a feature of Game Room was that it allowed you to watch replays from the top 20 players. Finally I'd get to see some of the techniques of the world's top players. So I loaded up the number one score and watched. Huh, they didn't even get a Perfect on Buchu, the first opponent! Oh well, you only get 10,000 points for that, and anyone can slip up. On to Star, next...

Here's the daddy of them all, Blues. Get in and out quick, or you're dead.

And then that's when it hit me, with all the force of Keyser Soze's unveiling in The Usual Suspects. These amazing players, the ones that had clocked the game, were merely reaching the second opponent and then kicking her stars for points! I honestly couldn't believe it. Why would you bother to play a game without actually playing the game? All those MARP high scores must have been achieved the same way!

I was heartened by that. None of those scores would count on Twin Galaxies, and so my opportunity was there again! And then it was derailed by the arrival of our second child, Ryan. And then I just forgot. Excuses, excuses. But now I'm ready. I'm focused. And I want my record back. I'm going for it. Stay with me gang, and I'll let you know when it happens...

Intensity (Commodore 64)

2011-09-15T19:52:00.001+01:00

Morpheus scraped its way to a ZZAP! Sizzler award... decent, but probably not what was hoped for. But depending on who had reviewed it, it might have not even garnered that... some would suggest a Sizzler was overly generous, and that maybe it was awarded out of a sense of duty, with the game having been subject of a Diary of a Game. I would counter that such a suggestion was harsh... Morpheus is an epic game that takes a long, long time to get into and appreciate, and ZZAP!'s review pointed out that it would not hold universal appeal.

It would be interesting to know how Andrew Braybrook felt about it when all was said and done. Perhaps it burnt him out on the space shooter genre, because his next (and ultimately his last) game on the Commodore 64 turned out to be nothing like that. It was, instead, a single-screen collect 'em up, and it was called Intensity.

Doesn't look all that intense...

There's still a spacey element to the game, as you might expect. Colonists are stranded on their, um, colonies, and with no course of action remaining other than evacuation, you're tasked with piloting the rescue mission. A drone ship is placed on the exterior of each space station. The colonists will emerge from doors and run towards this... hurray, safety beckons!

Once you have saved the requisite number, the exit portal will be activated. You must use your skimmer to guide the now-heaving-with-colonists drone to that exit. This task is simple enough... if you press the fire button, the drone will move to the point at which you summoned it. There's a bit of a problem, though. If the drone hits your skimmer, both will explode. So once you've pressed that button, you'd best leg it, sharpish.

The exit has been activated. Save them!

You don't have to go directly to the exit, and indeed, there are times when you can't, such is the layout of some of the colonies. Why they litter the exteriors of space stations with obstacles is beyond me. You'll also find yourself skimming backwards and forwards between points, picking up a colonist here then heading over to get one from there. It's reminiscent of Choplifter in a way, albeit from a different viewpoint.

Naturally there's a little more to it than that. The colonists are evacuating for a reason, and that reason manifests itself in the skies above each space station. Alien critters meander about, causing bother wherever they may roam. In a nod back to Gribbly's Day Out, the alien critters mutate into stronger, more dangerous forms, if left to their own devices. Luckily you can turn them into space roadkill by just flattening them with your skimmer.

Things are getting a little more complicated now...

That's the game, in a rather large nutshell. There are other bells and whistles... saving colonists releases resources which you can pick up and spend between levels, for instance. But after the sprawling epic that was Morpheus, it comes as a huge surprise to find such a small-scale, tight and focused game. There's no shooting (another surprise), and the single-screen action, whilst initially a little confusing, doesn't take long to click. Once it does, it's very enjoyable indeed, and it gets quite frantic just a few levels in. Considering I'd never played it before, I picked it up in no time, played it for ages and had loads of fun with it.

You're dying to fly a Manta over that and blast everything, aren't you?

Intensity proved to be the last game Andrew Braybrook would write on the Commodore 64. It's a bit of an underrated gem in my opinion, and as such it unfortunately provided something of a low-key swansong. He certainly deserved to leave the scene with a very large bang, having provided some of the greatest gaming moments of its history. Gribblets, Paradroids and Dreadnaughts will forever be remembered fondly by a public that bought in on gaming to a massive degree at the time, and Andrew Braybrook will be remembered as one of the brightest stars of the era.

That's not the end of my look back at Andrew Braybrook, though. I've got a few other things I want to get out there, and then I'm going to come back and round up his Special Editions, and there just might be a sneaky look at something on the Amiga...

Morpheus (Commodore 64)

2011-09-12T18:25:00.004+01:00

Ambition. It's what drives so many people on. Ambition to be bigger, better, faster stronger. The ambition to do what has never been done before. The ambition to create what has never been created before. Or, perhaps, to refine something into the best it's ever been.

Andrew Braybrook's ambition led him back to the cold black of space for his next game - a game more epic than anything he'd attempted before. A game called Morpheus.

And we're off!

Alleykat hadn't really gone down as well as Braybrook's prior games... it was well-received, certainly, but not spectacularly so. It might have been nice to just be allowed to plug away at the next game, but that wasn't to happen... Morpheus became the feature of ZZAP! 64's Diary of a Game. I don't know how that came about... maybe both parties harkened back to Birth of a Paradroid and hoped that lightning would strike twice. It was certainly possible with such an undoubtedly talented programmer...

You can read the Diary of a Game in HTML format here, via the excellent DEF Guide to ZZAP! 64 site. It's also available in scanned format from the site's front page.

Get it! Get it! Oh, hang on... that's the wrong one.

The diary ambled along for eight months... that's a long time for the development of a Commodore 64 game. It makes for tortured reading at times... there were long periods where AB wasn't sure what he wanted in the game, couldn't come up with enemy designs, had to break from the game foran eye operation, had to break from the game to work on new versions of old games... it's almost a wonder that Morpheus was released at all. And maybe it wasn't... throughout the length of the diary, this was going to be a Hewson game, but it ended up being released by Rainbird.

So, it was hardly a smooth path that Morpheus trod. In such cases, the end product can often be a disappointment. It's difficult to say whether that was the case with Morpheus... I suppose it depends on what you wanted from the game.

Haha, yeah, you wish. It'll take ages before you've earned enough to buy this bad boy.

Morpheus is a space shoot 'em up. But just hold it right there before you go rushing in willy-nilly to wipe out wave after wave of attacking space craft. This game isn't like that at all.

It's a knocking bet that your first game of Morpheus will end in confusion and death. Your ship exits the docking station, which fades away as you enter the vastness of space. Then you blunder around, bumping into creatures indigenous to the area, which will bump into you and shoot you. Then you encounter a pulsing star, which will bombard you with bullets. If you're lucky, you will "de-mat" back to the docking station. There, you will see that you don't have enough money to buy anything, so you'll exit the docking station, and this time you will die.

Red scanner at night - space pilot's delight. That means you've shut down the nucleus.

Then you'll notice that you don't lose the credits you've accumulated. Morpheus is not quite the cruel mistress she appears to be... in storing your credits after you die, you can at least give yourself a sporting chance of getting somewhere. It might take a few games and a bit of time, but eventually you'll have the funds to commission yourself a new unit of some description.

Customisation of your ship is one of Morpheus' strong suits... to a degree. There's a large number of upgrades to choose from... if you have the cash, you can treat yourself to a new, bigger hull (essential if you want to get anywhere, as it can carry more upgrades), and other goodies such as weapons, energy supplies, radar, shields, etc. You might need to experiment a little to find the upgrades that work best for you. It's a very deep system, and it's handled in a very interesting way.

There you go, your first upgrade. Now your path will be clearer...

The upgrades don't work the way of most games, where you might find them floating around and pick them up, or you might go to a shop and buy them. In Morpheus, you must commission a new system (this, of course, is dependent on funds and the availability of a space on your ship for installation). Once a part is commissioned, you'll have to wait for it to be ready. You'll have to fly back into space and do battle for a while, and hope the mechanics will have finished working when you get back.

I like this aspect of the game. In this world of instant gratification, it's refreshing to play something where you have to really earn every upgrade. On the other hand, it doesn't make the game any more accessible, and in my time with it this time around, I never did manage to get a hull upgrade. But this isn't a straightforward arcade shoot 'em up, as the programmer takes great pains to point out.

Oh, bollocks. That didn't last long. What a waste of a grand!

Morpheus has fifty levels, or "timeslices". Getting through them all would be a real challenge... or maybe a chore, depending on your viewpoint. Each timeslice has a positive and negative phase, which you can alternate between depending on how much positive charge you're carrying. It kind of reminds me of the Entropy system in Jeff Minter's Iridis Alpha, but I don't think it's implemented as successfully. Unlike that game, in Morpheus, I never quite knew where I was or how the positive and negative was really working.

I think that Morpheus suffers from being too ambitious. Too ambitious for its time, and the technology of the day. Once you start adding stuff to your ship, especially hulls, everything starts to feel cramped. Even at its smallest, your ship takes up a lot of the screen, and it's easy to just blunder into everything willy-nilly. Of course, adding other units helps to compensate for this, but not entirely. I think that a remade version, taking advantage of today's widescreen tellies and higher resolutions, could really be something. As it was, Morpheus was a game for those with extremely high patience and the love of a stern challenge. It's more likely to appeal to the sort of person that liked Elite, Citadel or Hunter's Moon, which I think might have been the idea while the game was in production. But this one is very much an acquired taste.

Alleykat (Commodore 64)

2011-07-25T17:43:00.004+01:00

Uridium was a huge success. Commodore 64 owners lapped up the slick blaster, and with good reason. It was as close to an arcade game as they had seen at that point, looking and sounding spectacular and offering a great and enjoyable challenge.

Talking of challenges... how was Andrew Braybrook going to follow up his latest mega-hit? It must have been tempting to go with another straight shooter, but that wasn't the Braybrook way. Instead, he went with a racing game... with a twist.

Free, you say? Loves a bargain, me.

The game was called Alleykat, and was again set way into the future. This time, though, there were no Dreadnoughts in sight. Alleykat is set squarely on terra firma... well, maybe not terra firma, as this game sees you playing the role of a pilot in an intergalactic racing league.

The league takes place over the course of a year, with each month hosting a number of events. You're able to enter just one of these events per month, and your ability to do so depends on how much cash you've got. When you start out you're skint, as you've spunked all your cash on your racer... luckily the first race of the season is free to enter.

Yeah, just drop me off here mate, I'll be alright.

If you scroll down the calendar, you'll notice that you can peruse each event ahead of time. This is handy, because it means you can pick and choose your career. And you'll want to, because you'll develop your own style and favourite types of races and tracks, and you'll also learn which tracks to avoid...

Different events might range from Time Trial to Demolition to Dodge'em, with more besides. Each title states the obvious, so from that you can work out what you fancy getting up to, and choose accordingly. That's not to say you'll necessarily have an easy time of it from cherry-picking your favourites, though...

Beware the Cater-Killer...

Each type of race has an objective, as specified by its race type. So, obviously, in a Demolition race you'll score more highly for destroying all the scenery; in a Time Trial you'll score more highly for finishing quickly, etc. You can add to your score though, by destroying the hostile craft that patrol the racetracks. They're really thrown in as a distraction from your main objective, though, because unless you're racing on a Demolition track, you're not going to want to break off from what you're concentrating on. And you especially won't want to do that on a Dodg'em course... very dangerous.

Finishing the race will earn you prize money, which is essential to the continuation of your career. As I mentioned earlier, you'll need funds to enter the later, more prestigious events. If you fail to complete a race, you'll get nowt. You can just about afford this early on, but later races cost more to enter, so if you crash, your season is pretty much finished. It does look amazing when you crash though. Small consolation. It might be worth keeping an eye on the track as you race... small amounts of credits are strewn around, waiting to be picked up... another distraction, but it can be worth the effort.

Save the rainforest! No, wait... destroy the rainforest!

This all sounds pretty great... so what's wrong with it? Sadly, the racing itself is flawed. In many of the races, you can simply move to the right, blast everything in your path for an entire lap, and then hightail it outta there at top speed for the rest of the race. This doesn't necessarily serve you for the best in a Demolition race, but it'll get you to the end intact, winning you the money you need to progress. There's not enough of a feeling of threat or danger. The Dodg'ems are more difficult and you'll need a good deal of skill to get through them, but you can just, erm, dodg'em if you want and choose easier races.

I have to say, though... for all Alleykat is a little less-well regarded than earlier Braybrook games, I really enjoyed re-acquainting myself with it. It's not as good a game as the three that came before it, of that there is no doubt. The flaws in this one are a bit bigger and slightly more damaging, but there's still some good fun to be had. The variety of choice as you play through the game and the high score potential combine to keep things relatively fresh, even if you have a session lasting a couple of hours.

Here I go, way too faa-a-aaast, don't slow down I'm gonna craa-a-aaash. Oh... I did.

