Xenon (Commodore Amiga)

I can't remember ever playing Xenon on my mate's Amiga. I remember playing Xenon 2, vividly. But any memory of the first one escapes me. Strange. Maybe I didn't play it at all.

Now I have, though, and here we are. Xenon is a pretty interesting vertically-scrolling shoot 'em up. You start in a land-based craft, and can move in any of eight directions across the landscape. Enemy gun emplacements will rise from the ground and should be destroyed... not just because they're nasty, but also because they tend to leave behind powerups for your craft.


Early doors, and the land craft is about to have some work to do...

Eventually, though, the landscape will present you with towers and structures that get in your way. When that happens, a quick waggle of the joystick will see you transform into a plane-type craft. Soaring through the skies, you'll have no problem in flying right over any bothersome obstacles. This craft, too, can be powered-up with collectables.


The plane, on level 3. Yes, that says demo. No, I couldn't get to level 3 myself.

The game's formula is fairly predictable, otherwise. Move up the screen, destroying the enemies until you reach the end-level boss. Then die. Erm, I mean, you must defeat that to progress to the next level.

It's a pretty difficult game, but quite an enjoyable one. It's neat and crisp looking, and has a very upbeat tune which does a good job of driving you on through the level. Later efforts have surpassed this, but I reckon that Xenon stands as a good example of its time, with enough there to make it worthy of an hour of play. I could go back to this one.

Arx Fatalis (PC)

This wasn't my original choice for today... but my original choice didn't work, so I needed a replacement. Arx Fatalis has been sitting on my hard drive, unplayed, for ages, so it was a convenient stand-in.

Arx Fatalis is a role-playing game. That's a genre I've always convinced myself I like, mainly because of the thirteen months I spent completing The Bard's Tale between 1987 and 1988. In reality, though, most of the ones I've played I've found fairly boring.

And yet, I've found myself travelling that lonely path yet again. Arx Fatalis sees you in a world with no sun, where all the planet's inhabitants have been forced to band together to create an underground habitat in order to survive. But now that they've been down there a while, the bond is breaking and squabbling is, once again, the order of the day.


Whyyyyy, yoooou... I oughtta strangle you with my bare hands!

Your character finds himself imprisoned and with no memory. Isn't that always the way? Of course, the first task is to find a way out, and once that is done, start trying to piece together your life and eke out a new existence, before finding what your true mission is.

It's fairly standard stuff... walk around, get attacked by a rat, kill the rat, eat the rat. Oddly, you can bray the crap out of a rat with a giant bone and it will keep coming back for more, but one punch from you and it's dead. Obviously, you don't know your own strength. Rat meat, along with other foodstuffs, can be cooked before eating, which makes it more nutritious. Quite a cool idea, although I'm sure other games must have used this as well.


The dank, brown atmosphere made our hero think he'd been transported onto the Commodore 64...

Another cool idea is the magic system. You find runes on your travels, and what do runes make? Spells. To cast a spell, you use the mouse to draw the relevant rune symbols in the air. Draw them successfully, and the spell will be cast. I played about five minutes of Morrowind once (but I'll be playing that one in more depth for the blog at some point...) and I seem to remember it used a similar system. Could be wrong, though.

Arx Fatalis, research has uncovered, was intended to be Ultima Underworld III. Makes no difference to me, I haven't played any of the other Ultimas (have I played anything in my life?). But it is a pretty decent, if very murky and brown game, with a fairly interesting control system. If I can find the time, I might see myself getting on with this one OK. But that's a pretty big "if".

Sword & Poker (iPhone/iPod Touch)

For years, I've ridiculed the idea of videogames where you use cards to defeat your enemies. I've tried to play a couple of them, and hated them. I've called them stupid and pointless, among other things. And then I went and played Sword & Poker.

Sword & Poker is something of a dungeon crawler. It's not like Dungeon Master, and it's not like the Diablo games. Instead, you're shown a top view of a dungeon level, with you starting at the beginning, and a pathway to the end. Along the way are a series of monsters, which you must defeat to get to the end of the level. You can't go around them, although there are times when the path branches so you can choose which fight to take. But basically, you'll have a set number of fights to win in order to get to the next level. If your energy runs out before you get to the end, you've lost and will have to restart the level.


Ready... FIGHT! Erm, DRAW! Snap? Damn.

When you do encounter an enemy, you face off using a five by five grid. Nine cards are placed in the centre of the grid... you will then be dealt four cards, and you must place two of them on the grid to make the best five-card poker hand that you can.

Each hand causes damage to your enemy. Cleverly, it doesn't always work out that the strongest hand causes the most damage. That's the case with your starting weapon, but as you earn money you can buy new weapons at the end of every level, thanks to the handily placed shop. Some weapons have magic properties... others sacrifice damage with stronger hands in order to make some of the mid-level hands do more damage. So you might only hit for one point of damage for a straight flush, but you might hit for thirty for a full house.


