Advent Calendar - December 24th.

24 - The Game (PS2)

Legend has it that a survey taken showed that, in the event of a terrorist attack, a high percentage of US citizens believed that Jack Bauer would save them. They should have re-worded it, replacing "US citizens" with "stupid people". Let's face it, you could conduct similar surveys in any country in the Western world and, if you asked the "right" demographic, would get a similar response. But it's a measure of the success of the TV show 24, that his would be the first name to spring to mind. A game based on the show was, therefore, inevitable.


Man, I hate getting up this early.

Oddly enough, considering I lived in the US between 2000 and 2005, barring trailers I've never seen a single minute of 24. It was massively hyped over there, and incredibly popular. And I'm led to believe it's a fine television show. But I missed the first one when it was broadcast, and then the second one had been on before I'd had a chance to see the first one, and so on, and so on. And so it seemed pointless watching any after that. And when the second season came on, it seemed pointless watching it having not seen the first. So there you go. I know what it's about, I know who's in it... but I've never seen it.


Someone had to pay... you'll do.

I don't know if that was a help or a hindrance when playing the game. I mean, this is mostly fan service, I would guess. If you're a fan of the show, it's probably awesome to play at being in Jack Bauer's shoes. It'll be great to be interacting with all your favourite (or least favourite) characters. I went into it totally fresh, though... maybe that was for the best. Too often games are crushed by the weight of expectation.

As far as game versions of an established entertainment medium go, 24: The Game actually seems really good. It's fast-paced, although whether that's in keeping with a TV show that needs to build suspense, I'm not sure. The graphics, for a PS2, are really quite good. There are good likenesses of the main characters (Kiefer Sutherland was instantly recognisable, if a little Kevin Bacon-ish at times, and I checked out a few of the others), and the voice acting is as good as you'd expect.


Well, there goes my no-claims bonus.

For all it succeeds with its presentation though, the gameplay itself doesn't match that. Luckily, it isn't awful. Well, sometimes it gets close, but generally it plays pretty well. The opening level, which also serves as a tutorial, see you as Jack Bauer storming a cargo ship that has been hijacked by terrorists to ship a ricin bomb. Although it's not terribly difficult, it's presented in such a way that it really ramps up the tension and you feel as though you have to get a move on at all times or disaster will ensue.


Do you know who blew up my car? Talk, and you'll live.

It's not all quite like that, though. There are some strange mini-games... the bomb defusal game you get on completion of the first level is a bit rubbish, for instance. And later on, there are some rubbish driving bits that the game could really have done without. I suppose they needed filler content though... it's difficult to maintain a story like this over the full length of a game.


This is actually a really interesting and effective way of moving the story.

Still, the story is interesting enough to mean I can overlook those things. And I appreciated that the game doesn't focus entirely on Jack Bauer... occasional levels see you playing as other characters, which fleshes things out considerably for the non-afficionado such as myself. I'd really like to see a 24 game on the current systems, but I suppose that ship sailed a good while ago. But for now, I'm gripped enough by this one to want to see it through to the end.

Advent Calendar - December 16th.

Mary-Kate and Ashley - Sweet 16: Licensed to Drive (PS2)

Wait a minute. Stop right there. Rub your eyes. Now look again. Yes... you are reading that right.

By way of explanation, let me outline my self-imposed rules for the Advent Calendar. As you must have guessed by now, for each date on the calendar I'm playing a game with the corresponding number in the title. Now, wherever possible, I will not play a directly numbered sequel or a game with a year in the title (such as FIFA 10). I'm also trying to avoid flight simulators... not just because I don't like them, but because once you get into the teens it's hard to find games that aren't flight simulators but that have numbers in the title. I tried finding something else for the number 16... but all I could find was reference to a Sega game called 16t, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't find that game.

So I was left with this.


Like, omigosh, I'm totally driving!

This game features cartoon versions of America's favourite twins, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. They're really excited, because they've just turned sixteen, which means they can... get their driving licenses! Although, if they only knew, that's not why half the internet was waiting for them to turn sixteen...

There are three game modes in Licensed to Drive, although you really only need one, that one being Adventure mode... which according to the instructions "offers a diverting dreamland of driving fun". Well, doesn't that just sound peachy!