I actually think that Alleykat was a game ahead of its time. It's a really good idea that was hampered by the limitations of technology. Being a vertical scroller is the obvious orientation for a racer, but with the tracks being so cluttered you're forced to play the game "wrong". As I write this, I'm envisioning a 3D, into-the-screen racer. It could even have the same graphic style, albeit fancied-up with today's technology, but you'd have a better chance of playing it properly on all stages, and it could be really good fun. As it was, Alleykat was a pretty decent game, although many would say it marked the beginning of a slippery slope...

Uridium (Commodore 64)

2011-07-16T15:06:00.001+01:00

I doubt that Andrew Braybrook had time to rest on his laurels, or even to really celebrate the success of Paradroid. In those days, time was most definitely money... although you didn't realise it as a thirteen-year-old, the Commodore 64 (and all comparable systems of the era) were saddled with a ticking time-bomb known as shelf-life, and as soon as the next generation of technology became available and affordable, the money to be made on current machines would dwindle dramatically. If you had a big hit, you had to strike while the iron was hot and write another one.

Breathe in... aaaaaand relax.

Braybrook had had a massive hit with Paradroid, so it would be imperative to capitalise on that and get a hot new game out there as soon as possible. He decided to mine a similar vein and set his next game around massive Dreadnought spaceships... but rather than being inside them, you were attacking them from the outside in an arcade space blaster. It was called Uridium.

The game sees our solar system under attack from a fleet of giant Dreadnoughts, and we can't have that. So off you go in your nimble little space fighter to go and bring the blighters down. Each ship is named after a metallic element, getting progressively more valuable (and difficult!) as you go on. The ships are long but narrow, with superstructures causing difficulty in navigating from one end to the other.

Mine! Mine! Mine!

Also making things difficult are the enemy attack ships which fly in to defend each Dreadnought. These things are highly efficient and well-drilled, keeping tight formations in an attempt to bring your little mission to a swift end. This can be their downfall, too... you can obliterate entire formations with just a few blasts. But some of those buggers are really fast and nasty. Luckily your ship is very manouevrable, and a quick flip can see you dodging bullets and heading out of trouble.

As if these dangers weren't enough, there are little portals all over the Dreadnoughts, and if you hang around these for too long, they will release homing mines. Possibly even more dangerous than the craft that shoot at you, these things will chase you around meaning evasive action is imperative. That's all very well if you've got some open space, but if there are any structures nearby, you're in real trouble...

I love... goooooold. The look of it, the smell of it, the texture...

Reach the end of a Dreadnought and survive long enough, and a siren will blare, alerting you that you can "Land now!" If you manage this (not necessarily as easy as it sounds... I've often been blown to pieces before I could hit the runway), then you get to land and set off the destruct sequence. Awesome! All you do, though, is play a quick bonus game for extra points, and then you're outta there, completing a fly-by back to the front of the ship... and watching it dissolve underneath you. You'll then be whisked off to tackle the next, more difficult ship...

Uridium is another game that gave my Zipstik a severe working-over when I was younger. Unfortunately, once the game loads up and the excellent title tune starts, memories come flooding back... of my mate Neil Steadman, dancing stupidly to the music in his bedroom. Some things, once they are seen, can never be unseen...

Phew, it's boiling!

Childhood tortures aside, Uridium is quite literally a blast. You can fire more bullets in this game than almost any other Commodore 64 game, as long as you've got a trigger finger that's up to the task. It's hard to say you'll need them... attack waves are fairly small and well spread out. But there are some vicious bastards in there, so wiping them out as quickly as possible can be quite advantageous, seeing that it's probably the difference between life and death...

A large part of the game, though, does not involve shooting. The Dreadnoughts, you see, are very cleverly designed, getting more and more difficult to navigate the further you progress. It's really important that you memorise each ship's layout if you want to weave your way to the end at speed. When you reach a new one, for the first few goes you have to tiptoe your way through, which is a real problem when you're being assaulted by deadly attack ships. After a few games, though, you start to zip around with more confidence, and it's a real thrill to shoot through a tight gap and onto the runway, with a squadron of enemy fighters on your tail.

Hey, don't go blowing that up, it's platinum! It's worth a fortune!

It's fair to say that Uridium is a mite repetitive, but you could say that about most arcade shooters. What's important is how well it plays, how it feels to play. And Uridium feels really good. There's not much to it... there are no extra weapons to discover, and little new from ship one to ship fifteen. It just gets harder, and challenges you to get better, and it remains enjoyable all the way. It's not perfect... it can be a touch annoying, for instance, having to hwait around for the "Land Now" signal (although this would be rectified a couple of years later...), but it is damn good, it looks fantastic and is certainly one of the best arcade-style shoot 'em ups on the Commodore 64.

Paradroid (Commodore 64)

2011-06-25T15:27:00.012+01:00

Gribbly's Day Out proved to be quite a hit with the critics... which must have brought a certain amount of pressure. Once you've had one hit game, you're expected to have another. Possibly an even bigger hit. Possibly an even better game.

As if that wasn't enough pressure, Andrew Braybrook submitted to a request from ZZAP! 64 to diarise his latest project. You can read it here in HTML form, or go to the excellent Def Guide to ZZAP! 64 website, where scans of the magazine can be found. You'll need Issue 3 onwards...

Oi! Braybrook! Stop mucking about with your last game, and get on with making a new one!

So all of Andrew's ideas and processes were laid bare to the public. For me, as a thirteen-year-old lad, it made fascinating reading. This upcoming game about rogue robots in space sounded amazing. My teenage mind had fashioned 3D dreadnaught decks, bustling with vicious, colourful robots. I imagined peering around deck walls of spaceships, stealthily sneaking up on the robots or dashing from room to room, avoiding detection. And then it was reviewed and got a ZZAP! Gold Medal. It was called Paradroid, and I couldn't wait to play it...

Imagine, then, my initial disappointment when I first saw Paradroid in action. My vision was nowhere to be seen... instead, I had an overhead view of a grey spaceship deck, with little black and white numbers trundling about. What the hell was this? But then I finally got my hands on it...

What? I wasn't expecting "Fun with numbers"!

The idea behind Paradroid, for anyone that hasn't clicked on one of the links I posted or has never played the game, is that robots have gone rogue on a series of dreadnaught spaceships, and are out of control and very hostile. The player controls an Influence Device, which has been beamed aboard the first ship, and you're tasked with clearing out all these robots and taking back control of the ship.

Hold on a minute... you control a what, now?

The Influence Device is the most sophisticated robot of all. It may not be armed to the teeth, but it is able to patch into any other robot and take control of it for a brief time, and in doing so can utilise all its functions. This is, in fact, the most important aspect of Paradroid, and what sets it above the standard shoot 'em up. You're basically able to pick and choose your own upgrades at will, as long as you're good at the transfer subgame...

You must choose wisely.

This is how it works. As you roam the decks, you might spot another robot that you quite fancy. So you casually saunter up to it, initiate transfer mode and bump into it. You're then connected. If only it worked like that in a club or a bar.

Once you're connected, you enter a transfer game. At this stage, you get to choose which side of the game "board" you wish to use. It's vitally important that you pick well, because you only have a limited number of pulses to fire at the board. There are a number of connectors on each side of the transfer board, with the objective being to control more of the board when the time runs out than your opponent. If you do, you take control. If you don't... boom.

See, that's how you do it.

The transfer game is simple, but very sophisticated. Once you get the hang of it, or rather, become very good at it, you can take control of almost anything, given a suitable transfer board. The feeling of satisfaction gained from successfully capturing the 999 Command Cyborg using the 001 Influence Droid is like little else in gaming. That said, it's not wise to try it unless you want to see the Game Over sequence... I've only ever attempted it through sheer blind panic and desperation!

I've talked at length about the transfer game here, which is almost to overlook the main game itself. And I shouldn't, because Paradroid is a very solid and imaginitive shoot 'em up, even without the added bonus game. There are nine classes of robot to attack, avoid and control, and this is where the genius of the graphic display comes in. Had each robot been represented by its actual graphic, things would have looked messy and cluttered, and confusion would more than likely have reigned.

Looks like a firefight has broken out.

By using a numeric display, it's almost as though you're watching from on-ship cameras, from the safety of a command centre. And when you encounter enemies you immediately know what you're up against, as the first number denotes the class of droid, from 1-9. Number 326? Messenger robot, fast, useful for getting around in a hurry. Number 629? Sentinel droid, well-armed, be wary. Number 999? Erm... well, let's just keep out of that one's way...

As well as the obvious stuff, Paradroid is a very clever program, with lots of cute little stuff that you might not necessarily notice. I mentioned the basic droid graphics while you're playing, but if you happen to dock with a console on one of the ship's decks, you can pull up a dossier on each of the robots... but only for those at the level you're at or below. Each dossier contains information including robot type and class, a brief description of its function and a picture, so that you can fill in the visual gaps while you play.

Hehehe...

Other features of note include the way you can only see other robots when they're in your line of sight... an awesome touch... and little things like the deck powering down when it's cleared of hostiles, or the ship's ever-changing Alert status being shown via coloured lights around the ship. I didn't notice that until I'd played the game for ages... it's a lovely, subtle touch.

With eight ships to clear, each with sixteen decks, Paradroid was always a massive challenge... and it remains so today. It was a stunning achievement in many ways, and has stood the test of time in that it remains great fun and very challenging to play. It's still a surprise to me that it hasn't been copied more... the actual game mechanics are sound, and the transfer element is something that surely has the scope to be used in today's games.

The inevitable reult when a class 2 robot confronts a class eight robot.

Maybe that's why it still feels quite fresh. There's not much like it out there, over twenty-five years later. There's still a genuine feel of tension as you trundle around the decks... and one of panic when you're on an empty deck with your energy running out! It could do with a save game function... once you get good at it, you can be on for a good while. Then again, it's an arcade game. You don't save arcade games, even sophisticated ones.

Paradroid is not just a Commodore 64 classic... it's an all-time videogame classic. No matter what Andrew Braybrook did after this, it was destined to be his legacy, and it's one for which he can be rightly proud. It's a game that's still loved to this day, and if Andrew ever fancies getting back into games programming, he could do a lot worse than starting off with a remake of Paradroid. In the likely even that that doesn't happen, we will always have this to fall back on, and for that we should be truly thankful.

Gribbly's Day Out (Commodore 64)

2011-06-04T12:57:00.001+01:00

With his toe dipped well and truly into the blue and cyan waters of the Commodore 64, Andrew Braybrook followed up the conversion of Steve Turner's Lunattack by coming up with his own creation, named Gribbly's Day Out. Great. But who or what the hell is Gribbly?

Gribbly (or Gribbly Grobbly, to give him/it his/its full name) is a Blabgorian. That is, a creature from Blabgor. Glad that's clear. Gribbly is a green creature, with no arms and one giant foot. He's not a handsome chap by our standards, but I'm sure on Blabgor he's something of a stunner.

Awww... look at de widdwe baby Gribblets...

Alright, enough of the silliness. Gribbly's Day Out sees you playing the titular monopod in babysitting mode, as eight baby Gribblets find themselves strewn about the Blabgorian landscape. That wouldn't be so bad, but Blabgor is a fairly hostile place, fraught with danger for the little Gribblets, and so Gribbly must collect them all and put them in a safe zone, so they can enjoy their day out without fear of death or kidnap.

Boing, boing... the web can't hurt you when you're in Bounce mode.

Kidnap? What kind of place is this? Well, it's a place of evolution. Although the creatures that inhabit each level start out as simple beings, they evolve into more complex (and dangerous) entities the longer you hang around. And to complete their cycle, they just happen to need Gribblets...

Come back with my baby!

It's very clever, the game's eco-system. If you're quick or observant enough, you can wipe out critters at certain stages of their development, which gives you more time to pick up the Gribblets and get them to safety. If you're not quick enough and a Flyer makes off with a Gribblet, you can still save it... if you're good enough.

Gribbly Grobbly fires bubbles, which (as mentioned before) can destroy certain creatures. One of those creatures is the Flyer, but if you drop it you'll have to catch the Gribblet in mid-air to save it! This will take some tricky manoeuvring on your part... the number of times I've frantically overshot a falling Gribblet, sometimes twice on the same fall, only to see it land safely on some flat ground can't be counted on the toes of one Gribbly Grobbly. Of course, if it doesn't land on flat ground, the consequences don't bear thinking about.

What a lovely place for Gribblets to play! As long as they don't fall in the pool...

This still sounds fairly easy, but you haven't got clear skies to idly roam around. For one, there is an electrified web on each level. This can be deactivated and reactivated easily, using the switches that are handily positioned around the area. But what the hell is an electrified web doing around a kiddies' play area? Well, it's there to contain Seon, the 6809 Beast...

Ah, he's just sitting there, I'll be alright...

I think that Seon is one of the most frightening bosses I've ever encountered. I would go so far as to say he's the Commodore 64 equivalent of Sinistar. He sits there, trapped, as you trundle about, happily collecting Gribblets and putting them into their playpen... until there's only one left, at which point the web completely deactivates. Seon is then free to come at you at speed, and he will. And if you're off-guard, then you're going to get a shock as he ploughs into you, crackling with anger, reducing your health to nothing at a stroke.