Not sure about you, but I don't much like the look of that fella at the end...

It's an interesting element of strategy, because those premium hands don't show up all that often. You'll do best if you take stock at the end of every level, see what you can afford and look at how much damage each weapon can do, and whether certain trade-offs are worth it.

Sword & Poker is a very simple idea, and one I'm sure has been used many times before but that I've been too blinkered to see. I've learned a lesson with this game... although an idea might be stupid (which I still think the fighting with cards thing is), it doesn't mean it won't be enjoyable. You won't see me rushing out to buy more card fighting games, but I've learned not to be so ignorantly dismissive.

Damn

Missed a day! I'm disappointed, but I suppose it's inevitable, eventually. Stupid winter cold germs!

Oh well, back on track again...

Unsung Classics. Number 5: Firetrack (Commodore 64)

Have you ever played Star Force? It's a classic arcade vertically-scrolling shoot 'em up, albeit probably underappreciated. It's not exactly a giant name of the arcades, but those in the know... well... they know.

Star Force was in one of Consett's taxi offices in the Eighties, and I spent a fair bit of my pocket money on it. It plays so well, and you always feel capable of doing better. When you don't, it's your own fault. I loved it, and longed for a conversion for my Commodore 64. It never came.


You can tell they're aliens... look at that colour scheme!

There used to be a big bus station in Consett. It was shaped like a giant crescent, and it had all kinds of nooks and crannies. Some held taxi offices with arcade games. One held a second-hand bookshop. Ever keen to expand on his empire, the bookshop owner sold second-hand computer games, too. It was a good way for us kids to expand our collections... newish games were available at pocket money prices.

On one of my ventures into the bookshop, I saw Firetrack in the box of Commodore 64 games. I remembered it had had a good review in ZZAP! 64, and when I looked at the back of the box... it looked a bit like Star Force! And so, £2.99 later, it was mine.


That's a bit easier on the eye. Blows up nicely, too.

To be honest, I think that if someone had attempted to convert Star Force to the Commodore 64, it probably wouldn't have been as good as Firetrack. It's probably the best vertically-scrolling shooter on the system, and yet, like its arcade inspiration, was woefully underappreciated in its day.

There's a plot, but it's stupid and irrelevant. All that matters here is that you've got alien landscapes and ships to blast. The first level sees you up against fairly slow attack waves... they're easily dispatched... if you concentrate. It's easy to find yourself distracted, because each level is littered with + and X shaped squares, and if you destroy these they increase your bonus at the end of the level. There are also question marks at regular intervals... destroy a certain number of them and you'll be awarded an extra life.


Awww, that looks like little allotments. Burn them all!

As you progress through the levels, the difficulty increases... first, the attack waves get faster, and then they start shooting at you. Eventually, it'll take all your mettle and reflexes just to carry on.

Firetrack, for me, is an excellent arcade shoot 'em up. I haven't found too many that agree, but on the other hand, I haven't found that many that have actually played it. I think it suffered at the time because it was released right at the time weapon pickups became popular. That doesn't bother me.. I'm all for simplicity and purity if the game is good. Firetrack is very good, and I've really enjoyed playing it again.

Bionic Commando Rearmed (XBox Live Arcade)

Bionic Commando is a name that goes back a long way. I used to love the Commodore 64 conversion of the arcade game. It was tough but fun, with great music. I never got to play the arcade version, but that hardly matters. If you're American, though, the Bionic Commando name means something entirely different. A brand new version was produced for the NES, which although having a similar main character was a very different game.

It's this version which has been remade for the modern consoles. I bought it the day it came out, played the tutorial, hated it and never loaded it again. Still, the name holds an appeal, and when Capcom produced a brand new, all-singing all-dancing update, I was interested. I wasn't forty quid's worth of interested though... but months and months later, I was able to nab it for £4.50 from Tesco. Rude not to, at that. Before playing that, though, I thought it might be wise to revisit BC: Rearmed.

Good decision.


Ka-BOOOOM! Even the poster is shocked at the power of that one.

Having spent a bit more time with Rearmed and getting to grips with the controls a little more, I started to enjoy myself. The game reminded me quite a bit of Shadow Complex, although that game came out later. It also reminded me of Impossible Mission, strangely enough. I think it was the behaviour of the guards that did it... they'd wander around their little areas quite happily, but when I got near they'd maybe move faster or start firing. It's quite a bit like Impossible Mission's robot droids.