You might be disappointed to discover you don't actually do any driving. Instead, the game is played like a boardgame. Aaaahhhh... might have been better if I'd taken the hit of embarrassment and got someone else to play. When you hit X, you stop the spinning counter. The first go determines the order in which everyone plays, and the second determines how many moves you get to make. Oh, if you play a one-player game, you have to sit and watch all your computer-controlled friends tootling around the board...


If they were doing this in bikinis, like most other female American college girls, they'd have a lot more money...

Once you're actually going, you "park" on the appropriate spot for the number you've rolled. This opens up one of a number of mini-games. The first one I played, believe it or not, was a Guitar Hero clone... where you decorate cupcakes. Yes, as each cupcake passes by, you hit the right button at the right time to land a splodge of icing on it. Awesome.

There's a good number and variety of mini-games. Some are kind-of racing games... for instance, there's a jetski game which is a little bit like Super Sprint, or a windsurfing game where you race a friend up the screen, a bit like a reverse Toobin'. Others are dafter, like a game of tag on the beach, or a game where fans blow clothes around and you have to collect the ones that match your colour. I can't believe I've just written that.


Don't smile at me like that. It's creepy.

Obviously, as the it's the twins' birthday, there's going to be a party, so as you're driving round you have to pick up as many friends as possible. They're hanging out by the spaces you land on, so if you hit the right number your car will start to fill up.

If you happen to land on a space already occupied by a friend, then you have a one-on-one lez-off. Sorry, one-on-one battle. Just checking you were really reading. Anyway, in this mode you play a mini-game against whichever friend it is to see who wins the space on the board, with the loser being sent backwards. Simple, but in keeping with a lot of board games.


Yes. This is probably what you'd expect from this game.

There are a few mini-games that do let you get behind the wheel of a car... sort of. One is a weird Frogger-esque effort, for instance, that has you in your car "hopping" across busy roads to get to the off-ramp. Another sees the four girls driving up the screen and all you have to do is hit left or right to avoid cones and collect keys. Very simple, but I guess it's effective in its aim.

Before I even loaded up Mary-Kate and Ashley - Sweet 16: Licensed to Drive, I feared the worst and expected it to be absolute shit. And you know what? It isn't. I mean, I wouldn't recommend it to anyone here... I'm not the target audience and neither, I suspect, is anyone that reads this... but for what it is, it does the job well enough. It's pretty well polished, the mini-games are at least playable and even fun on occasions, and if you had a few eleven-year-old girls around for a sleepover, I can imagine that this would keep them reasonably well entertained for a while.

I'm shocked. But I won't be playing it again. Anyone want it? Free of charge.

WarioWare Smooth Moves (Nintendo Wii)

I'm totally ignorant when it comes to WarioWare games... in fact, I'm totally ignorant when it comes to Wario in general. Well, let's face it, if I've only recently played Super Mario Bros. properly, I'm hardly likely to have bothered with Wario.

I picked this one up for Aidan as a little Christmas bonus, for the princely sum of six pounds. I thought it would be rude not to... it looked and sounded like silly fun that we might all be able to enjoy, and the Wii could do with a bit more of a run-out.

And, indeed, it's just as you'd expect. It's packed with silly mini-games... or maybe you'd call some of them micro-games, as they might only last a second! The games are appealingly presented, and imaginitive in their use of the Wiimote, although the attempt at passing off the controls almost as ancient mystical kung-fu techniques comes across as a cross between a Marks & Spencer ad and a 70s porn film!


You might be waiting a while... he's only got four!

Porn overtures notwithstanding, bite-size gaming like this is quite appealing, and with the games lasting such short periods of time and being so silly, WarioWare Smooth Moves could be ideal for parties or gatherings. So what kind of ridiculous idea is it to have multiplayer locked from the beginning?

That's right, a single player has to play right through the game to unlock multiplayer. That's ridiculous, and was quite a disappointment for Aidan. Luckily, you don't really have to do an enormous amount of playing to get your multiplayer component unlocked, and it is fun getting there, but it's just an unnecessary frustration.

WarioWare Smooth Moves is not a game I'd ever play for hours on end. It doesn't particularly lend itself well to prolonged playing, but I don't think that intention was ever in the minds of the designers. It's more of a daft distraction than a game, but there's plenty of room in the world for silly toys, and I think I did quite well in picking this one up for that price.