Aaaaargh! Ouch! Seon attacks, and Gribbly's precious energy is sapped.

What really makes Gribbly's Day Out work, and what makes it so good, is the control method. The game is a joy to play. There's a tricky inertia at work when Gribbly is flying, and if you're not careful you can find yourself ricocheting between obstacles in an energy-depleting rebound of doom. Once you get the hang of it, though, you can make seamless transitions from flying to bouncing, whizzing about the environment as though you've lived there your whole life. It's very satisfying indeed, never more so than pulling off a spectacular mid-air Gribblet rescue in the nick of time.

There may be grey skies, but it's still pretty.

And yet, even though you're soon patrolling the skies with the grace of a Spitfire... well, maybe a Sopwith Camel... the game never becomes easy. The clever progression system (you advance between one and three levels once you complete the level you're on, depending on how well you did) ensures that you're always on your toes. And even though you may be good at it, it's still very easy for one mistake to cause you real problems.

Gribbly's Day Out is an excellent game. It's really well balanced, enjoyable and challenging even by today's standards. It's one of those games that I'll fire up every now and then for a quick blast, and I usually end up spending an hour or more on it, trying to get further than the last time. There are sixteen levels... I've never seen them all, and I probably never will. But I can't see the time coming when I'll stop trying.

Lunattack (Commodore 64)

2011-05-24T20:47:00.012+01:00

And so it's on to Andrew Braybrook's Commodore 64 games, starting at the beginning (a very good place to start, so I hear) with Lunattack. Known as 3D Lunattack on the ZX Spectrum, it was the third in an ongoing series on that machine. When it came to the Commodore 64, it was the first and only entry.

It's been quite difficult to fill this post out. There's a severe lack of information on the internet regarding this game. There's not a single cover/box shot for the Commodore 64 version, and I can't find instructions anywhere. So I've pretty much had to wing it, which is fine... I do that quite often anyway, but I do like to do at least a bit of preparation before I start.

Ugh! What the hell is that? Blast it, quick!

Lunattack sees you piloting a craft above the surface of the moon, in an attempt to destroy the base of the evil Seiddab (if you're among the uninitiated, read that backwards...). It sounds easy enough, but as is always the way, they've had the evil sense to defend this base with an array of deadly weaponry. You're going to have to fight your way through that lot before getting to your main target.

Now, I didn't have a clue what I was doing, and I was probably doing it wrong anyway, so it's difficult to go into the game in any great detail. I read a couple of reviews of the Spectrum version that said it was like Battlezone. I don't think that's entirely accurate, although obviously there are elements of that game here. For instance, although you're flying, you always remain at the same height. This does open up the ability to attack both ground and air units, though. If you can find them, that is...

Tanks at two o'clock!

At times, Lunattack seems like a terribly barren game. You might strafe your way through a tank battalion, and then go for minutes without finding anything at all, other than the odd rock to avoid. Or rather, that's how it will seem until you discover the game's map screen...

Yes, by accidentally pressing the F1 key I found out that your game doesn't just randomly generate some stuff to throw at you if it can be bothered... there's a proper structure to things. Not only that, but the map is massive. And I didn't work out what all the symbols mean for ages, either...

Now, let's see... left at the purple skull... right at the mountain range... no, it's no use. We're lost.

There are plenty of different zones to fly through, with one nice touch being that you can see Earth in the distance if you're flying in the right direction. Some zones will set off a frightening alarm as they cause your hull to overheat... if you don't cool it down quickly, the ship will be destroyed. Others will be filled with tanks, rocks or flying "things", all of which must be either destroyed or avoided if you want to reach the Seiddab base.

If you've ever played an Andrew Braybrook game, you'll know that the presentation is usually excellent. And that's how it is with Lunattack, if you show a bit of patience. Rather than rushing straight into the game, if you let the opening sequence run for a while you'll get a bit of backstory and an explanation of the map's symbols and the game's scoring system. There's also an options screen where you can change your starting stage and level. If only I'd done that when I'd first loaded the game, rather than a couple of hours later...

Kapow! A missile finds its mark. There's lots more where that came from, too.

Lunattack appears to be much more epic than I'd originally thought. I should really have known better. I played it for about two hours and had a high score of 120... now I'm pushing forward and in danger of breaking 1,000. What's more, I want to. Discovering new games is cool... discovering hidden depths within those games is cooler still. I wouldn't say it's a stone cold classic... at least not yet. But it shows the promise that would be fulfilled in future games...

Andrew Braybrook - a quick C64 history.

2011-05-23T17:22:00.008+01:00

A while ago (a good while... sorry!), I ran a poll to decide what I should write about next, in series form. I've left it up... it's to the right there. As you'll see, the reading public decided that I should write about Andrew Braybrook's Commodore 64 games. Now, I've had a fair few distractions since then, but I'm moving on with that right now, so buckle up and get ready for a classic Commodore ride.

As is the case with a lot of my articles, I did some research on Andrew Braybrook before I started writing this. I knew a fair bit already... of course I did, he was one of the Commodore 64's biggest celebrities back in the day. I thought he'd written more Commodore 64 games than he actually had... although some of them were rewrites and upgrades. I still haven't decided whether or not to include those yet...

It turns out that I've never played Andrew's first or last Commodore 64 games. That gives me something extra to look forward to over the coming days... for while it's nice to revisit well-loved classics, it's embarking on a voyage of discovery that really makes this exciting for me.

The man himself! Responsible for about 30% of my worst homework assignments...

There was almost always an air of excitement around a new Braybrook game. The first one I followed excitedly was Paradroid, courtesy of ZZAP! 64's "Diary of a Game - The Birth of a Paradroid". You can read that here, at the rather splendid 'Def Guide to ZZAP! 64' website. I didn't even have a Commodore 64 at the time, although friends did, and I would often be found at one of their houses, marvelling at this amazing machine.

Little did I know at the time, but I'd already played an Andrew Braybrook game while I was reading this diary - his Gribbly's Day Out was a favourite from those snatched afternoons. The strange infant-collecting platformer was already renowned as something of a minor classic, and was an indicator of things to come from the programmer...

Paradroid, of course, blazed onto the scene with a fanfare and a shower of awards, and accusations of favouritism in certain quarters... but it really set out Braybrook's stall as a top-notch programmer, not just technically but as someone who could write amazing games. This was reiterated with the release of Uridium, one of the finest arcade shoot 'em ups on the 8-bits not just on its release, but in their entire lifespan.

Andrew released just three more original games on the C64... once its natural life was reaching an end, he started moving toward the more powerful machines. Alleykat was a space racer with guns... which was probably only partially successful. The massive, sprawling space epic Morpheus followed, and then his time on the 64 ended with something of a whimper, with the puzzle game, Intensity.

There's lots to look forward to there, especially if I include any of the Special Edition updates. But first it's back to the beginning, with a game I suspect few of us have played before... Lunattack.

Gaming things that need to stop. Number 1 - Unboxing videos.

2011-05-23T16:46:00.002+01:00

A mate of mine has suggested to me that I might fancy making video articles for my blog. I'm not against that - but if I'm going to do it, I have to do it right. One idea I had would see me playing a game I was able to complete when I was younger, and seeing whether I was still skilful enough to do it now. That one could work.

One thing that wouldn't work would be if I were to make an unboxing video. Now, when it comes to video games (well, all hobbies really, but particularly video games), there's a fine line between being a geek or a nerd. Most of us would accept being labelled a geek... some perhaps grudgingly, others proudly. Being a geek is alright, nothing wrong with that. Most of us , though, wouldn't want to be labelled a nerd. But if you make an unboxing video, you are, in fact, a nerd.

I'm holding the Climax Edition of Bayonetta. There's a game, an art book and a CD in there. How does that grab you?

Seriously - you're making us well-adjusted gamers look bad. People that don't indulge in our hobby think we're all like that. We're not. We're normal, rational people that work in offices and schools, and like to come home and play a video game for an hour or two to unwind. It's fun. People that don't play video games might watch a movie or a TV soap opera... it's all an escape from the drudgery of life.

I don't see what purpose an unboxing video serves. If someone is interested in the special edition of a game, then all you're doing is spoiling it for them, and given they've forked out a fair bit extra for the good stuff, that's a bit mean. If they're not interested... then they're not interested. No amount of breathless nerdy rambling will persuade them otherwise.

I love Deathsmiles, but is there really any need for this?

The commentary on an unboxing video is usually quite ridiculous. "Here's the shrinkwrap... I'm taking it off now". It's a video. Everyone can see what you're doing. They can see that you're opening the box. They can see that you're taking out the instructions. All you really need to talk about, for the benefit of the three weird people that have decided to watch a video of somebody opening a game, are the really unusual items that people who would prefer to buy three new games for the price of your one won't ever get to see.

I realise I'm being a bit mean-spirited here, and I suppose it's harmless enough. I should just leave alone those that get something out of watching some hamfisted spod ripping open the game he's just bought so he can clutch his plastic figure clad in +3 Armour of Majesty in his sweaty paw. But I just find the whole notion of watching somebody else either ruining my surprise or getting orgasmic over a plastic helmet a bit ridiculous. And I imagine non-gamers do, too. So stop the unboxing videos now, or the rest of the world might forever think we should all be on a register somewhere.

Sega Rally Online Arcade

2011-05-19T20:13:00.008+01:00

I love Sega Rally. From the arcade and Saturn versions right up to its rebirth on the 360, it's a great racing game. The original version was most definitely an arcade game... short, sharp bursts of racing on a small number of tracks, with hardly any cars available. It handled like a dream, and constantly kept you coming back for more in the hope of shaving milliseconds from your best times.

The current-gen update of Sega Rally (known as Sega Rally Revo in the States) was an altogether different beast in a lot of ways. It retained the awesome handling, but added loads of tracks in the form of Championships and Leagues. It was, and still is, eye-wateringly, hair-tearingly difficult. I mean, it's rock hard. Every now and then, I'll find myself loading it up in the forlorn hope of eking out a few points so that I can unlock the next League. It's so, so hard. And yet, I still love it.

Wonder if that place is open? I fancy a bacon sandwich.

Now we have Sega Rally Online Arcade, a Live Arcade title by Sumo Digital, weighing in at just 800 points. What a bargain! Or is it? I've had a good go at finding out.

Sega Rally Online Arcade follows OutRun Online Arcade in updating a classic Sega arcade game for the XBox Live Arcade market. OutRun Online Arcade was amazing, featuring the classic five-ending race and a Heart Attack Mode. It was also a great high score game, and I was involved in some epic tussles on my Friends Leaderboard, with positions changing all the time. In the end, my son Aidan, who was eight years old at the time, emerged at the top. Little swine.

Nothing like a quiet Sunday drive in the countryside. And this is nothing like, etc...

You're not going to get as much leaderboard fun out of SROA, because you don't score points. You're also not going to get as much depth... whereas OutRun has fifteen different stages to master, SROA has only five (as far as I know at this point - oh, and they're all similar to those in Sega Rally Revo). You can tackle three of them from the outset in the Quick Race Mode, and if you try the Championship and race through all three in first place, you will unlock Lakeside... finishing first in that one will see you unlock it for Quick Race play.

The fifth course is the classic Desert course from the original Sega Rally, and you get to race on that using the classic cars from that game. It's a lovely touch... it would be lovelier if you got all the original tracks (I don't know at this point that you don't, they may be unlockable, but it doesn't look like it).

Say hello to an old friend...

I have to say that the car handling feels different in this game to past games. I find that a bit odd in some ways... surely it should feel the same as the first 360 Sega Rally? But it's a bit more arcadey, a bit more forgiving. Whereas I love that first 360 game, it really is rock hard and that's offputting to some. This one can be blasted through fairly easily. It's an exercise in fun. You wouldn't enjoy battling your buddies if you were gnashing your teeth at the difficulty level, would you?

So, it doesn't sound like you get that much, but it's only 800 points, which is a bit less than seven quid. And I think the focus is set more firmly on the Online aspect... this IS an arcade game, and the intention is to fire it up for a quick blast with your mates, with the single player mode being ideal for practicing or if you fancy a bit of high-speed action without any major time commitment. I reckon it does the job very well for the price... see you on the beach!

Operation WOW (iPhone/iPod Touch/iPad)

2011-05-08T21:50:00.006+01:00

If you played arcade games in the Eighties, the chances are that at some point, you played Operation Wolf. Whether it was on the giant arcade machine, with its massive front-mounted guns, or on one of the excellent home ports, you've probably heard or seen the words "Sorry, but you are finished... here".

Oooh, my very own arcade!

I played the Commodore 64 and Amiga versions, and although they were (obviously) lacking the guns, they played incredibly well. The 64 version gave me terrible cramp in my hand from the constant blasting, whereas the Amiga version could be played using the mouse, which felt better, and it looked really good, too. It's been a long time, though...

I was intrigued to hear of Operation WOW, which promised Wolf-style action on Apple's tiny devices. I wasn't sure if that could work, but as it's free, I figured I had nothing to lose...

That's quite a lot of hardware to be up against.