Once I got myself over the fact that your commando can't jump (which I still think is silly, but no longer insurmountable), I started pinging myself around the platform-strewn environments quite handily. And it becomes fun, swinging across a gap, landing successfully , taking out a guard, catching onto the platform directly above, hauling yourself up, hanging there, blasting another guard and then vaulting up onto the platform. Turning that into a fluid, seamless action is very satisfying. It feels right, it feels good.


That's the bugger, there. Let me pass!

There's a small amount of other spy elements here... hacking the computers is also IM-esque. It's a bit weird to start with, but it soon becomes manageable.

Just as I was really getting into it, though, I came to the first end-level boss. And that's where I remain. I just couldn't figure it out at all, even with the clues I was armed with. In fact, we came to an impasse... it couldn't hurt me, and I couldn't hurt it. After 15 minutes, it was back to the dashboard.

Shame, really... there's a lot of game for the MS points, and although it's tough, it feels more challenging than unfair. It's presented very nicely... modern, but with plenty of nods to the old-school. I expect I'll have another crack at this one, probably after I've had a look at GameFAQs or something. I hope the brand new version can live up to this one.

Go!Go! Beckham! Adventure on Soccer Island (Gameboy Advance)

I was wandering around Cash Converters earlier, as I like to do, because it's quite a handy place for picking up bargain games for the blog. On this occasion, I spotted they had Go!Go! Beckham! Adventure on Soccer Island for the GBA. It's not a game I was familiar with... I'd only ever heard of it once, a couple of years ago, thanks to a fellow forum-goer (and blog follower... thanks, puffle!). Even then, I knew absolutely nothing about it, but for £2.99 I reckoned it was worth a punt (see what I did there?).

I hadn't even whacked it into the DS, though, when I saw that it was made my Denki... and my heart sank. Denki were responsible (obviously) for the previously-played-for-the-blog game, Denki Blocks! (those people at Denki love exclamation marks more than I love putting three full stops for a pause!).

Still, from the screenshots it looked like an entirely different game, so on it went. And although the presentation has a lot of the hallmarks from that game, I enjoyed Go!Go! Beckham a lot more.


Beckham ponders over his next move. Don't think too hard, Dave, it might hurt!

Go!Go! Beckham! is a platform game, where bad guy Mister Woe and his League of Monsters are running wild over Soccer Island. Obviously this isn't right, and look who's here to save the day! It's David Beckham!

If you think that's a slightly strange premise for a videogame, well, yeah, it is. Diddy Dave is a cute looking little fella (apparently there are those that think the same of the bloke in real life), and as he runs around the side-scrolling levels, booting and heading his footy all over the place.

Naturally there's a lot more to it than that. There are monsters on the island... I wouldn't exactly say they're rampaging around the place, mind. They trundle about, occasionally getting in the way, but are soon dispatched with a couple of trademark 30-yard raspers from our Dave.


In a clear case of art imitating life, Dave collects a huge pile of cash.

Strewn around the island's levels are coins (of course) and gems, which should be collected, and keys, which must also be collected to unlock the goal. Collect all the keys on the level, then blast the ball through the goal and the level is complete. With 40 cutesy levels to be cleared, there's plenty to do. The game also saves high scores and best times, so there's plenty of replay value here as well.

Go!Go! Beckham! Adventure on Soccer Island is a really nice little platform game. The football mechanic does add something a little different. I've never played a Kirby game (there's something for the future), but I used to watch Aidan playing, and I see a slight resemblance to those games here, but with plenty of its own charm and ideas, too. What a good little pickup for three quid.

Atomhex (XBox 360 Indie Games)

Another day, another 360 indie shooter.

Atomhex is an indie game, and it's a twin-stick arena shooter. There's a lot of them about, so if you make one, it has to have enough worthwhile features of its own to make it stand out. I would say that Atomhex just about does.


A triple stream of laser death. Handy, with those big atomhexes around.

You control an Asteroids-style ship, and you whizz around the arena, using your other stick to shoot in whichever direction you choose. I'm not sure I like that in this game... because of the shape of the ship, that mode of firing looks wrong. It's the right choice of control method for the game, though... maybe a different design of player ship would have been a better fit.

Atoms and hexes of different colours roam the board. Your objective should be to shoot the shields from the hexes and collect them for points multipliers and different weapons. If hexes bond to an atom, the combination starts firing out harmful enemies of varying types. This is when things start to get hectic...


That's not my high score. That's just insane.

Although this is more dangerous, it's very good for your score, and massive bonuses can be had at this point. Also, it's just more fun when you're barely in control. That said, Atomhex never really clicked with me like I'd expected it to. Still, it's cheap, there's lots to shoot, and there are 100 Awards to unlock, which is nice for an Achievement-deprived indie game. It's certainly worth a punt if arena shooters are your thing.