And I'm very glad that I started off that download, because Operation WOW is really good. In fact, it IS Operation Wolf, albeit with much more cartoony graphics. Other than that, the levels are the same, and I think that even the layouts are the same. They certainly look familiar.

The aim is the same as ever... blast your way through six levels to rescue the hostages/POWs/whatever they are. Different environments pose different problems, but mainly, you're blasting soldiers, tanks, boats and helicopters, and all the while they're assaulting you with whatever they can throw at you.

Ooohhhhh... you'd love to, wouldn't you?

I was both heartened and amused to find that even the comedy touches had been retained for things like extra weapons pickups... shooting indigenous wildlife such as pigs or buzzards will see grenades or bullets left behind. I'd rather have bacon, but in this game you take what you can get.

The developers have even thrown in a couple of mini-games, just in case the main game isn't enough for you. There's a target shooting game, where you need to clear all the targets as quickly as possible while avoiding the red herrings. And there's an amusing little effort called Meat Ninja... which is the same as well-regarded iPhone game Fruit Ninja, except that different meats are thrown in the air and you have to blast them. Funny.

They've shot me! THROUGH THE FACE!

Operation WOW is a splendid effort, even if it is a throwback to a different era. The cartoony graphics do make a difference in bringing it up to date, but other than that, this is the same classic game that you remember from the past. For free, it's excellent, and if you like arcade gun games then you really ought to download this right now.

Operation WOW (iPhone/iPod Touch)
Operation WOW HD (iPad)

Sword of Sodan (Commodore Amiga)

2011-05-08T17:42:00.006+01:00

I remember the day my mate bought Sword of Sodan from Maughan Micro Computers, a pokey little shop in the Metro Centre. I was there, and it wasn't that long after he'd got his Amiga. He had a few games with it at that point, although a lot of them had come with the machine... Wizball, The Karate Kid Part II (I wonder where that one went?), for example. Of course, having stepped up from the Commodore 64, it was very easy to be seduced by screenshots on the back of the box. And Sword of Sodan's screenshots were amazing.

Phwoar, look at her! Or him, if that's your preference.

Back to his we went, and opened the game. Three disks! Three! It had to be amazing! In actuality, it just meant a lot of loading. And not much game, as it turned out... I think we completed it on our first go, taking turns as we progressed through the levels. It was a bit disappointing in that respect, but on the other hand, it did provide a sense that this computer was the future.

I thought I'd give it another go now, to see just how it fared more than twenty years later.

Halt, stranger!

To be fair, it's not really a very good game. It's a straightforward left-to-right scrolling beat 'em up, but it's no Double Dragon or Streets of Rage. It kind of reminds me of an odd game called Great Gurianos, in fact. When I say "left-to-right", I mean left-to-right... it all takes place on a single plane, in a single direction. So there's absolutely no strategy involved... you just have to slash and jump at the right times. Oh, you can duck, or do an overhead hit... that's a total of three fighting moves. And occasionally you pick up potions which have varying effects.

...that didn't end as they'd expected...

For a game that was bought on the basis of its screenshots, the graphics aren't really all that good, looking at them now. When static, they're a massive step up from the 64, with huge figures taking up large amounts of the screen. The animation isn't much cop, though, and although the different game areas are nice and varied, the enemies within aren't, with usually only one or two of a kind on any one level.

Moments later, the giant's head was removed from his shoulders. The bigger they are...

Having slaughtered the game to this point, I have to say I found it kind of refreshing to play something so straightforward. These days, everything has to be so complex. There's some merit to a game that sets out its stall in such a basic fashion. Sword of Sodan is not a game I would buy on any format if it were released today, but I can actually see myself playing it again at some point. Not sure if that speaks more about the game or my personality.

Top 10 of '10: Number 1 - Bayonetta (XBox 360)

2011-05-08T15:48:00.002+01:00

So here we are, with my number one most enjoyed game of 2010. And who'd have thought that a game released in the second week of 2010 would hang on to my top spot all year? Not many, but from the day I played the demo of Bayonetta, I had a bit of a feeling. About the game... what did you think I meant?

If you ignore the fact that you play a witch who is clothed in her own hair, which becomes a super-powerful weapon at her command... oh, who am I kidding? It's impossible to ignore that. But for all that it's absolutely mind-bogglingly crazy, Bayonetta actually has a good, well fleshed-out story to complement the frenetic gameplay.

That woman's in the nip!

Bayonetta is a witch without a memory... but after 500 years asleep, that's not really surprising. The story begins with Bayonetta trying to regain her memories, and indeed they do come back, piece by piece... usually awoken by some catastrophic event or a character from her past. It becomes apparent that there are two factions of witches, representing the dark and light sides. As long as balance remains between the two, the world will be a good place to live in. But, of course, that balance is threatened, and this threat seems to revolve around Bayonetta...

It's like Kung-Fu... with added kick!

The game plays like Devil May Cry... as it should, both games were directed by the same fella. But I always found the Devil May Cry series a bit po-faced. I quite enoyed them for what they were, but ultimately they were all a bit too difficult for me, and a bit too dry.

That's never a problem with Bayonetta. Right from the start, where you're on a falling clock tower (falling from where, I don't know, but it falls a looong way), battling demonic angels in strange forms, you know that this is an action game with its tongue planted firmly in its cheek.

Alright, I can't even begin to stress how much wrong is in this picture.

Bayonetta took a lot of flak before it was even released, all because of its main character. She was regarded as being a blatant sex object, only in the game to sell as many copies as possible to teenage boys and old pervs. However, once you actually played the game, you realised that the sexuality is all done with a sly wink and an outrageously over-the-top sense of style. It's great fun.

See this? This is about as straightforward as it gets.

What's more fun is the gameplay. I can't remember the last game to make me grin quite as much as this one. It's quite preposterous in so many ways, but never in a way that makes you question why you're playing it. You're dropped in at the deep end, being under attack right from the start with little explanation... that comes as you progress.

Once again, Bayonetta finds herself in a hairy situation...

While at first it just seems like a hack-and-slash game with lovely graphics, things soon take a turn for the better... pretty much the first time you encounter any kind of boss. They're massive, and often quite ridiculous, but always imaginative. Any time you're attacked by anything with an upside-down baby head is a bit disturbing. Luckily, you can counter any such monstrosity with a monster of your own, made from the finest jet black hair. Yes, Bayonetta uses her witchly powers to summon forth some incredible-looking creatures from her hair, and these things deal some almighty damage. It might sound ludicrous, but when it happens under your control, it's amazing.

Look, I'm a reasonable guy, but I've just seen some very unreasonable things.

Games such as this do sometimes have a bad habit of becoming samey, but Bayonetta has a few tricks thrown in to mix things up a little. There are "Alfheim Portals" to be discovered... mini-challenges that are hidden away and, if found, can be beaten for a reward. Then there are the little things thrown in as a service to Sega fans... just wait until you see the OutRun and Space Harrier tributes...

Well, I'm very happy to be here...

Bayonetta might not be the most serious of games, and with some epic and perhaps more worthy games being released last year, it probably didn't top many end-of-year polls for Best Game. But I had way more enjoyment out of this game in 2010 than any other. Its action was great, always imaginitive and inventive, and it had a sense of humour unlike anything I'd played before. I completed it, and have gone back to it with the intention of completing it again. And when I've done that, I just might do it again. It's one of the best games of this generation, without a doubt.

Top 10 of '10: Number 2 - Deadly Premonition (XBox 360)

2011-04-28T14:41:00.004+01:00

Sorry, Zach. Much as I enjoyed spending time with you, in the end it wasn't quite enough to see your game take its place at number one in my Top 10 of '10.

Deadly Premonition is, without a shadow of a doubt, an absolute certainty to go down as a cult classic. But why is it a cult classic, rather than a flat-out, bona fide classic?

You wouldn't get that in an episode of Midsomer Murders.

Cult classic - often associated with underground culture, and considered too eccentric, bizarre, controversial or anti-establishment to be appreciated by the general public.

Yep. That's Deadly Premonition.

On the face of it, Deadly Premonition is rubbish. It couples previous-gen quality graphics with clunky controls, and usually that's pretty much a death knell for any game released in 2010. This game, however, rises above initial expectations through its incredible content.

Well, there's something you don't see every day.

The game begins in shocking fashion, with two children exploring a wood and finding a bloodied, naked woman bound to a very bizarre tree. If you've ever watched a cop show from Columbo onward, you'll know that a case like this is beyond the local smalltown cops, and that a specialist will need to be summoned to deal with it. And in Deadly Premonition, that specialist is Agent Francis York Morgan...

Well, everything in this picture looks wrong.

I'm pointing this out because, when you first start playing the game, you'll think the guy (and maybe even the game) is a joke. But in actual fact, you'll come to find out that Agent Francis York Morgan is one of the best, most complex and most interesting characters ever placed in a mere videogame.

Yeah, that's him!

There are so many great aspects to Agent Morgan... his refusal to drive above the speed limit in a police car, for example, would normally be frustrating, but in this case it's quite funny. His knowledge of obscure 80s films is phenomenal, and the conversations he has about them are well worth spending the time in the car with him. And he obviously has an incredible knowledge of bizarre homicides, as he takes great delight in telling the local cops...

Judging by the way it's raining, I'm guessing he won't be using that axe for chopping firewood...

Like the game I placed at number three, Red Dead Redemption, Deadly Premonition is heavily story-driven. And there is an element of the open-world to this game, if you care to look for it. The game does lead you down the path required to play through the story, and you are forced to do certain things at certain times. But you are given an element of freedom to explore between these times. You can go around the town and just sit in on other folks' business, you can follow them around and see what they get up to in the course of a normal day, or you can go and play Peeping Tom with smalltown cop Emily Wyatt. What?

Hey, how did he manage to get Naomi Watts in his car?

When approaching Deadly Premonition, there's a danger of falling into the trap that you're only liking it because it's so bad that it's good. I don't think that is the case... it really is good. Damn good. Even the clunky gameplay elements can be worked around, in a kind of RPG-lite fashion... if you're willing to explore the game enough, you can find weapons with unlimited ammunition or that can't be damaged (great), or can cut out the road travel. You don't want to do that second one, though... Agent York's conversations with "Zach" are among this game's many highlights.

Hey, he's your imaginary friend...

I've read that Deadly Premonition is very similar to Twin Peaks... it probably works to my advantage that I haven't seen Twin Peaks, if that's the case. And for all I've maligned the clunkiness of the gameplay, it's still effective. In fact, the survival horror aspects are incredibly effective. Because they only happen every so often, as extraordinary events in a mundane world, they work far better than if the game was all survival horror. When you turn up somewhere and it's all gone wrong, it's really chilling and unnerving, and when the Raincoat Killer appears and makes a beeline for you, it really gets the heart pounding. Especially when you're hiding in a cupboard, holding your breath...

I think we're in a bit of trouble, Zach...

I bought Deadly Premonition on the day it was released, for the princely sum of twenty pounds. I bought it on the strength of a few reviews I'd read, and I expected to get some laughs out of it. And I did. But I got a hell of a lot more than that besides... I got a truly memorable videogame, memorable for all the right reasons as well as a few wrong ones. I like a quirky game with its own personality, and Deadly Premonition is nothing if not its own game. Don't write this one off because it's bizarre... embrace it because of it, lose yourself in it and absorb it. My coffee says you won't regret it.

Top 10 of '10: Number 3 - Red Dead Redemption (XBox 360)

2011-04-28T12:41:00.003+01:00

From the minute I first heard about Red Dead Redemption, I knew I would love it. What I wasn't prepared for was the way in which I would love it.

I played Red Dead Revolver a fair bit when it was originally released, and although I found it a little on the tough side, I still really enjoyed it. It was fairly strictly set up, having you play through a level at a time, but it had a lot of the feel and spirit of the likes of the classic Spaghetti Westerns.

Hmmm. Where next, I wonder?

Red Dead Redemption got rid of some of that linearity by putting you in an open world. And what a world! For the first few days, there was no greater joy than sitting on my horse, slowly wandering along a mountain trail at sun-up. I wasn't even that bothered about playing the game in terms of following the storyline... I was quite happy to wander into town and have a late-night poker game with the boys.

Snap! Oh, wait...

And they really did feel like "the boys"... where Red Dead Redemption excels is with its characters. You get to spend a fair bit of time with some of the characters in this game, and it's done so well that you feel a true affinity with some of them. Good writing, good voice acting... all very important parts of setting up a game like this that are so often overlooked.

Don't you hate it when you just miss the bus?

Of course, you do need a good game to go with it, and obviously this is a very good game. There's a lot to do here as you shepherd John Marston along his path of inevitable destiny. If you wander the land, and you really should wander the land, you'll encounter all kinds of strangers with their own stories that need to be resolved. Some of them are fairly straightforward, some are weird... some are downright hilarious. They're all jobs worth seeing through to the end.

Ohhh, man... I wish I'd remembered my sandwiches this morning.

If you're not in any mood for the indigenous townsfolk, then you can always go a-huntin' or a flower-pickin'. Say what? Yes, Marston is something of an enigma, in that he'll happily catalogue every species of flower in the game. There are rewards for such actions though... similarly for the gathering of dead animals. It adds a bit of purpose to your freestyle wand'rin'.

Red sky at night, shepherds' delight.

That's the real joy, for me... you can play the game at whatever pace you like. You're not rushed breathlessly from one story point to another... you're given license to wander around, taking in the sights, doing a bit of hunting should you wish, playing card games if you wish, or actually doing nothing, if you wish. When you're ready to move on, you can trigger the next event at your leisure.

This is both a plus and a minus... it made it too easy for me to push the game aside and look at other games. That's the only reason it's "only" at number three for me. Red Dead Redemption is a stunning game, stunning in every way. You really do get wrapped up in Marston's tale. I've hopped back into it now after re-visiting it to write about it, and I'm really looking forward to finishing the story.

Top 10 of '10: Number 4 - Enslaved: Odyssey to the West (XBox 360)

2011-04-23T17:14:00.004+01:00

I hadn't heard of Enslaved at all, until just before the release of its demo. I think it was a week or two prior to that, maybe even with the announcement of the demo, that I started to look into it. And the more I looked, the more intrigued I became.

If you're anywhere around my age (and I'll be hitting 40 later this year), you'll have watched the well-remembered TV show, Monkey. And that was probably your first exposure to what is regarded as a classic Chinese story, called Journey to the West. It centres around three main characters: Monkey, Tripitaka and Pigsy. And here's where the point emerges: Enslaved: Odyssey to the West is a futuristic re-telling of that classic tale.

Not quite a romantic walk in the park.

Enslaved kicks off in startling fashion. The first level serves as both a tutorial and an introduction to the two main characters, Monkey and Trip, both of whom you will play through the game, although mostly you'll be Monkey. You're on some kind of flying craft, possibly a spacecraft, that is on fire, breaking up and heading for a crash on a dystopian futureworld. Monkey appears to be a prisoner, but manages to escape from his prison pod, whereupon he sees Trip (a young woman in this iteration of the tale) making a desperate bid to escape. Naturally, Monkey wants in...

Awww... look at her. You'd want to look after her, too...

That first level is a thrilling race against time, with you desperately scrabbling to get to the relative safety of the escape pod before either it launches or the giant craft crashes. Of course, with it being a video game, you can just restart if you fail. But there's a really frantic feel to proceedings as you throw yourself onwards, making terrifying last-ditch jumps and grabbing for tiny handholds.

Hey! You! Get off of my cloud!

Now, that all sounds far more exciting than the actual gameplay... in truth, you can't actually fail jumps or miss handholds. You can be too slow in performing them, at which point you fail, but you can't miss them. I know that a lot of people complained about this "hand-holding", preferring instead to have the platforming left entirely to their own skills. I came to love this method, as it allowed you to play the game and still concentrate on the surroundings (which are gorgeous), and the characters and story (which are excellent).

Monkey, you're a fine figure of a man... just like me.

As I've said, the story is cribbed from an old classic, as are the characters. But just taking those characters and plonking them into a videogame is not a guarantee of success. It still takes a lot of skill to work them into something you actually believe in. Fortunately, an amazing job was done with all aspects of the characterisation. The protagonists' expressions are wonderfully evocative and their lines are delivered superbly, as you would expect of the top-notch actors that were hired for the parts (the casting of Pigsy, in particular, is incredibly inspired and I burst out laughing when I realised who it was). You believe in these people, and it's fair to say I felt a genuine emotional involvement in the development of their plight.

Surfing with the alien. Oh, OK... I'll stop now.

It's a pretty lengthy game, although the relative ease of many aspects of the gameplay should see seasoned veterans ploughing through it in fairly short order. But I think that would be missing the point. This is a game you want to absorb... it's all very well comboing a load of mechs into oblivion, but if you don't take the time to see why you're doing it or where the story is going, I can't imagine it would be half as satisfying.

I've got your back...

Enslaved: Odyssey to the West is a superb piece of entertainment, which successfully places a good story into a good video game, and with the enhancements of superb production values and acting and the most believable character faces I've ever seen, the whole thing meshes into more than the sum of its parts. Even though the actual gameplay is quite simple, it's the combination of the elements that make this something special, and I hope that Enslaved becomes an important stepping stone in the evolution of story-driven video games.

Top 10 of '10: Number 5 - Split/Second (XBox 360)

2011-04-22T16:48:00.004+01:00

Out of all the games on the list, Split/Second is perhaps the one that surprised me the most. I mean, I do love a good racing game, but this one was up against the heavily-hyped Blur as direct competition, and although developer Black Rock had a racing pedigree, Blur came from Bizarre Creations, who apart from the Geometry Wars games were known for a little series called Project Gotham Racing...

OK, so we can only have two fielders outside the circle here... what?

Split/Second comes at the racing game from a different angle, pitting you as a contestant in a dangerous high-speed TV show. To bolster that impression, the whole front end is served up TV-style, with an announcer, erm, announcing where each episode will take place and what will be involved. When playing through a Season, you get to choose the running order. That's crazy, what would the TV executives say?

As far as gameplay goes, I reckon that Split/Second comes off as kind of a cross between Burnout, The Running Man and ITV's Run The Gauntlet (who remembers that little gem?). The racing is fast and furious, some of the events are a lot more interesting than you'd expect to find in a racing game (you don't normally expect to find heavily-armed helicopters or trucks spewing explosive barrels in your way), and the stunts are spectacular...

It's all going wrong here...

Let's talk a bit more about those stunts. As the game is rigged to be like a TV show, there are explosives and set-pieces all over the place. Of course, they're no fun if they just sit there, so by racing in a dangerous or daring fashion, you're able to build up a powerplay meter. This has a number of levels... at its most basic, you can trigger it and take out a number of opponents if you time it right.

At its most powerful, though, you can unleash a course-changing catastrophe, some of which include bringing down a building, crashing a plane onto a runway or blowing away sections of a dam. These events are truly spectacular, and the first time you set them off it's a real jaw-dropping moment, and if you come through the other side unscathed you come away with a real adrenaline rush and a huge grin on your face.

Go me-ee! Go me-ee!

There are a couple of slightly weak points... the racing, thrilling though it is, has a tendency to have some harsh rubber-band AI. I don't particularly mind that, but I know that some people do, so it's worth bearing in mind. Also, considering the fact that the game is set up as a TV show, not enough is made of that through the actual racing. It would be nice to have the point reinforced now and then (not incessantly) with a little commentary on key events. Another thing... if you wreck a racer I reckon they should be out of the race and replaced by another competitor, although that might make it tricky when it came to you being wrecked...

Yeah, well, it's not like it hasn't happened before...

Those are minor quibbles, though, and don't serve to spoil what is an extraordinary video game racer. I don't usually sell or trade in that many games (although I might be having an eBay blowout in my week off!), but sometimes needs must, and after I'd seen the end credits on Split/Second I flogged it off and put the money towards something else. I kind of regret that, and in fact I'm going to re-buy it, such was my enjoyment of the game. If you haven't played Split/Second yet, I'd highly recommend you hunt it down yourself.

Top 10 of '10: Number 6 - Game Room (XBox 360)

2011-04-17T14:56:00.001+01:00

In some ways, it pains me to put Game Room in my top 10. Arriving with something of a fanfare and the promise of several new arcade games a week, the ability to design your own arcade and to have friends over to visit, it sounded like a retro gamer's dreams come true. Well, barring a lottery win and buying an entire real arcade, that is.

At first, Game Room seemed great, despite the lack of publishers at the outset... all we were given were Konami and Atari arcade games, Atari and Activision 2600 games, and games for the Intellivision. Not exactly "arcade" games in many cases, but still interesting in many cases, and it meant we got to discover some of the more obscure arcade classics from Atari and Konami. But the fact that the release of the first add-on pack of games was delayed should have been a warning to us all...

I've got no more tens left now...

Still, I bought loads of games, played them all, unlocked new stuff for my arcade and earned loads of Achievements. It seemed a bit odd that we were still only getting games from the same few companies, but everyone expected the announcement of new parties before long.

And then it all went wrong. There were no new parties announced. Krome, the developer, was shuttered. Pack 13, ominously, was sent out in one go, rather than over three weeks, as had been the norm for a while. A Christmas present, perhaps? Apparently not... there have been no new releases for Game Room in 2011. And there hasn't been a single word from Microsoft as to what's going on with it. So you have to figure it's dead.

Arrrr... here, there be... ducks?

And the worst thing of all for me... after gaining 980 of 1000 Achievement points, and putting in around 30 hours, I was forced into an update... which completely wiped all my progress. And with the only Achievement I haven't yet won being for playing for 36 hours... well, I was too crestfallen to continue.

Which is ridiculous, really. For all I've said up there, I spent a lot of money and had a lot of fun out of Game Room in 2010. And I do still own all those games, and I do still enjoy them, so I'm sure to play again over time. Even though it's a dead duck in 2011, it was good enough to be my number six of 2010.

Top 10 of '10: Number 7 - Need for Speed: Hot Pursuit (XBox 360)

2011-04-17T14:42:00.002+01:00

This was always going to be a tricky one for me to look at, because I was coming into it with a massive sense of bias. Need for Speed: Hot Pursuit 2 on the PS2 is possibly my favourite racing game of all time, so I had a tremendous sense of anticipation for this one, and when that's the case, it's often possible to convince yourself that a game is awesome when it really isn't. So with that in the back of my mind, I put my sensible head on, remained objective, and played the latest entry in the Need for Speed series with a clear mindset.

Need for Speed: Hot Pursuit is awesome.

Rather than have an open world where you drive around looking for events, Criterion have gone back more towards the roots of NFS, and although you can drive around Seacrest County (where the game is located), events are chosen from the map, a lot like that in Burnout 3: Takedown (also a Criterion game). That leads to a more focused game with less boring bits... if you feel like having a look around, great... I don't like being forced to do it just to find bits of game.

Forza! No... it's Need for Speed Hot Pursuit...

As is the norm for any racer these days, you start out in some "lesser" cars (that said, there's nothing here that you'd feel embarrassed going to the supermarket in) and earn access to better and better ones as you progress. And as you do move further along, you gain access to "weapons"... nothing stupid, just the same equipment the cops have got, such as EMP or spike strips. This adds a little bit extra, but without being over the top.

Now, about being a cop. I never really enjoyed that mode as much as I could have in NFSHP2. Stopping the racers always felt a little difficult... you could ram them and park in front of them, and they'd cheekily reverse off and be out of sight as your time limit came to an end. Slightly annoying, that. However, in what is a stroke of genius this time around, Criterion have changed the cop mode into the nearest thing you'll ever find to a new version of Chase HQ in 2010 (or 2011, as it is now).

And if you look to your right, you'll see the lovely Stegosaurus.

Now, this all sounds just about perfect, but although I love this game, I've been a little frustrated by it. The main reason for that is... I'm rubbish at spotting the shortcuts. You might wonder how; after all, there are tons of them. But I get so into the actual racing that the scope of my vision doesn't stray far from the actual road and cars. As a result of that, although I can usually scrape through to the end of the race, my ten-year-old son has beaten me by some seemingly impossible amounts of time on some tracks. How the hell does he do it? Easily, I suspect... just as I would have if I hadn't started getting old...

Need for Speed Hot Pursuit has basically everything I want from an arcade racer. So why isn't it higher in the list? Well, this is my top 10 favourite games of 2010, based on how much time I put into a game and how much I enjoyed it over the year. For a while, I thought this might have been my number one game of the year. But once my progress was halted, I moved on to other things. And although I do love this game and expect to until the next one comes out, there have been others this year that I've enjoyed for longer...

Top 10 of '10: Number 8 - VVVVVV (PC)

2011-04-09T10:09:00.005+01:00

I just about squealed with glee when I first played VVVVVV. That was just before I nearly put my controller through the screen of my laptop in frustration...

VVVVVV is another indie game, although it's now available through the mighty Steam, so it's not exactly difficult to get hold of. The reason I almost squealed with glee is that VVVVVV loads like a Commodore 64 game... and then when it's loaded, it looks and almost sounds like a Commodore 64 game. The reason I almost put my controller through the screen is that it plays like a Commodore 64 game...

But I don't mean that in a bad way.

Old computers are so fiddly...

VVVVVV is a platform game in the grand tradition, albeit with a slight twist. You can't actually jump... instead, you can do a gravity flip. So from running along a floor, you'll flip onto the ceiling. And then you'll flip back down onto the floor. It takes a bit of getting used to, but once you do it works well, and lends itself to some pretty tricky puzzley manoeuvring.

Stopping you from getting about are spikes... that's where the game gets its title from. In another homage to the old-school platformers, each screen has its own name. Unlike those games, you might not spend long on some of those screens. You whizz about at a fair old pace... too fast if you're not careful. It's all too easy to overcook it and land on a rack of spikes. Ouchie.

Who the hell builds a spaceship like this, anyway?