Dr. Robotnik's Mean Bean Machine (Sega Megadrive)

Why do I subject myself to puzzle games? Whyyyyyyyyy? I know what they're about, and I know what they'll do to me. And yet, I'll try them on the off-chance it's one of those rare Puzzle Quest types that'll have me hooked. It hardly ever works out that way.

If you know what Puyo Puyo is, then you know what Dr. Robotnik's Mean Bean Machine is. Groups of jelly-like coloured beans will drop from the top of the screen, and you have to quickly arrange them in such a way that like colours will be grouped together. Get a group of four and they'll disappear. And as you're facing off against an opponent, the quicker you clear your groups, or better yet, the more chains of groups you make, the more damage you'll cause to your opponent's playfield.


Why don't you do that, then? I'll get on with something else.

It's all very familiar, although this was probably one of the first games of this particular type. And as with all the rest of these games, I'm rubbish at it. There are thirteen stages in the game... I managed to reach the second. The first was actually quite easy. I was pleasantly surprised. But on the second stage, the opponent took off at breakneck speed, and I just can't play these games that way. Defeat was inevitable, every time.


Well, there's no getting out of that. Looks like my time is up.

And so, my time with the game came to an end in predictable fashion. Worth a try, I suppose, but the outcome was inevitable. If you like games like this, well, this one is pretty cutesy and obviously a nice example. But it's absolutely not for me.

Highway Encounter (ZX Spectrum)

Highway Encounter is a game that I probably wouldn't have thought about playing, but it's in World of Spectrum's Top 20 games, and as the Spectrum is a bit of a blind spot for me, I thought it would make a good blog game. I can actually remember reading the review of the Commodore 64 version in ZZAP! 64, where it got a pretty decent if unspectacular review, so I wasn't coming into this completely in the dark.

Then again, I might as well have been. I had no idea what the gameplay was going to be like... although I knew that the game had a Zaxxon-esque viewpoint, it plays nothing like that. Nor is it particularly fast-paced, as you might expect from a game called Highway Encounter.


Hi-ho, hi-ho, it's off to work we go...

The game sees Earth in the grip of an alien invasion. The only way to repel this invasion is to destroy the mothership, which is parked at the end of a highway. It's far too dangerous to send in troops, so the plan is to use a squadron of droids to transport a massively powerful bomb called the Lasertron to the mothership, where it can be detonated, and all will be well.

You start with five droids, one of which is under your direct control. I say "direct control"... that was never really the case with me! Your droid uses an Asteroids-style control method, where you rotate and then push forward to accelerate. It really takes some getting used to!

The remaining droids just plough on in a straight line, pushing the Lasertron toward its destination. That sounds great, but naturally the enemy has populated the highway with obstructions. Your job is to clear these, either by pushing obstacles out of the way or by shooting enemy droids. Or, in some instances, you actually have to block the path so that the droids don't just rush headlong into danger.


Guys! Come baaaaack! Wait for meeeeeee!

It's easier said than done. The game takes on something of a puzzling nature as you work out the best way through each screen... if you're in time. Many's the time my squad of droids went piling onto the next screen before I could get there, and when I caught up, I found them in trouble.

I found Highway Encounter to be a really interesting little game, if a difficult one. I would imagine that if you put the time in and get to grips with it, it would prove very rewarding. It was nice to play something as different as this... there's not a lot like it.

Alien 3 (Super Nintendo)

It's film tie-in time today, as I've decided to dip into the SNES catalogue and play "one of the best SNES games of all time", Alien Cubed. Sorry, Alien 3.

You know that when Acclaim bought the licence to Alien 3, they were really just buying the licence to the Alien name. Then again, after the action spectacular that was Aliens, maybe they just figured the film would be another all-guns-blazing affair. I bet their jaws dropped when they saw that it was more in the vein of the first film.


What are you looking at? Eh?

It's interesting to see, then, that they've almost completely disregarded the film's plot in making the game. The characters and setting are there... Ripley is shaven-headed, and there are prisoners to be rescued here and there. Generally speaking, though, Alien 3 is a maze game where you blast as many aliens as you can find.

And really, that's it. There are missions, sure... accessed through the many terminals that are scattered around the landscape. But what it boils down to is that you trudge around a bleak-looking maze, shooting aliens and finding stuff.


Christ. Bit bleak here, innit?

I'll be honest, I found Alien 3 to be an uninspiring effort in my short time with it. There's not really any skill involved... because a large part of the game takes place in tunnels or ducts, the aliens are just there to be shot. Once again, a game that's been touted as an all-time classic has disappointed me. Just as well there's always another game around the corner...

Rocket Ranger (Commodore Amiga)

This is my 200th post in the blog! For a long while there, it didn't look like I'd get that far. So in order to celebrate, I've played something that I absolutely loved in its time - Cinemaware's Rocket Ranger.

Cinemaware.

The name brings to mind that horror of gaming past - the interactive movie. And indeed, Cinemaware did stray some way down that path. But rather than actually attempt to make interactive movies, they made videogames with a movie feel to them... subtle difference. I don't think many people had a bad word to say about their ambitious efforts, back in the day.


You can shake that fist all you like, I'm still coming to knock your block off...

Rocket Ranger, for me, was the ultimate Cinemaware game. It took inspiration from 1950s sci-fi matinees, blended a fantastically mental plot with appealing mini-games that didn't outstay their welcome, and wrapped the lot up with presentation that was totally atmospheric and gripped you right from the loading screen. It got everything right.

I said "mental plot", didn't I? Here goes: In 1940, the Nazis won World War II. They discovered an element on the moon called Lunarium, which allowed them to make huge technological advances and therefore win the war. The planet has since suffered a century of darkness and oppression. This can be reversed, however; scientists FROM THE FUTURE have invented a time machine, and using this, they have sent you, in 1940, the equipment you will need to single-handedly take on and defeat the Nazi forces. These items are a rocket pack, a radium pistol and a secret codewheel. Use them wisely, and alter history...


And I'm off! Eventually... you should have seen me crash just before this.

I always loved that premise, and Cinemaware pulled out all the stops to do it justice. It really looks the part, and in fact if you've ever seen The Rocketeer, you could easily think that they took some inspiration from this game! Similarly, the dramatic music leading into setpieces adds a hell of a lot to the atmosphere. That's really what this game is about... atmosphere. The illusion is never broken.

As for the gameplay... well, any detractors of Cinemaware games would point to the limited gameplay as a flaw. Using your network of spies, you must uncover the locations of key Nazi strongholds. Once you have found one, you must fly there and defeat whatever awaits. This leads to a variety of mini-games, all of which are pretty enjoyable. These range from shooting down squadrons of Nazi planes to fistfights with Nazi guards to standoffs at ancient temples. The way everything is linked together makes for a totally cohesive experience.


What a welcome! I'm going down like a lead balloon with this lot.

And for me, that's what Rocket Ranger is... a great experience. Playing it repeatedly is not boring... much as I can watch a favourite film several times and enjoy it every time, even though I know what's going to happen, I can do the same thing playing Rocket Ranger. Except... I've never finished it yet. That's something to aim for... and something I will have great satisfaction in achieving.

Unsung Classics. Number 4: Cliff Hanger (Commodore 64).

Remember the Road Runner arcade game? I do. I remember how disappointing it was. The cartoons revolved around Wile E. Coyote, not the Road Runner, and his daft traps and schemes. So putting you in the shoes of the Road Runner in a boring, frustrating chase game was not a great move, no matter how charming your enemy. It kind of missed the point, I thought. If only they'd made a Road Runner game from the point of view of Wile E. Coyote.

Well, somebody did. And they called it Cliff Hanger.

I first found Cliff Hanger on a C90 full of games that I'd borrowed. Although the tape was numbered with the positions of each game (the best way to get past uninteresting, already owned or known-to-be-cack games), this time I was playing through everything on the tape, because I hadn't played any of the games on there at all and figured I might as well give every one a crack.


Well, this all looks quite straightforward. But even the simplest screens can sometimes have a kick...

When Cliff Hanger loaded up, I laughed. The music was bad, the main character (Cliff Hanger) limped feebly onto the title screen, and his brother was called Coat. Oh dear.

But then I played the game.

At first, I was intrigued by the Road Runner-esque backdrops. They weren't great, but they were effective. And I was standing next to a boulder for no apparent reason, with nothing to do. But then I heard this odd noise. Was it a train? No... was that meant to be footsteps? And then I saw a tiny black shape in the distance, running towards me.


That strange rock formation could prove useful... better be careful with it, though!

He disappeared out of sight in a valley, only to reappear on the top level and run right past where I was standing, guns blazing! They were kind of blazing in a dubbed-Chinese-martial-arts-film way... his shots and the sounds rarely matched up. And as the bandit disappeared from sight, Cliff Hanger scratched his head. As well he might.

I wasn't put off by this... Cliff Hanger ended up being probably one of my most-played Commodore 64 games, despite the fact it was technically rubbish. It was just so much fun! One of the ways the game stayed fun was in the way it presented the levels to you... you weren't forced to play a screen repeatedly until you passed it. Instead, the game had a pool of levels that it picked from randomly. A game such as this could be frustrating if you had to play the same screen over and over again, so it was a clever piece of design. Once you completed the block of screens you were on, you'd be given a completely new block to play.


Hmmm. Magnet. Anvil. Death?