I've bought VVVVVV twice now... once it was released on Steam, I picked up a second copy in the sale, and it's now only £3.99 at its full price, so I'll once again recommend it to anyone that's a child of the Eighties and loved a rock hard platform game. I was torn about whether or not to put this above Hydorah, but despite its difficulty I actually progressed further with VVVVVV than I did with Hydorah and had more nostalgia-fuelled giggles, so although I probably enjoy Hydorah a little more now, VVVVVV just squeaks in as my eighth most-enjoyed game of 2010.

Top 10 of '10: Number 9 - Hydorah (PC)

2011-04-07T21:42:00.008+01:00

Finding new games in the genuine old arcade style these days can be a bit tricky. The current generation of consoles is a decent place to look, with big name companies producing updated versions of their classics, and services like XBox Live's Indie Games being an outlet for bedroom coders to release their latest homages to games from yesteryear. WiiWare and Playstation Network are great outlets for indie innovation, and the iPhone has risen to great heights as a gaming platform. The PC though, as ever, still seems to be the main breeding ground for small-but-great arcade games. Even so, it still takes something really special to stand out... and Hydorah is something really special.

Don't have much choice here... liberation of the human colony it is!

I'm not entirely sure where I discovered Hydorah, but I will remain eternally grateful to that person or place. The reason for this is that Hydorah is a Gradius/Nemesis-inspired shooter, and I happen to be rather fond of that particular arcade game.

Of course, there are plenty of Gradius-inspired shooters that aren't very good. But with Hydorah, programmer Locomalito obviously took a lot of time, care and attention in making sure that this game was a fantastic and authentic shmup.

Isn't the countryside nice? Lush green grass, rolling hills, deadly enemy spaceships...

Hydorah features sixteen levels, although the chances are you'll never see most of them. As I said, this is an authentic arcade shooter, and that authenticity extends to its difficulty level - it's rock! Actually, in saying that, if you're careful then you should progress quite well. Any time you die, it's your own fault, the game will never cheat you. But you do have to be good... really good... if you want to get anywhere.

In a way that's a bit of a shame, because there's so much to love in Hydorah. Of course, there's a huge amount of stuff to blast. It looks absolutely gorgeous, and sounds great too, with some music sounding similar to classic SNES tunes. It's even got little secrets tucked away to try and discover. But as I said, you might never see most of them.

In an interesting twist, if you destroy that factory you'll lose points.

Still, Hydorah is truly worth persevering with, particularly if you have any love at all for Gradius, or any 80s arcade shoot 'em up, really. It's a wonderful piece of work, which makes it all the more surprising that it's free. I would seriously pay good money for this game. I'm not sure if there's a Donate option because the website is down at the moment, but you can download the game here: Hydorah download. I would seriously recommend anyone download this immediately. If it's your thing, there are also two soundtracks available: the original soundtrack, and a selection of arranged tracks.

Hydorah is a brilliant homage to the glory days of the arcades, and a fantastic game in its own right. The only reason it isn't higher on my list is because I'm rubbish at it. But that hasn't stopped me from playing...

EDIT: The website is back up now, and there is indeed a "Donate" button. So I'll be chipping in, it's well worth it. Have a look at the site, there are some cool extra materials, such as an instruction manual, and everything you need to make a DVD version of the game.

Top 10 of '10: Number 10 - Pinball FX2 (XBox 360)

2011-04-06T21:59:00.002+01:00

I'm rubbish at pinball. I don't even understand it, to be honest. You have all these objectives that you're supposed to complete, and I never know what I'm supposed to do. So I just bat the ball around the table for as long as possible. And that's OK. I enjoy that. It's all good.

But you'll already know all that if you read my take on it back in October.

Never saw Spidey resort to using shiny metal balls in his fight against crime.

Since I first played Pinball FX2, Zen Studios have released a series of Marvel-themed tables, which I have also bought. They're all pretty good, and having familiar sights and sounds on a table adds a bit extra to the appeal. So altogether, with the imported tables from Pinball FX, I've got seventeen tables on my Xbox 360. That's one of the best things about playing old-school games on a modern system... where the hell would I store them all if they were real tables?

Careful, Wolfie. You'll have the table on tilt with your temper.

Pinball FX2 is probably one of the ultimate “casual” games for me... I really only tend to play it when I'm not in the mood for anything specific or can't be bothered trawling through my shelves of partially-played games. It's a great way to kill fifteen minutes or so, too... and I've killed an awful lot of fifteen minutes', I have to say.

And that's about it, really. Besides the great online Friends' leaderboards, there's nothing terribly revolutionary here, just an awful lot of good pinball. But what more would you want from a pinball game? Pinball FX2 does exactly what it's supposed to, and that was enough to land it at Number 10 in my rundown.

Top 10 of '10 - Intro.

2011-04-04T21:21:00.000+01:00

So, 2010, then... wasn't it a good year for games?

To be fair though, you can say that about every year. There are always tons of games released, and if you sift through them, you're guaranteed to find a number of gems that make it all worthwhile. There aren't actually many rubbish games any more... but it can be a crushing disappointment when something you've been looking forward to for ages turns out to be no better than mediocre.

I had a lot of fun in 2010, with plenty of games floating my boat. They weren't all games that I'd expected to love... some, I hadn't heard of until just before release, others were unassuming little indie games that turned out to be awesome. And yes, there were the bona fide blockbusters that lived up to all the hype.

They all combined to make 2010 a pretty memorable year, with some titles that really stood out, for one reason or another. What I've done is list them in order of how much I enjoyed them, rather than what I think is "best". There's no definitive "best", but anyway, those lists have already been done to death by all the major (and minor) sites and magazines. Far better from my point of view to celebrate the games I've played the most and enjoyed the most... I hope you enjoy reading about them.

Back to the Future (Commodore 64)

2011-03-27T16:30:00.010+01:00

The clocks went forward this morning, but in reality we went back... Back... To The Future!

Cough.

Still, what better way to use a tenuous link for an impromptu piece of blogging? And with that settled in my mind, I loaded up Back to the Future, on the Commodore 64.

Isn't he a dreamboat?

The Back to the Future game follows the plot of the film, to a degree, in that you're stuck in Hill Valley in 1955, and you need to get your parents-to-be together and get the hell out of then. Naturally, this involves picking up objects and using them in the right places. Yes.

It's not that hard to figure out the puzzles in Back to the Future... there are only five locations, and five items to be used. Even if some of them are a bit obscure... why, for instance, does the radiation suit make Lorraine stand still?... the permutations are so few that you should have it sussed in little time.

Why don't you make like a tree, and get outta here?

To make it more difficult, your time in the game depends upon the photo of your family remaining intact. In effect, this is your energy level, and it has two levels in itself. The photo of Marty decays more quickly... when it is gone, a piece will decay from the family photo. When that one's gone, you're outta time.

That doesn't sound too harsh, but every time you bump into Lorraine, the photos will decay like there's no tomorrow (which, conincidentally, there won't be if you don't complete the game). And as there are so few locations, she's there all the bloody time. It doesn't help that Biff will knock you on your arse every so often, and while you're sitting there, Lorraine is usually standing fawning over you, draining your life all the while.

Jesus, George, it's a wonder I was even born.

You can replenish your photo, though. If you should successfully use an object in the right place on the right person, that'll help. If you can get George and Lorraine to the dance hall and use the guitar, they'll have a little dance and you'll get some energy back. Hurrah!

It all sounds kinda cute, and all, but... it's rubbish. The graphics are horrible, and don't give you any kind of feeling of being in the movie. The lack of locations is a major detriment to longevity with the game, especially seeing as they're all right next to each other. The characters themselves trudge about, looking as though they wished their time was up. And the music, which could have been a high point, consists of a couple of ropey renditions of the film's songs.

The Enchantment Under The Sea Dance! Of course!

If there's a movie tie-in game that Back to the Future reminds me of, it's... E.T. What? Yep... think about it. You have a huge film, but with no obvious gameplay aspects. The game has hardly any locations to visit, and very few characters from the film. The characters in the game are very blocky and barely recognisable. A couple of the characters are huge nuisances that spoil your game for you. You could easily be reading about either E.T. or Back to the Future here. And E.T. is not a great template to use for your film tie-in game. I would hardly say that Back to the Future is a waste of potential, because it would have been hard to make a decent game out of it, but this one makes you wish that the Libyans had got Marty as well.

Zybex (Commodore 64)

2011-03-23T17:26:00.003Z

Remember an arcade game called Side Arms? It was a horizontally-scrolling shoot 'em up for one or two players, where you flew fellas in suits across the landscape blasting all and sundry, and collecting bolt-on power-ups to upgrade your weaponry. It was an alright blaster, if nothing special.

Hey! Didn't I see you in Delta?

The Commodore 64 version, though, was a bit rubbish. And then, from out of nowhere and from an unassuming little budget software house, came a game called Zybex. It was the first release from Zeppelin Games, and it was a hell of a way to announce their arrival.

Zybex is a one or (simultaneous!) two-player game that sees you blasting your way across sixteen worlds. You always begin your game on the first world, Arcturus, but if you can get to the end, you can choose any of the levels from two to twelve in any order. It's an excellent progression system, and it almost guarantees that you won't get bored. You can also spend a bit of time figuring out a preferred route... it's likely that you'll find some worlds easier than others.

Aargh! UFOs! Kill them all!

A horizontally-scrolling shoot 'em up would be nothing without extra weapons though, and Zybex has plenty. Shooting certain enemies will release these weapons, five in total, and picking up more than one will increase the power of that weapon. Again, it's a great system, with some weapons working better on some enemies, meaning you'll need to switch on the fly, or you can develop your own playing style. Careful though... if you die, you'll lose a power level from the weapon you were using at the time...

This world is called Diablos. Oddly, it's not that difficult.

As you progress, you'll need to keep an eye out, as the only way you can access levels thirteen to sixteen is by collecting tokens that can be found throughout the levels. They're not that difficult to spot, they look totally different from anything else in the game.

Zybex is a tough game, but a really fun one. Even unlocking one of the later levels takes a heck of a lot of doing, but you'll have a good time trying. Again, this is a game I owned and loved back in the day, and it didn't disappoint when I played it again. Another tremendous bargain at £1.99.

Chiller (Commodore 64)

2011-03-23T15:10:00.006Z

Here's a game that I remember a mate owning but that I never played, simply because I didn't have a Commodore 64 then. It must have been one of Mastertronic's earlier C64 games, and it was programmed by the Darling Brothers, who went on to become Codemasters...

Coz this is Chiller... Chiller night... what?

Apparently they weren't code masters when they programmed this... the emulator version spends a lot of time slagging them off for releasing a broken game that was impossible to complete, and goes into detail about how the cracker had to rewrite the game to make it doable!

It's typical early-years Commodore 64 fare... a simple platformer split into a few screens, where you have to collect everything on one screen in order to progress to the next. You can actually tell it's pretty much a bridge from the Vic 20 or C-16 to the C64. And if you haven't guessed, it's loosely (cough!) based on Michael Jackson's Thriller video...

This film must be rubbish, there's nobody here!

Chiller a very colourful game... almost too colourful... but it's not exactly thrilling, being a fairly slow-moving effort where you just wait for things to pass before collecting the crosses you need. You do have an energy limit which forces some urgency, but completing the task at hand is not really much fun. Still, in those early days I'm sure it kept a fair few people happy for their £1.99.

ZUB (ZX Spectrum)

2011-03-23T14:07:00.006Z

ZUB is a game that came highly recommended to me by Spectrum owners. And indeed, on World of Spectrum it averages a highly respectable 7.8 out of 10 from the voting public, which is about on a par with its Crash review of 79%. And yet, I remembered it not doing very well in ZZAP! 64. Must have been a poor port, I figured, as I settled down to play.

Poor ZUB is a creature on the planet ZUB, where everybody is called ZUB. That's gonna cause a bit of confusion. Turns out the green eyeball of ZUB, one of King ZUB's most precious crown jewels, has been nicked. And for some reason you, a coward of the highest order, has been promoted to Sergeant and tasked with the duty of retrieving it.

I'm facing the wrong way. They're going to knock me all the way to the bottom again...

The game has a great, well-written storyline, which made me chuckle a couple of times. Pity the same can't be said about the game. To escape a planet, ZUB must use the platforms that are positioned around the place to get as high as possible, where the teleport is situated. ZUB must find a platform, leap onto it, and then steer it to where the next highest is located, jump up to that one, and so on.

Sounds easy, but there are robots hovering about who will think nothing of knocking ZUB from his perch. Chances are you'll get really high and then be knocked all the way to the bottom. It's really annoying and frustrating, and the bouncing screen when you walk doesn't help. ZUB is the worst game I've played so far today. It does nothing but irritate. If I want to play a game where I jump up a lot, I'll play PapiJump+ on my iPod Touch. The ZZAP! lads were right with this one, I think... not a lot of fun.

The Human Race (Commodore 64)

2011-03-23T13:53:00.001Z

The Human Race is a game that I bought on a whim one day, played to death and loved... only to find that hardly anybody else seems to have heard of it!