I've played Cliff Hanger in the last couple of years... Aidan really likes it. I knew I was safe in using it as an Unsung Classic before I'd even loaded it. Much like the Road Runner cartoons, it just never gets old, although I suppose some of its appeal might lie in how much you like that kind of humour.

The aim of each screen is to defeat the fleeing bandit, using a carefully-constructed trap. There's only one way to pull off the trap, and sometimes it's not immediately evident how you manage this. Do it wrong and you'll probably die in true cartoon style. Do it right and you still might not be successful... you have to get your timing right, too. Miss the bandit and Cliff might scratch his head or turn red and shake his fist in anger.

Do it right and time it right, and it's a comedy classic.


Now, come on. How did that boulder get there? Still, can't look a gift horse in the mouth...

The traps, as you'd expect, involve typical Wild West props. Boulders, mostly, but other things come into play, such as trampolines, magnets and anvils. Some of the set-ups are simple... the bandit will run through a gulch (isn't that a great word?), and you might have to roll a boulder down the ravine wall and squash him. Others, as you'd expect from a fella inspired by Wile E. Coyote, are much more convoluted.

The fun is derived from figuring out the traps, and then seeing them being executed perfectly. Split-second timing is necessary, so it's very satisfying just to pull off even the simplest trap. Even though it's 26 years old, Cliff Hanger retains all the appeal it ever had, and is a game I'd still recommend to anyone.

Super Laser Racer (PC)

I'm always buying games on a whim, especially when they're cheap. I know there are thousands of games available for this blog through emulators, but buying new ones can never hurt (well, unless they turn out to be shit). The digital distribution networks are particularly good for adding cheap titles to a collection, as they always have sales on. Super Laser Racer was two quid when I bought it, although it's only £2.99 at its regular price. A proper budget game, then!

Super Laser Racer is a futuristic racing game, but it's more in the vein of Super Sprint than F-Zero. And that's not a bad thing! The top-down racer can be a great game, if it's done well. I reckon Super Laser Racer is done well.


These corners can be tricky, especially when you're being rammed and shot at!

Looks-wise, I think it's really attractive. It's very much the Geometry Wars of the racing game genre in that respect, with glowing neon geometric shapes being the order of the day. There are loads of particles flying about too, as you'd probably expect, and I think it works really well with this kind of game.

As for the game, it works in a time-honoured tradition. There are four leagues to race, but only the first is unlocked from the beginning. Likewise, you get quite a choice of vehicle, each with different attributes, but only three are available from the start... the rest are unlockable. That may be a touch predictable, but it works and it keeps the interest level up a bit longer than it otherwise might.


A missile hit helps me to streak through into sixth place.

There are weapons, too... drive over a weapons box to pick up something random and helpful. These range from lasers, bombs and mines for the detriment of enemy racers, to shields and turbo, which are obviously helpful to you. You have to watch yourself, as you can run out of energy and if you do, you blow up, and you score no points for the race. Fortunately each track has a "pit" area by the side of the start straight, and if you drive through that your shields are recharged.

There's nothing particularly revolutionary about Super Laser Racer... it's just a classic genre with a bit of a twist, and done very well. Oh, and it has Achievements too, if that sort of thing floats your boat. If I'd bought this for as a Mastertronic game for £2.99 on my Commodore 64, I'd have been chuffed. For £2.99 on Steam... I'm perfectly happy with it.

Shoot1Up (XBox 360 Indie Games)

80 points.

80 Microsoft points.

How much is that, anyway? If you buy points from XBox.com, that's 68 pence. Let's make it 70. Now let's convert it into the currency of the arcades... seven tens.

If Shoot1Up had been in the arcades when they were in their heyday, and if you could have got past the iffy name, you would have easily spent seven tens on it, and probably a fair bit more.



Shoot1Up is like a cross between TacScan, Terra Cresta and... oh, I don't know. Something else beginning with 'T'.  Truxton. That'll do. Something with a lot of bullets. You start the game with a fleet, nay, a phalanx of fighter planes. As you'd expect, alien hordes are in need of dispatching, and your boys are the ones given the task.

Here's the game mechanic. You start with a small fleet of ships. Holding the A button fires a stream of bullets. The trigger buttons will expand or contract your fleet of ships. If you contract, the ships fly "on top" of each other, so they only take up as much room as one ship. As a result, you only unleash a small stream of bullets. It also makes it easier to dodge enemy bullets and ships... but as a consequence, your scoring is reduced.



If, however, you expand the formation, then your ships' firepower links up to produce an awesome blast of laser death, far more destructive than when they're contracted. And as this is a riskier tactic and you're more prone to losing ships, you score more heavily.

You can't just stay expanded, though... at times it will be necessary to narrow your field just to stay alive. If you lose all your ships, it's game over. Luckily, though, you can obtain additional ships quite regularly, and they're instantly added to your fleet on the screen. Nothing is kept in reserve... it's all out, all of the time. The most ships I've had at a time is 18, but I think the maximum available is 30. Occasionally you can also pick up a Ghost, which puts a mirror of your fleet on screen for a limited time, for twice as much damage potential.



With only six levels, it's not hard to get to the end, although those six levels are bolstered by a choice of routes as you go. And although the graphics look charmingly old-school, the backgrounds repeat a bit too much, which is a wee bit of a shame but nowhere near a problem. I also hear talk of a problem where using the shield attack gives you an unbalanced multiplier, resulting in massively over-inflated scores. I wouldn't know, I've never used shield attack!

Even with those "issues", there's no way you can say this isn't worth the money, if you're an old-school arcade shmup fan. In fact, I'd happily pay more. I've played it a few times now, giving myself the good old claw hand from playing it a bit too intensely. And I certainly intend to go back to improve my score. Shoot1Up may not be as subtle as the likes of Leave Home, but it's a hell of a good time for your seven tens.

Aaargh! (Commodore 64)

I nearly missed my update for today, and when I realised I hadn't played anything, I just wrote "Aaargh!" in the title field. And then I remembered there actually was a game called "Aaargh!"! I remembered reading a review in ZZAP! 64, and I knew it hadn't got a particularly good score, but I thought that I might as well give it a go, seeing as I'd never played it before. Maybe writing that title was fate of some kind?

It wasn't, and I should have taken the time to pick a proper game, because Aaargh! is horrible.


Oi! Where are you going? The temple is over this way!

It's an odd thing... a one-player two-player game. OK, OK, I hear you saying "what?"... but really, it is! The game starts, and two monsters appear on the screen... one a giant horned man and the other a lizard. And you control them both at the same time, with a single joystick. Yep, weird.

Not just weird, but unwieldy, despite the no-doubt-honourable intentions of the programmers. There are objects littering the screen, and you have to manoeuvre the two monsters around them so that they can destroy certain obstacles and progress to the next screen. The monsters breathe fire, and this is enough to clear a path to the next level.


Hey, I think there are chickens in there!

Eventually, you'll pick up an object which results in the two monsters fighting each other. That's a weird thing, as well. If you're controlling the two protagonists, how do you then fight each other? How do you choose which one wins? Apparently you don't... I couldn't work out how the hell the game decided who was the winner.

There have been some good, or at least decent monster games in the past... Rampage was alright, Primal Rage served its purpose quite well... but Aaargh! is horrible. It's horrible now, and it would have been horrible twenty-odd years ago. I'll let this one serve as a lesson to me.

Galaxian (Arcade/MAME/Namco Museum)

Today is my dad's birthday, so in a tribute to him, I thought I'd play what is probably his favourite game ever: Galaxian.

Surely the whole of the Developed World knows Galaxian. It's one of the most established classics we have. And it hasn't just died away - Namco has kept it alive on every format known to man through their Museum collections. That said, it's taken something of a back seat to its sequel, Galaga, which many prefer.

Not me.


7000 points. That gets you an extra ship. That'll come in handy.

For me, Galaga over-complicates the formula. With its attack patterns, dual-ship capability and challenging stages, it throws a lot more into the pot. And it's a good game, there's no doubt about it. But I think it takes the swoopy-swirly aspect of the alien attacks too far, leading to much frustration at times.

Galaxian, on the other hand, is as pure as arcade gaming comes. It's just you, with your ship and its single laser, against an enormous alien force. That's it. The parameters never change, and eventually they're going to force you into a mistake and you'll die. It's inevitable.

Survival relies on you getting into The Zone. Galaxian was probably the first game I ever played where I got into The Zone, at the age of 8. It's probably the game most responsible for me loving videogames now. And for me, it's still as enjoyable as it was when I played it in the chip shop in 1980.

Angry Birds (iPhone/iPod Touch)

Say the words "physics-based puzzle game" to me, and I'll more than likely run off screaming, as fast as my not-so-little legs will carry me. On the odd occasion, though, something will come along that's just engaging, charming and entertaining enough to grab me. Angry Birds is one such game.

Angry Birds is, on the face of it, ridiculous. It's got a hilariously stupid premise, which is very endearing. Green pigs have stolen the birds' eggs, and that has made them angry. They want revenge. How do they get it? By, in true fairytale fashion, blowing the pigs' houses down. But they don't huff and puff, oh no. They launch themselves from catapults, knocking over any structures in their way before exploding in a final coup-de-grace.


So, feathered friends... how do we take out this building?

This is the kind of imagination that has led to the games industry being so varied. I love that idea, and I love the angry scowls on the birds' faces as they line up, waiting to be flung at great speeds towards wood, brick, glass and pork. Tremendous.