Based upon the evolution of man, it's a five-screen game that mixes up a few game styles as you aim to progress from dopey caveman to stylin' sophisticate. There are many obstacles in the way, from dinosaurs early on (yeah, OK), to massive lava-spewing volcanos, crocodiles, giant spiders and finally Fate himself.

Level two, and it's getting a bit hot underfoot...

Each screen was quite difficult in its own right, but once you'd worked it out it was likely that you'd complete it nine times out of ten (although the final level, the race against Fate, was a bit trickier). Graphically it was a bit of a mixed bag, although still quite nice for a budget game. The music, though, was amazing. There was a different Rob Hubbard tune for every screen, and each one was absolutely superb and well-suited to the level.

If I saw a spider that big, I wouldn't make it until tomorrow, never mind another 25,000 years.

With no ZZAP! 64 review of this game, I'm not sure what prompted me to buy it, but I never regretted it. I completed it loads of times, and kept enjoying it, although a large part of playing it again and again was to listen to the music. Funnily enough, though, any time I've asked anyone else to play it, they've found it incredibly difficult and hated it. Even the person that cracked it for use with an emulator built in a scrolling message saying the game is rubbish and far too hard!

Level five, the race against Fate. I really don't see what's so tricky.

I'm not having that, and I'm going to share the love a bit today. For me, The Human Race kept me entertained for the entire life of my C64 and beyond. I know it's not the best game ever, I wouldn't claim that, but I've always enjoyed it and for me it was a fantastic use of £1.99, It's a game that I still fire up now and again, even today. And I still manage to complete it.

Action Biker (Commodore 64)

2011-03-23T13:11:00.001Z

I reckon that if you ever played Action Biker back in the day, then you can still hum or whistle the music. Altogether now: do-dee-dooo, do-do-dee-doooo...

Lovely, catchy little tune aside, Action Biker (subtitled Clumsy Colin after a marketing deal with KP Skips!) saw you riding a motorbike around town with no real objective other than to pick up an item before time ran out. The quicker you found the next item the higher your score, providing the only real incentive to get a move on.

The last item picked up was a crash helmet. Just as well, if you're going to go dicking around on a building site...

Some of the items would prove useful in extending your game, such as a bigger fuel tank, and you could get items such as turbo boost which could help you complete the race course more quickly. And there were some memorable locations to explore, such as the building site or rollercoaster.

Action Biker was a great Sunday afternoon game, very chilled out and relaxed as you pootled around town. There was no great sense of urgency, even though you had a limitation on your fuel, and the laid-back soundtrack contributed further to that. It never got the heart racing, but Action Biker always left you with a little smile on your face.

Star Farce (ZX Spectrum)

2011-03-23T12:29:00.004Z

I never had a Spectrum... I've mentioned that before... so I don't have a particularly wide knowledge of Spectrum games. A lot of the games I'll play today, I won't have played before. I'm quite looking forward to that... for all the Spectrum was maligned by a large section of Commodore 64 owners (and vice versa, of course), there's no doubt the Spectrum was home to a lot of quality games.

I picked this one because I love the arcade game Star Force. Still, I was a bit wary... would this be a total pisstake? I really didn't know how it would work out.

It turns out that Star Farce is a really good vertically-scrolling shooter. The reason for the name lies in the amusing plot... aliens have been trying to make contact with Earth for years, but every time they do, paranoid Earthlings send out waves of attack craft to wipe out these "aggressors". The Universe is collectively sick of this, and to put a stop to it (and to save those that are left), they've sent in a fighter pilot to destroy Earth's resources and attack craft, and all its inhabitants while they're at it. You are that fighter pilot.

Kapow-pow-pow-pow-pow! Take that, evil Earth scum!

I was amazed by Star Farce. For just £1.99, this would have been amazing value. The graphics are really great, being detailed and colourful. Pretty much everything you see is destructible... it felt fantastic to shoot a power generator and see it set off a chain reaction that destroyed everything connected to it.

There are loads of other tricks and surprises, too, one of which sees you going under the planet's surface to tackle a mothership. You also get loads of options before you even start playing the game. Star Farce is one of the most full-featured and entertaining shmups I've seen on either Spectrum or C64, which makes the price all the more surprising. The only quibble I really had was with the firing rate of the ship. Other than that, I had a really great time with it, and quite fancy another go now...

I, Ball (Commodore 64)

2011-03-23T12:05:00.002Z

"I, Ball! I-I-I-I, Ball! I, Ball!"

I just about shit myself the first time I loaded this game and it shouted that at me. They could have put some kind of warning in the instructions or on the loading screen, or something. I'm sure it just said "Music and FX by Rob Hubbard".

It's an odd game, this one. I, Ball's family has been captured by the evil Terry Ball (groan) and I, who managed to escape, is in a hurry to get them back. What follows is something of a race against time, with guns!

GIANT ENEMY CRAB! Well, sort of.

You have to whizz up the screen before time runs out on the level. Making this more difficult are the peculiar obstacles in your way... some are merely that, whereas others are radioactive and deadly to the touch. You just bounce off the ordinary obstacles, but this can cause enough of a problem... bouncing into a deadly obstacle or enemy is not nice!

There are loads of constantly respawning enemies, although it's a few seconds before they become active and therefore threatening. It's best to shoot them at this point, but you have to be careful because your lasers can overheat. To help you out, discs can be picked up along the way, and these can contain all manner of impressive weaponry.

Taste the rainbow of fruit flavours, y'bastards.

With sixteen levels, lots of blasting action and a great Rob Hubbard soundtrack, I,Ball was well worth the £1.99 at the time. I enjoyed playing it again now... there are some niggles, with the collision detection on the obstacles being a bit ropey and causing more problems than necessary. It's still an entertaining and challenging blast, though.

Booty (ZX Spectrum)

2011-03-23T11:01:00.003Z

Arrrr, Jim Lad (fer that be yer name)... yer on a ship that be occupied by naught but ghost pirates. But this ship is laden wi' booty... and it's yours fer the takin', if ye can outwit those scurvy knaves and scabbards, and empty the hold o' its goodies.

Arrrr... enough of that, Talk Like A Pirate Day is months away! Booty is a platform game where you play the put-upon cabin boy who, sick of his lot in life, decides to gather up as much of the pirates' loot as he can and, to use modern parlance for once, "do one".

Right, so... key 7 gets the gun, but lets that pirate out. OK...

Naturally, they're not about to give up their ill-gotten gains as easily as all that, and they walk the decks, cutlasses in hand, all ready to hand out a damn good thrashing to anyone wi' sticky fingers. Whoops, sorry.

It's a clever little game, is Booty. For all the pirates and their parrots deal instant death, the biggest obstacle is the layout of the ship. Some of the rooms are really tricky to negotiate, with keys having to be picked up in the right order to allow you access to certain rooms at the right times. Oh, and some of the treasure is booby-trapped...

OK, I've got my sea legs, but they never said I'd need my air legs too!

I first played Booty on a mate's Spectrum, and I liked it so much that it was one of the first games I bought when I got my Commodore 64. Pity, then, that the 64 version was wretched and a huge disappointment (and waste of pocket money!). There's no such problem with the Spectrum version... it was a cracking release from Firebird, and gave me a taxing but enjoyable hour or so when playing it again. Arrrr, that it did. Oh, bugger.

Thrust (Commodore 64)

2011-03-23T10:41:00.004Z

Although I'll be a mixture of the great and the good and the weird and the wonderful today, it seems only right that I begin with a game that is considered to be perhaps the Godfather of budget games... Thrust.

I'll be honest... I hated Thrust when I first played it. It was keyboard only, for a start. We 64 owners were used to using joysticks to play games. And who wanted that big brown thing perched on their lap? Nope... hated it.

For some reason, though, I kept going back to it. Maybe with it being so highly rated I figured it was me that was wrong about it, maybe I just felt drawn back to it to at least try and complete a couple of levels... but eventually I was drawn in.

This doesn't look like it'll end well...

The premise is pretty simple sci-fi stuff... our planet is running out of energy, but it's known there is a system of planets that was mined to death years ago, and the plan is to send in a ship to retrieve a power pod from each planet, blow up its main generator thus setting off a world-destroying cataclysmic explosion, and then get out of there with the power pod before you're caught in the blast.

Naturally, it's not as easy as it sounds. And the real beauty of Thrust lies in the perfectly balanced gameplay. The controls are absolutely spot on, the inertia is absolutely spot on... when you connect to the power pod and try to lift it clear, you really feel the extra weight. And then you go spinning out of control and implode on a cavern wall. Well, I do.

OK... sooo... now what?

Just when you start getting good at it, the game turns into an utter bastard and will throw in a new element to keep you on the hop and further test your skills. Get a few levels into the game and you'll have to deal with reverse gravity. Get further still and the walls of the caverns become invisible. Yes, that's ridiculous... you can only see the walls when you activate your shield.

Thrust, unbelievably, is twenty-five years old this year. Quite often, home computer games from that time have aged badly, and aren't what you remember them to be. Thrust, however, is still as fresh, playable, demanding and entertaining as it ever was. It seems incredible that it only cost £1.99 when it was released. It's an absolute stone-cold classic, and if you've never played, get it downloaded right now. Better still, get onto eBay and buy the setup you need to play it for real. It's an amazing game.

*Thrust did not originate on the Commodore 64... in fact, it was a full-price release on the BBC computer. Amazing that it wasn't full-price when released on other systems.

It's Budget Day!

2011-03-19T13:06:00.006Z

Morning all, and welcome to Budget Day, where I will spend my day wearing rose-tinted glasses and posting about cheapo games from bygone days.

The Chancellor of the Exchequer can only DREAM of owning a budget bag like that.

So, what exactly is or was a budget game? These days, if a console game is released with a price tag of £19.99, it's considered a budget game. £19.99! My kids don't get anywhere near that much a week in pocket money... whose budget exactly is that?

Games originally cost upwards of £5.95... not too bad in today's prices, but still a fair sum to the kids of the early Eighties. It took companies like Mastertronic and Firebird to introduce a second tier of pricing that appealed to those with less disposable income. Firebird originally offered games for £2.50... much more affordable, as one or two weeks' pocket money would be enough to grab yourself some gaming goodness.

It was when Mastertronic introduced their classic £1.99 range that pocket money gaming really took off. No longer did you have to trail into the city (costing extra valuable money) in order to buy a game... you could find the distinctive Mastertronic packaging in newsagents, petrol stations... shops where kids would be dragged in by the mothers, and displayed prominently, in the chance that mam might be badgered into buying Little Johnny a gaming treat.

It really worked, too. Anybody with a computer owned at least one game with that classic black and red packaging. Firebird soon reduced their games to £1.99, with their own packaging standing out, too. They were happy times, with loads of new titles released, and kids buying them in droves.

The quality wasn't always there, of course. These companies, particularly in the beginning, were outlets for the bedroom coders. And whilst some of those programmers were good and would go on to greater things, if your game actually worked there was a fair chance it would be published, often to the disappointment of children across the country!

Things eventually spiralled out of control, with more and more budget companies springing up and Mastertronic and Firebird introducing range after range, at differing prices. The "golden era" of budget games had passed, probably in tandem with computer owners growing up. For a while, though, it had been one of the most exciting times in the growth of home gaming.

March 23rd is Budget Day!

2011-03-18T16:40:00.003Z

Awwww, come on... that's boring!

It's going to be horrible, isn't it? Another Government stooge standing in front of a lot of rowdy blokes (and women), telling them how much they're going to screw everyone (but themselves) for in the coming year.

Well, I'm going to try and lighten things a little. All day (or as much as is humanly possible) it will be Budget Day with A Gamer Forever Voyaging. I am going to be playing and writing about budget games on the Commodore 64 and ZX Spectrum. If you loved your Mastertronic and Firebird games, this will be the place to visit.

My intention is to do budget-sized articles... two or three paragraphs, so that I can fit more in. The intention is to cover lots of games so that I can bring many a nostalgic smile to faces. And in keeping with the saving money thing... I will be interspersing them with tweets of links to games that I consider to be good bargains. So if you don't follow me on Twitter, now might be a good time to start.

I'm looking forward to it. I've got a huge list of games picked out... let's see which ones I get to...

Hyper-Thalamus! Wrap up.

2011-03-17T11:38:00.003Z

Well, that's the end of my trawl through the entire Commodore 64 catalogue of Thalamus games. And a fun time it was, indeed, although it's fair to say it's taken me a bit longer than I'd hoped.

I had a fair idea of what I was coming into... after all, I'd played a number of the games extensively when they were originally released. But it's been a cool ride regardless, watching Thalamus transform from the arguable kings of the 64 shmup into purveyors of the cute and cuddly.

One thing that has been evident from this mini-odyssey was Thalamus' commitment to delivering a quality product. Even when there was the occasional misfire, there's no doubting that a lot of effort went into producing the best gaming experience possible. The games were always immaculately presented, and there were no sloppy graphics or rubbish music to be found anywhere.