The game has a lot of levels, and a little bit of depth, too. As you progress, other kinds of birds become available for greater destructive potential. There's some trial and error in the gameplay... you're unlikely to get many efforts right first time. It's a bit like Worms in that respect... aim and fire, then adjust for your next go and hope to hit the mark more accurately.


GIDDOWER! That'll do it!

There's high-scoring potential here, too. You get points (seemingly) for accuracy, and for the things you blow up, and there are bonuses for the number of birds you have left at the end of each screen. You're ranked for each effort too... anywhere from one to three stars for successfully completing the screen. Yet another way to draw you back into the game.

I've said it's like Worms... it's also, basically, a 2D version of Boom Blox, that great Wii game. Maybe more of a cross between the two... either way, I'm enjoying it a hell of a lot, which is something of a surprise to me, and a very pleasant one.

Rambo III (Commodore Amiga)

I'm not sure what I expected of this game, but I didn't expect this.

This game was produced by Ocean, and it must have been at a time when they were churning out sub-standard, generic arcade adventures, because that's what this is. I've only played the first level, because it went on for ages and I got fed up, but what that involves is Rambo searching an enemy compound for General Trautman, who is probably as close to a friend as Rambo has.

Sounds great... there's a promise of action, bloodshed and slaughter, maybe with a bit of stealth thrown in as you're sure to be accosted by huge numbers of enemy guards.

That's what you'd think.


If I just walk up and down in this passageway, nobody will EVER get past...

"Accosted", though, is not a word I would use. These are the stupidest guards, or enemies, that I think I've ever seen in a video game. Take the first screenshot... Rambo is moving along a narrow passageway. A guard is walking across the passageway... up and down, up and down. At no time will the guard see Rambo coming towards him, because the guards only ever see you if you are directly in their line of sight. So you can casually saunter up to the guard, stand just to the left of him as he trundles up and down, up and down, and then stab him to death at your leisure on one of his passes.

And they're all like that. Every single guard. They will only attack you if you move into their direct line of sight. So if you learn their patterns you could feasibly get through the entire level without so much as a single enemy shot being fired. I suppose that qualifies as "stealth" on some level...


I'm facing the guard, and constantly thrusting my knife at him. But he can't see me, and will walk straight into the knife, and his death.

You will learn their patterns, too. Because every time you step back onto a screen you've already been on (yes, it's flick-screen, not scrolling), then all guards are miraculously restored, trundling up and down on their tram-track routes, not giving a joy for the presence of the highly armed half-naked man that's wandering around their building.

Oh, and "wandering" is an apt description. Rambo moves very, very slowly. I'm not sure if it's because he's so muscular that he can't get any speed up, but it's ridiculous. It takes forever just to get from one end of a screen to the other. That really doesn't help matters, at all.

I honestly don't care what comes next. It could be level after level of the best action sequences ever to grace the Amiga. I simply can't bring myself to go wandering around that first level, ever again.

Darwinia (PC, Xbox 360 (XBLA))

I've read a lot about Darwinia over time, and it's always been highly recommended. I've never been sure that it was for me, though, but with it being on special offer on Steam a while back, I figured I'd pick it up for the purposes of this blog, and if I liked it, so much the better.

It gets off to a good start, with lots of lovely retro touches appealing to the old-school gamer in me. There are distinct throwbacks to the Spectrum and the Amiga, providing an instant pull, although they're purely presentational. Still, they got me in, which was a good start.

Trouble is, the rest of the game had me baffled.


He's telling me I need to create an engineer to fix that building. The place to do that is quite far away...

I lay part of the blame with the game itself... it doesn't really signpost you at the beginning. Seasoned strategists will no doubt not view this as a problem, but for me, I spent ages scrolling around the landscape, looking at the nice things but wondering what on Earth to do with them.

Eventually, I accidentally discovered how to create some units. That was good. Then I put them on the map, and they were all wiped out by the virus that was spreading across the landscape. That was bad.


And there he goes, on his way to repair the building. Sadly, he will be obliterated before he gets there. Every time.

After an hour or so, I stumbled across a set of goals for the level. So I was making progress of a sort, although after another twenty minutes I still didn't have a clue how to achieve the first of the goals.

I swear that as I get older I'm becoming stupid. Also, impatient. I was already aware of the second one... I used to spend hours figuring things out in games, and now I just can't be bothered. It looks like I'm falling victim to today's world of instant gratification. These are two things I'm quite determined to shake... I need my brain to be of a certain standard for one thing, and for another, there's a lot of reward to be found for just a little patience. Darwinia deserves my patience, and the use of my brain. I may be down with this one, but I'm not out just yet...