There was controversy, as everyone knows. I'm not sure how much of that was warranted, though. I think, perhaps, some of the gaming mags of the time may have had bees in their bonnets about ZZAP! 64's ties to Thalamus, but I don't think they were guilty of overrating the Thalamus games because of this. Indeed, the release of Delta showed that the ZZAP! lads maintained their independence. Thalamus would have been counting on high review scores to continue the momentum from their first release... for ZZAP! to rate it as "lowly" as they did was testament to their reviewing integrity, in my opinion.

As is obvious from my scribblings, there have been more highs than lows. I think the highest point of all for me was the "discovery" of Hunter's Moon. Much like when I played The Sentinel (two years ago? Wow!), finally playing this properly and uncovering a wonderful game was, in itself, enough to make this exercise worthwhile. It was a shame that the Creatures games turned out as relative disappointments to me - but I'm armed with new knowledge, and I'm going to have another crack at Torture Trouble.

Thalamus was a software house that obviously valued quality above quantity. Their catalogue stands up against anyone else on the Commodore 64, even if the merits of some games are highly debatable among fans of the breadbin. But even the "worst" of their games weren't bad games... maybe just overly difficult or frustrating. They were around for longer than you might think... their fourteen Commodore 64 releases came over a span of seven years. They shone brighter than most before burning out, and as a result yhey're still remembered fondly. Rightfully so.

Nobby the Aardvark (Commodore 64)

2011-03-17T11:25:00.002Z

And so, this trip through the Thalamus Commodore 64 catalogue comes to an end with their final release, Nobby the Aardvark. To be honest, I never really took any notice of this one... my 64, if not exactly gathering dust at this point was certainly very neglected, and I only really continued to buy ZZAP! 64 out of a sense of loyalty. Also, I couldn't be arsed to go to the newsagents to cancel it.

Awww... cute little kitty...BOMB! AAARRGH!

Nobby the Aardvark received a ZZAP! Gold Medal, which suggests it's a pretty decent game, although towards the end of the Commodore 64's life there's a suspicion that some games might have been overrated because there wasn't much else coming out. While researching this, I discovered it was programmed by Genesis Software, who had previously programmed the excellent Codemasters budget game, CJ's Elephant Antics. Hopes were indeed high.

Mmmmmm... ants... omnomnomnom.

The first time I played the game, that pedigree was evident. The graphic style and gameplay are not a million miles away from CJ, with a very cute and charasmatic main character, lots of humour and some fun and varied enemies.

The game features Nobby who, unsurprisingly given the game's title, is an aardvark. And he's not just any old aardvark... he appears to be a direct descendant of the aardvark from the Pink Panther cartoons (wink, wink). Nobby's having a peaceful day at home when suddenly a small colony of ants invade, pinch all his stuff and disappear down into their anthill. The blighters!

Big balloon... big balloon... bigger than the sun and moon...

Nobby gives chase, and manages to catch the ant that got stuck outside after he couldn't fit the fridge down there. After a bit of bargaining in which Nobby agrees not to eat the ant, the little fella reveals to Nobby that there is a place called Antopia, which is full of big, juicy ants, just there for the taking. Perhaps naively, Nobby believes him, lets the ant go and sets off to gorge himself silly.

Ah. That's going to cause a bit of a problem.

Nobby's quest is a lengthy one, which sees him walking, swimming and even hot air ballooning in his efforts to reach Antopia. That means there's a fair amount of variety to Nobby the Aardvark... something that is very welcome in a game of this type. How many platform games see you piloting a hot air balloon?

Awwww... cute little baby whales!

The aardvark is apparently a member of the cat family, as Nobby starts out with nine lives. He is, however, unarmed... something of a problem, as the road to Antopia is fraught with danger. Animals of all kinds take offence at the sight of Nobby, and will attack him as soon as he draws near. There are even planes that fly by, dropping bombs at our poor aardvark hero.

Luckily, there's a way for Nobby to fight back. Strewn around the landscap are anthills, and Nobby can use his long snout to suck up a load of ants, which can then be fired at enemy critters. That'll teach 'em! Unfortunately there are other hazards that are not animal in nature, and they must be avoided at all costs.

Aaaargh! Christ! Is it worth all this for an unlimited supply of ants?

Nobby the Aardvark is a very playable game. It's generally a lot of fun, and although it can be frustrating if you fall miles from a platform, but it's usually your own stupid fault when that happens and when you learn to take care you can usually get past anything. Some sections work better than others... the hot air balloon section (which reminds me of another of the developer's Commodore 64 games, New Zealand Story) is just a little too cramped to be entirely successful, for instance.

That said, there's not a single area that I didn't enjoy. Nobby the Aardvark is very polished, and even if the different sections take ideas from existing games, as a whole it's an entertaining game in its own right. It may have been the last time the Thalamus name graced the Commodore 64, but they maintained their high standards right to the end.

Winter Camp (Commodore 64)

2011-03-12T18:24:00.002Z

Summer Camp must have done pretty well, because within a year John Ferrari and Thalamus had a sequel ready. And when you've already been to Summer Camp, where do you go next? Of course... Winter Camp!

Yay! I win! That means I actually get to play more of the game...

Yes, Maximus Mouse returned... a good thing if you ask me, because for all Summer Camp was rock hard and perhaps not as enjoyable to play as it might have been with the odd gameplay tweak, there's no denying that Maximus was a very appealing character and he deserved another runout. Maybe the balance would be a little more forgiving this time around?

Maximus gets a chilly reception on his first day...

Maximus has found himself to be something of a hero after the events of Summer Camp, when he saved the day (and the opening ceremony) by locating the camp's missing Stars and Stripes flag. As a reward, he's been offered the post of Ranger at Camp Nice 'N' Icey - Winter Camp!

I knew that bears shit in the woods, but nobody told me they threw snowballs in them!

Excited about this though Maximus is, once he's completed his assessment (a level where he must skate off, Track and Field-style (i.e. waggling), against three opponents to prove his worth), he notices that the camp is in danger! It's up to him to save the day, and the camp, by progressing through a number of fun-filled levels.

I thought it was only Atari games where you played with paddles?

The danger comes from a large bird, which can be spotted at the top of the screen. It's flying towards a nearby mountain top... nothing too dangerous there, you might think, but there's a pebble balanced precariously on top of the mountain, and if the bird dislodges it, it'll cause an avalanche that will destroy the camp! Maximus has to get to that pebble before the bird can, and make the camp safe for all to enjoy.

What a strange looking Creature...

There are some really entertaining levels in this game. The second one, which sees you skating from left-to-right across a frozen lake or river, reminded me for some reason of Park Patrol... and that can never be a bad thing. Complete that, and you'll have to defeat some pesky snowball-throwing bears, that hide in trees and pelt you when they think you're not looking. This level plays a bit like Operation Wolf... again, no bad thing.

Going Loco, down in... oh, hang on, I'm miles away from there...

Other levels include rafting up the river (even more like Park Patrol), an irritating Master of the Lamps-style musical notes game, featuring a guest appearance by Clyde Radcliffe, a Black Thunder/Loco/Suicide Express-type joystick-waggling skiing level, a variation on downhill skiing where you're trapped in a snowball (!) and a Donkey Kong rip-off.

Oh bum, I've missed the extra time flags. I'll never do this level now.

As you probably recall (you should, it was just a couple of posts ago!), I quite liked Summer Camp as a cartoony game, but felt it was just a bit too difficult. Winter Camp is also difficult, but feels more enjoyable to play, and the variety between levels is a factor here. The fact that it's not just straightforward platforming all the way contributes to the fun, and each event is enjoyable despite the difficulty, although the actual level objectives can be a bit indistinct. And again, the cuteness is very endearing.

Ooh, he's a big fella. Or, she's a big lass. Not sure how you tell with birds.

For all its irritations, I think that John Ferrari just about nailed it with this one. It's not the best game ever, and not terribly original, but it's well thought-out and achieves probably everything it set out to achieve, from the cartoon look through to most of the levels being fun, stand-alone levels rather than just mini-games. Sadly, when doing my research, I discovered that John died in 1996. Thanks to the Commodore 64 community, though, his games still live on. I'm glad I finally got around to playing this one, although it's for The Human Race that I'll always remember his name...

Creatures 2: Torture Trouble (Commodore 64)

2011-03-10T17:20:00.001Z

Creatures was a huge hit for Thalamus, getting pretty much universal praise. It was almost a given, then that it would spawn a sequel. What wasn't a given was the form it would take. The Rowlands brothers stripped back their original game and took a look at what worked best. And what worked best were the torture screens.

As you'll remember from the first game, the torture screens popped up occasionally throughout the game, once you'd gone far enough. In them, you had to solve a platforming puzzle in order to free your friend from a gruesome death. They were twisted, imaginative and funny. A whole game based around them is a great idea.

I've got a bit of a problem, though. The only working version I've got is an uncracked .tap file, which means that for the purposes of this write-up I've had to rely on my gameplaying skill.

Shoot that BASTAAARD there, jump up and kill that other BASTAAARD, then go down and GRAAAAAARRRRGHHHH!!

Turns out, I haven't got any.

I must have played the first screen over a hundred times (no, I'm not exaggerating), and I just can't do it. Twice, I've managed to get to the critter on the bike and cut him loose, only to be flattened by him. The other times, I've usually been killed by that bastard green thing. I keep getting my timing wrong, and the collision detection is accurate but very harsh.

So, Creatures 2: Torture Trouble. Great idea, and I'm sure it's very funny once you make progress. I'm just really frustrated with it, and I can't play it any more. If I can figure it out or if anyone can give me any tips, I might revisit it, but for now I'm done. Sorry.

Summer Camp (Commodore 64)

2011-03-09T10:10:00.001Z

Following the release of Creatures, all Thalamus' games would feature cute and cuddly things. A far cry from the glory days of shoot 'em ups, true, but they still seemed to do OK. Next up from them was Summer Camp. Now, whilst doing my research I discovered that Summer Camp was programmed by John D. Ferrari. I remembered that name from one of my first ever Commodore 64 games... he programmed Mastertronic's budget release, The Human Race, which is a game I've always loved. You'll see more on that one soon... but that gave me more of an urge to play Summer Camp. I'd always presumed he never programmed anything else after that, I'd never seen his name on any other games!

This game's star is a real work of art!

Summer Camp is set in, erm, a summer camp. We don't really have them in the UK, it's more of an American tradition, where kids are sent during the school holidays so that parents can have a few weeks of peace and quiet. Anyway, this particular camp is about to have its opening ceremony. But what's an opening ceremony without the Stars and Stripes flag? Nothing, that's what! And as sheer bad luck would have it, the camp's flag has gone missing.

Those little helicopters are deadly! Luckily, Maximus' tail doubles up nicely...

Now, this could have happened for any number of reasons, and who knows who could be to blame? It could be anyone's fault, but Maximus Mouse, the wee rodenty fella that lives in the camp's grounds, just knows that the finger will be pointed in his direction. With that thought on his mind, he makes it his business to hunt down and replace the good ol' Stars and Stripes, ensuring that calamity is avoided at the opening ceremony.

After all this time, at last, confirmation of life on the moon.

Of course, and you knew this was coming... that's easier said than done. Maximus is not the only creature to inhabit the camp... there are all kinds of woodland critters crawling, leaping and flying around, and more besides. Most won't actively attack Maximus, but they will certainly get in his way, and touching them is a bit on the deadly side.

Boy, you look like a horse's ass.

Maximus' objective is a tricky one, and in order to be able to complete it he's going to need vehicles ro get about. Being a mouse, there aren't any handy, but there are boxes of parts lying around the camp. Maximus must leap and bound his way to the boxes and pick up all that are lying around a level, thus completing a blueprint and getting him a step further in his quest.

The bonus level. Step on the arrows in the right order to win.

All this leaping around is an energy-sapping business, but luckily there are food icons scattered around each level, which can be picked up to restore some energy. That's not their only use, though... this being a platform game, some things may be a little difficult to reach, until you realise you can jump on the food icons...

Oh good, a bar. You might need a drink at this point.

In fact, there are other little tricks to this game. For a while, I spent my time trying to avoid everything. And then I had a little thought, and decided to try something, and it was then that I discovered that you can ride on kites and balloons. Very helpful indeed! They don't kill you, but the fall from one of them might...

Let's go fly a kite, up to the heighest height.

It's at this point that you're thinking this is one of the best games ever. Sadly, I can't say that's the case. Although it has its fair share of plus points, there's one overwhelming negative... it's just too hard. I can imagine that back in the day I'd have spent ages playing it, and I might even have done OK at it, but with my self-imposed limit of an hour or so it was really hard to make much progress (without the trainer). If you can get the right weapon you stand more of a chance, and there are some fun pickups to be had, but a game that seems to be going well can come to an end frighteningly quickly.

Maximus has met his end. You see this screen a lot.

Summer Camp is a cute game with a real sense of character. The star of the game is endearing, and its filled with cute, cartoony touches (a great example is the way Maximus is redrawn after a death). But that cuteness is a velvet glove wrapped around an iron fist. It's just that bit too difficult, whereas if it had been toned down a bit we might have been looking at a really fun platformer. A visit to Summer Camp should be the time of your life... this one has just a bit too much hard labour.